Biker friendly?

Can anyone recommend any good biker-friendly places to stay in Scotland?

 

onetelnews says...

2 years ago I could have, but she's moved to Salisbury.

 

Everywhere?

SYHA!

 

Go to France instead.

Why the **** bikers want to go to Scotland escapes me.

1. The weather is unutterably foul (Yeah, yeah, I'm always being told
"It was great last week!" but then that's Scotland's weather motto -
"You should have been here last week...")

2. The food is disgusting. Scotland has some of the world's greatest
natural ingredients, and all it can do is deep fry[1] or boil them to
extinction.

3. The natives are rude, surly, jealous of anyone south of the border,
and generally Neolithic.

4. The police are as above, but in uniform, and not quite as bright as
the ordinary natives.

5. The population put up a statue to Mel Gibson, ffs.

6. The roads are admittedly nice, but you never see them because of the
rain, snow, sleet, or the crust of midges across your visor.

7. The beer is the foulest fizzy keg, strained through a Jock Strap
(sic).

8. The accommodation, if offered to POWs, would be banned by the Geneva
Convention.

9. It's as far from civilisation[2] as the Riviera. Which would you
choose? Something that smells like a damp flannel and whose temperature
barely exceeds freezing, or the scent of olives in baking heat?

10. They're crap at football.

11. Still on the sporting theme, they think that throwing tree-trunks is
a spectator sport.

12. The men wear skirts.

13. The girls do, too.

14. England has to pay their dole cheques.

15. They can't build cars. Or even motorcycles. They used to be able to
hammer bits of pig-iron together to make boats, but they lost the knack.

16. They think the North Sea belongs to them. And the oil in it.

There are plenty more reasons, but I'm depressing myself thinking about
them.

On the plus side:-

1. Whisky.

2. Whisky.

3. See (1) and (2).



[1] Chewing gum included ;-)
[2] London.

 

The Older Gentleman says...

I hate whisky, so Scotland now holds no attraction for me whatsoever.

 

<snip big list of reasons>

17. The French are easier to understand.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, The Older Gentleman amazed us all with this pearl
of wisdom:

ROTFL!

 

The short, light nights in June are an attraction for those pikeys
who don't do tours of Norway.

 

1A. May is great, the weather just makes it more interesting!

2A. Crap - you have obviously been scared to open your eyes because of the
rain!

3A. Friendliest people in the UK - although obviously you being English
doesn't help endear you to said locals!

4A. No argument here!

5A. Anybody who fought against the English 900 years ago deserves a statue!
(or anyone who played them in a film . . .)

6A. Best roads for bikes in the UK bar none - and no speed cameras once you
get past Loch Lomond!

7A. Never heard Scottish drink being denigrated by someone South of the
border before!

8A. Being a tight c**t, you get what you pay for . . .

9A. Each to their own, but France is one of the unfriendliest places I've
been, temperature doesn't always make up for everything else!

10A. OK, you got me there!

11A. This is because you can't do it!

12A. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

13A. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

14A. See answer to 16 below.

15A. Or were shafted by a Tory female Prime Minister in the 80's.

16A. It does and it does - although we share it with everyone else to help
balance the books.

Did we do/say something to upset you recently?

 

<translation> That oil gives the chips a funny taste, so can't see a use
for it.

 

The OP obviously doesn't want to go to France otherwise he would have
asked about France.

scenery, roads, booze, getting away from it all.

It is usually one week on one week off. So you get a week of fantastic
riding followed by a week in the pub.

Well maybe if you didnt eat in chip shops or pubs all the time you could
try some of the better restaurants.

Only in the cities, outside of them people are very friendly seeing as
tourism is the biggest source of income.

Oh yeah, and Tracy Emmen is just the bees knees when it comes to public art.

So it doesnt rain, snow, sleet or have clouds of flies anywhere else in
Europe?

That is utter pish, there are plenty of fine ales produced, you just
haven't found them yet. So long as you avoid tennents and mcewans you
should be fine.

Well if you are a pikey and can't afford a decent bed that would be your
problem.

London. Civilized? What a lot of pish, 5 million+ people squashed into
one city, living on top of each other, hideously congested narrow roads,
stinking air pollution and water that has been recycled more times than
my socks. You sir, are living in a rose tinted world if you think that
is civilised.

Thank **** for that, not bad at motorcycles though.

If watching a numpty try not to kill themself by droppin a log on their
head can't be classified as entertainment then what is.

Aye, makes it easier to get into.

Yes, it has been noted that women all over the world wear skirts, not
just in Scotland.

Does it? Oh well then I shall give up work immediately to bludge off the
sassenachs.

Yes, the English vehicle manufacturing base is just an economic
powerhouse isn't it? The demise of the ship building industry is just a
sign of the times.

It does.

Cheer up, you could be Welsh.

--
Martin:
"For a minute there, you bored me to death."
VTR1000 Firestorm
TDR250 http://ukrm.net/BIKES/Yamaha/tdr250.html
martin dot smith nine zero three at ntlworld dot com

 

If you have money, most places will be friendly.



--
Martin:
"For a minute there, you bored me to death."
VTR1000 Firestorm
TDR250 http://ukrm.net/BIKES/Yamaha/tdr250.html
martin dot smith nine zero three at ntlworld dot com

 

What places aren't biker friendly? You're a customer, you pay money.

My criteria would be whether or not they've got reasonable parking (though
this varies on how remote/the area etc) and whether or not they've got a
gravel driveway

Otherwise you're just like any other customer, except you take 10x longer to
leave in the mornings.

 

The women in the rest of the world (Ukraine, Mongolia and Equatorial
Guinea excepted) have decent legs, not flabby pale spotty sausages.

 

So Bear's got the Welsh, you're got the Scotts, anyone with a soldier
in the family has got the Northern Oirish (well half of them anyway) -
can I have the Pitcairn Islanders, or are they too busy having each
other?

 

*bite*
Lots of gorgeous Scots girls around, I particularly like them in Mini
Kilts like this www.babygirlboutique.com/46-156a.jpg WS

My friend Fi, Clyde Coastguard and saviour of many a <cough> poor
yachtsman has terrific legs. She also has a new red Ducati, *far* nicer
than your tired old crock of shit. I shall be stopping by this weekend
to play.

'Hog

 

Plenty of gorgeous Ukranians, too.

 

The women in the rest of the world (Ukraine, Mongolia and Equatorial
Guinea excepted) have decent legs, not flabby pale spotty sausages.[/QUOTE]

ROTFL

When my father in law moved to Motherwell [1] he was quoted as saying,
"...where are all the bonnie lasses then?"

[1] Work reasons

 

I beg to differ, there are plenty of very fit skirt wearing women in
Scotland, however it is apparent that any time you visit you appear in
the middle of winter, sit in a povvo's pub drinking tennents, watching
the local senga slappers and stuffing your face with mars bar suppers.

Which could explain your jaded view.

--
Martin:
"For a minute there, you bored me to death."
VTR1000 Firestorm
TDR250 http://ukrm.net/BIKES/Yamaha/tdr250.html
martin dot smith nine zero three at ntlworld dot com

 

Actually, I know a bloke who spends a lot of time in Ulum Bataar, and
he says that they're the best-looking women in the world.