In what incresingly seems to be the norm i can now announce my auntie died yesterday, i have not seen her for god knows how many years, or in fact any of her kids, but i will have a day off to go to the funeral and scoff some grub. Alan --
I dont know, i have not seen her for years, but i will have a scout around her gaff when i get there on the day and see if anything takes my fancy. Alan --
I was having asmoke outside a club I was playing a gig at and a lass was outside with a face as long as I can remember, so being the gentleman, I aksed her what was up. She said "My Auntie/Grandma/Some other rellie (can't think which now) died today I said to her "Obviously didn't include you in her will then" and got a fucking odd look for my trouble. I won't be offering my sympathies to that fat cow again, I can tell you. I id it again at another pub when a bladdered bloke told me his best pal died that day. "He won't be getting a round in tonight then" didn't sit too well, but then neither of them ever read UKRM.
It's also possible that the reading of the will took place after the body had cooled down a bit. <assuming the look wasn't a "shall we shag the corpse together" leer>
