Biker-to-be

Hi all,

Just thought I'd share that this summer I will finally be taking a DAS
course.

Reckon I'll wait till next year before getting a bike (SRAD GSXR600). But
once the course is done this may well change...

Steve.

 

Steven wrote

An excellent plan.

Prior preparation should involve making all of the following phrases a
part of your normal everyday vocabulary:

Blind ****/bitch/wanker. [select as befits the occasion]

Stupid fucking cage dwelling make-up applying whore.

Wing Mirrors are not put there so you can watch yourself wanking from
the outside[1] dickhead. Let me adjust if for you. Oops, silly me.

Eat monoxide nova buoy.
[always accompanied by the international gesture for "I am
about to pull a wheelie"]

Would you prefer me to spit or swallow Officer?

How fucking much!!?


The last phrase is probably already a part of your vocabulary but can
now be additionally used to cover more than just pulling the bitches.
It is generally employed in respect of the many and varied purchasing
opportunities which will shortly present themselves to you and includes
items such as: speeding fines, insurance loadings, manufacturers spare
part prices, private health insurance, burnt cotton, Oxi-Kleen and a
whole host of other items which together form the essential 21st century
biker experience.



[1] I wonder if sir.doggy does that?

 

If this is who I think it is, he's already familiar with that phrase, as
he found out when he bought a totally shagged Escrote RS Turbot for top
money thinking it was a minter......

 

SteveH wrote

Who is it then? Don't keep us all in suspense, I mightn't have got that
long.

 

Oh, just some twat who is a sometime poster to the cage groups.

We all thought it highly amuzing after he appeared in the
uk.rec.cars.mods group proclaiming his Escrote Turbot was the 'best car
in the group' only for him to post several weeks later that although
he'd paid serious money for it, it was, in fact, a totally shagged
insurance write-off not worth the money the V5 was written on.

 

It's just been pointed out to me that I forgot that it was bought
without a V5, which, on application, revealed 11 previous owners, not
the 'one owner from new' it was sold as.....

 

SteveH wrote

Born with the right holes so he can be all the more easily stitched up
like a kipper, is a phrase that springs to mind.

Well at least he has had the sense to ask here first, which might save
him some pain later on.

 

In that case, I only have one thing to say:

'Gixxer Thou, YKIMS'

 

Like anyone's going to take a YKIMS from a man who moved to Wales!?!??!?

 

I think it's probably appropriate at this point to direct you to a
routemap for our rideout tomorrow:

http://www.steveh.dsl.pipex.com/monday.gif

That's just one of the many reasons why Wales is better than the Home
Counties.

 

Do us a favour and run it through Babelfish first, eh?

 

Heh.

 

When did you find your sense of humor? I thought you'd given up on it
when you couldn't find it back in the 60's?

 

Molly wrote

What this plastic one I found at the bottom of a packet of Sugar Puffs?
1982.

 

That's the puppy.

 

Molly wrote

1982.

 

Tis I. It wasn't shagged, and it was the best car in the group. I didn't pay
top money for it, It was sold as being a single owner, but the rests true.

Steve.