A buggy computer

I was doing some gardening over the last couple of days, and I came
across one of these:

http://www.sbnature.org/collections/invert/entom/cop/img/misc/steno-b.jpg

The thing is hideously ugly. Its body is as big as my thumb. I put it
in a plastic tub next to the monitor. He's there right now, and he's
getting kinda spunky. It's a little after midnight, and he's moving
around and making noise - climbing up the wall, scratching his
mandibles, flicking his antennae. There's a dead leaf in the tub, but
he doesn't seem interested in eating it. I have to say, he reminds me
of horror movies like Them and Starship Troopers. Not a pretty
picture. I'm not sure what to do with him. Put him back in the garden,
chuck him in the bin, or keep him as a pet?

 

It's a periodical cicada nymph. As we have no native species I'm not sure
why you are posting this to a uk newsgroup.

 

Because we are the FOAK.

 

No, it's actually a jerusalem cricket, genus Stenopelmatus.

It's UKRM. There is _nothing_ outside the purview of UKRM.

 

I stand corrected. However, it's still not a uk species.

Fair enough but the lack of context was confusing. The native ukrm
population might have spent fruitless hours digging around their own
gardens in search of a friend like yours, only to discover that they had
been cruelly misled.

 

Not in this case - I got the species wrong. Sometimes ukrm can be the
FOMMAB (fount of misinfomation, mistakes and bollocks).

 

I'd happily nominate heated discussions of contemporary feminism as
being outside the purview of UKRM.

 

Treat it as a Bush tucker trail and eat the fucking thing, but please, no
pictures.

 

"Sometimes"?

 

women are only marginally-tolerable life-support systems for wet and
warm vaginas.

End of.

 

I've searched high and low, but I can't find a decent recipe for
"bug". The closest I can think of is oceanic crustacean, but boiling
it sounds horrible. I suppose broiling it would work with a Creole
seasoning, or perhaps tempura it?
FWIW, the thing has been in a pint-sized plastic tub for almost two
weeks. I forgot about it til I heard it scratching about tonight. I'd
better eat it soon, before it croaks.

 

I suspect that advice holds true for frogs.

 

He's a cute little bug but you're right. It's time for a snack.

http://bertc.com/subfive/recipes/locust.htm

http://www.frogsonice.com/froggy/recipes.shtml