Crap drinking injuries

Last night I went on my mate Danny's stag night in Milton Keynes with
him and a few mates. After not a lot of lagers me and a lad called Jamie
decided we'd do a bit of tightrope walking on a low rail. I got one foot
on it, decided it wasn't a good idea and stepped gently off, only I put
my left foot down right on the edge of the kerb. My foot turned under my
body and I went down sharpish. 5 hours later MK A+E let me go home on
crutches, I've torn a ligament and sprained the ankle badly. The
swelling is still coming up and the bruising is starting to show now so
I took a couple of piccies.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=12452&id=707171981&ref=share

As drinking accidents go this was a pretty lame one[1], who's got one
even more crap?

[1] Pun not intended, but it works well.

--
Lozzo
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Can't see the pics, facebook membership needed.

Not done whilst drinking, but was hungover, and in the South of France - did
it about three weeks ago.

http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/brownie/merde.jpg

Had to drive from Barcelonnette to Troyes on the day I did it, then Troyes
back home the next day.

 

Brownz (Mobile) says...

Ah, forgot about that

http://www.flickr.com/photos/78131584@N00/

--
Lozzo
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Honda CBR600 F-W
Suzuki GSX-R750L
Yamaha SR250 SpazzTrakka

 

That's a nice bit of swelling coming up there. It'll be black as the
ace of spades within 48 hours but that'll make for even more
entertaining pictures.

I did similar at The Roadmender in Northampton when I decided that it
was a good idea to jump from the railings outside down to the road
rather than walk round to the steps.

I hobbled home about 4 miles then went to A&E the next day where the
description was "shredded tendons" and 6 weeks in plaster was
prescribed as the best cure. I persuaded them that I was allergic to
plaster and would just sit with my foot strapped up and elevated for a
couple of weeks as an alternative.

I didn't actually bother with the elevation bit because I couldn't
afford to take weeks off work and I was commited to going winter
climbing in Glencoe a few days later. Mountaineering boots are a good
substitute for a plaster cast and soaking your foot in a freezing
stream outside the Clachaig reduces swelling better than elevation.

 

Clumsy ****.
I twisted my ankle (slipped off some steps) and I was sober. Took 5
months to heal properly.

 

Someone who works for me has been off work after injuring his knee
having fallen over when pissed

I can't say anything since he picked me up after I fell face first on
some gravel and cut my face up a month ago

 

Not just your wings then Batfink?

A misunderstanding about the term Japanese foot massage?

Beer then wine - you'll feel fine.
Wine then beer - you'll feel queer.
Beer with lemonade - you'll need first aid.

--

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I broke a rib during a drunken shag c. 1997.

D.

 

Lozzo wrote:

See, I initially parsed this as injuries caused by crap-drinking. Which
sounded a bit iffy.

 

platypus says...

It was crap drinking, I was on Budweiser all night because I didn't want
to get pissed.

--
Lozzo
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Fucking hell, I never thought I'd see the day.

I cannot believe they even sell that shit there.

 

Lozzo wibbled:

How'd you manage to get pissed on that stuff?

 

Buzby says...

I didn't. However, bearing in mind I haven't had a proper drink in about
4 years, it wouldn't take much to get me slaughtered. The most I've had
in one session since I gave up getting pissed is two pints of normal
lager, I don't do black russians anymore either.

--
Lozzo
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Suzuki SV650 K3
Honda CBR600 F-W
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Christ mate! I wouldn't want to be seen with a foot like that on the end of
my leg at the best of times.
Amputation I think is the only answer ;o)

--
Greybeard

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Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Lozzo

Oh, FFS. *Do* be careful, Bond.

--
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Oh, and the bag of frozen peas trick really does help turn the swelling into
bruising btw, just in case you've not done it yet.

 

I'm not telling you.

Ah, sod it, okay.

I was 16 y/o and had gone to the youth club in Shek Kong, HK. The
evening started with the usual bottles of San Mig at the bottom of the
hill accompanied by our usual ration of 30 Capstan (with filter) smoked
in 20 minutes flat.

Pissed as a parrot (I couldn't hold my drink then) we crawled up the
hill to the youth club. Now in this youth club, there was a ten pin
bowling alley (pick the pins up yersel' sort of thing) with a dividing
wall and windows in this wall. Someone asks me to open the window, so
that they could have a word with someone else on the other side.
Window's stuck, innit? So I used my elbow to open said stuck window and
put my elbow through the glass.

The anaesthetic properties of alcohol in these situations are great. I
felt nothing at all. It was only when someone said that my elbow was
pissing blood that I said, "It'll be alright, gimme a plaster."

Apparently it needed more than a plaster, so they called the duty
Sergeant to pick me up an take me to see the MO. Duty Sarge turns up, I
stagger out of the youth club straight into my Dad.

After over 20 years:
1. I still remember him grinning as he drove me to see the MO.
2. I swear that when the MO poured a complete bottle of alchol on the
wound, it was under strict orders. I still need to ask the old man
that, if he remembers.

Oh, I've got another story, but I'm not telling you that one, as I
could lose some _serious_ street cred.

--
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<squints>

 

Tell him not to shove it up so far next time.


--
Beav

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Doing a similar sort of thing walking back from the bar(s) at Brands
Hatch one year, (well, ten years ago to be exact), and trying to be
clever and not wear my elastic support as long as I should have done
when I stepped into a rabbit hole with my right foot, lost my balance,
and my left foot, being quite badly ill at the time, decided to throw a
wobbler and fracture and dislocate itself at the same time. Presumably
to let me know that it still wasn't a well bunny.


Will there be anyone about at Pixie central next Sunday? I might be in
need of a tea-break on the way back from Lundon )

--
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