Carnage

And so she fucking well should, as she's 24 grand richer for having met
me

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Inter-Continental Hyperbolistic Missile , CBR600F-W racebike
in the making, TS250C, RD400F (somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

Made me think of this. I posted it about 4 years ago:


*************************************************************************
***


Went to collect oldest daughter from the train station a while back,
last train, late, dutiful parent doing taxis run for visiting lass. The
station is the end of the line for fast trains coming from London.

While waiting on the platform I noticed just in front of the buffers a
lot of feathers and pheasant wings.


Wandering over to the station masters office I asked why they were
there.


"The pheasants get collected on the front of the fast trains on the way
up from London." said the station master, "The bodies only get to drop
of here when the train gets to the end of the line, as they need a while
to get unstuck as it were."


"How come there are only wings and feathers?" I asked.


The station master beckoned me into his office and pointed to a very
large round cat in the corner.


"He knows when the fast trains come in and waits between the buffers!"


The cartoon style imagery that came to mind of this fat cat waiting with
its' mouth open for a pheasant to drop in, had me smiling all the way
home.

 

I hit an emu in the girlfriends kia at 70mph. Unfortuately the Kia was
unscathed and we had to keep the hateful thing. The fun part was
telling the 4 kids not to look back while I went and finished the poor
thing off. With a rotting tree branch. On a 40 degree day. While it
tried to kick me to death with it's one unbroken leg. No fun at all.
When I got back in the car covered in sweat and blood I took one look at
the girlfriend and said "Let's never talk about this again." I don't do
any country driving now without either an axe or the compound bow.

Fraser

 

Shit even in Britain I've always got a decent axe in the boot.
..
..
..
..
To finish off errant cyclists obviously.

 

When I was in Kent and the weather was windy, I never went out without a
chain saw in the boot. And I had need of it more that once. But only on
fallen trees.

 

<thinks>
I have a chain saw. I never thought of keeping it in the boot.

"Cyclist Chainsaw Masacreee"

 

I feel like keeping one in my tankbag for those Monday morning commutes
but it is probably best if I don't.

Fraser

 

I was driving through a village called Methley this morning and got stuck
behind a cyclist. He kept us a good pace. Maintained a sensible road
position. Indicated all his moves. Kept looking back. He had decent lights
fixed front/rear. Actually I don't mind cyclists at all I remembered. I
just hate cunts on bicycles.