Company cars experts

coughed up:

Isn't that more to do with Knob size?

--
Dan L

http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/
1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr

BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6)
X-FOT#000
DIAABTCOD #26
BOMB#18 (slow)
OMF#11

 

I didn't.

But if you choose to read it that way, that's your choice.

You've become quite an argumentative **** these days. More so than you
used to be, anyway.

 

My condolences. That is a pretty depressing bit of road.

 

Andy Bonwick says...

Why do you think I downgraded to the Daytona from a Gixer Thou? I know
my limits and play to them.

 

No. I assume they can't.

 

Nah. Loop the handles of the bag around the gearstick.

Even better, send the missus. In *her* car.

Knees.

Nearly three decades ago (ouch) it was habitual to do the cheap
Chinese with a mate or two. One night we'd got the usual slop and
were sitting in the car outside the Chinese (on a double yellow line),
already scoffing. SOP was to rip the lid off the foil container, fold
the lid in two lengthways and use it as a crude scoop.

We'd each got a couple of mouthfuls down when the car lit up blue
inside and there was a double whoop from behind. I could see the
driver of the Panda car waving at me to **** off, so I slid my tray
over to my mate and moved off smartish. Down the first side street we
went, looking for somewhere to park up. NFC, as the dense residential
streets were parked solid with the cars of the dense residents. No
off-street parking round there. I did a left and left again, going
back for the High Street and a better chance, when a small football
shot across the road, followed immediately by a small child.

I stood the car on its nose, the foil trays lifted off my mate's
knees, the lids fell to the floor and the trays smacked into the
windscreen. The Chinese exploded across the screen and the trays fell
back, we exploded with laughter.

I drove down to one of the seafront car parks, (in passing noting the
Panda car parked on /my/ double yellows and the coppers scoffing
Chinese) and we continued pissing ourselves for the rest of the
evening. I sort-of wiped the screen, intending to do a clean-up the
next morning.

Chinese 'gravy', that's the fucker. Liquefied varnish, it is. Sets
hard overnight, it does. By morning, there was a matte brown film
across the whole screen, with beanshoots and bits of rice and little
groily lumps set in it like squashed flies in amber. It doesn't come
off easy, either. It appeared to be waterproof, detergent-proof and
even meths-proof.

I drew the line at petrol, the car already smelled pretty bad. We
ended up scraping the screen with razor blades and peeling the shite
off in tiny, tiny strips that snapped every 5mm. Took fucking hours.

Every time I put the blower on to clear the screen for weeks
afterwards, little sticky groily bits shot out of the vent and stuck
to the inside of the screen, too. Try explaining that to your Mum
when you take her shopping and keep a straight face.

And that's why I hate 'doughnut eating' coppers, the bastards.

 

On Mon, 15 Jan 2007 03:48:45 +0000, Pip

<snip>

More superb Pip-erry. You've really got the muse at the moment,
haven't you. A particularly liked:

^^^^^^
What a wonderful word. I think we should encourage its use and get it
added to the next edition of the OED.

Heh.
--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3 (slightly broken, currently missing)
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2, IBB#10
`\|/`
`

 

SteveH scribbled:

" "

<fx : thinks of the person who said they'd never have anything other
than SOCs>

 

Which all had clean and tidy interiors.

 

SteveH scribbled:

God, you must work for a pikey lot.

I've got a Pissat. My colleague's getting a spanking new A6, 2.5 V6.

We're both "software engineers", who also happen to rack up 30k+ miles
a year, and so want something with a bit of oomph, a bit of comfort,
quietish, a bit of load lugging capability, and the occasional capacity
to lug 4 of us round.

Paul was given a budget and chose the car he wanted. He could have had
a Polo with the worlds best stereo and the boss wouldn't have given a
**** so long as he could do his job in it.

Personally I like the Passat, I've tweeked it to up its power from the
130bhp a bit so it goes when I need it to, carries lots of stuff and
still goes, stereos crap though. Volvos are much better.

I don't think others give a damn nowadays, so long as you're not in a
Kia Picanto or some such poxybox, and so long as its new-ish, clean
inside & out and does the job its supposed to (which the vast majority
of cars can do nowadays in my case)

 

Champ scribbled:

Depends on the type of car / bike + gear.

For example, a Focus/Mondeo/307/407/Passat/Golf, quite possibly a
company car or family person, smaller car, maybe a little bit more
likely to be a couple & private car, bigger car, family guy with well
paid job.

The amount of influence those cars had on my opinion of those people
would be close to 0%.

Bright yellow Saxo VTS, spoilers, 50 gallon oil drum for exhaust, etc,
etc, that would influence me.

Similarily, uber expensive sports car, would influence me.

Any type of bike, mish mash of riding gear, fairly normal biker,
wouldn't influence my opinion of that person.

Immaculate sports bike + matching leathers, would influence my opinion
more. As would hardleys + tassly leathers, bitches riding in chaps.

80s and 90s I'd have agreed with you, but now cars (and their age and
spec) have become a lot less of a status symbol, and I hope there are
only a few companies still in the 90s backwaters where the staff fight
to get an 'i' on the badge.

 

The Older Gentleman scribbled:

If a customer took more notice of the car I arrived in than my
technical prowess, 1) they're a shallow knob, 2) **** em, I'm obviously
in the wrong job, working with such Shallow Hals.

 

SteveH banged the rocks together and they said :

Not immaculate though. You'll know that even after valeting any well
used car, washing the seats, carpets, etc, as best you can, they never
get back to being "really clean".

Well, maybe "Green Janitor" could get it back to A1, but it'd take a
bulk buy of toothbrushes though.
My Passat used to belong to a service guy before he was sacked - smokes
rollies (tobacco everywhere & couple of burns) and spilled something
thats left a white/grey stain on the passenger seat. (milk or yoghurt?)
Can't get the bloody stain out. Or the paint on the door trim.

 

Dan L banged the rocks together and they said :

In the "PC World - ask a techie question and they start gibbering" type
of professionalism?

There's so few sales people who actually know the goods they're selling
left now (selling to the public that is), the rest of em know **** all
and just try to get the commission. [1]

[1] I'm not referring to anyone here, cause no one here's tried selling
me anything yet!

 

Lozzo banged the rocks together and they said :

Overtaking bloody wagons doing 40mph on A/B roads?

I've never driven an Sdi but have had a couple of 895cc Polos, and
overtaking wasn't in their dictionary, unless it was followed
immediately by Death.

The Passat overtakes quite well. The Porsche almost like a sprots bike.

 

Ben banged the rocks together and they said :

Remote Desktop?

 

vulgarandmischevious banged the rocks together and they said :

Extra cost of few $ a month to keep employee <<< cost of recruiting new
employee, needed because disgruntled one has left.

 

DR banged the rocks together and they said :

 

Trains, planes and automobiles.

 

Tell that to the idiots I work for. Setting up a brand new business, aiming
for huge turnover very quickly, recruiting lots of expensive new staff. One
of the sales folk got promoted. Was due a pay review any how in October,
which she finally got in January. Did they back date the increase? Did they
****. Other, highly valued people either got nowt, or five hundred quid.
Guess how many are looking to move elsewhere?

Ali