Criminal behavior...[long]

....was performed on the way home from the Snetterton round of the KRC the
month before last.

It involved a tired and irritable me, a sleeping Suze and an undercover
policeman. Oh, and a leaden right foot...
:-(

Copper: "Hye was proceedin' in a suvverly direction on the Hem Heleven
motorway near little 'Allingbury when I hespied a silver Haudi motor
vehicle, registration mark Y** ***. I hestimated his speed to be in
hexcess of 70 miles per hower."

The rest, as they say, is "'Istory."

As to the particulars, I got tugged (fnarr!) for 104.5mph by an unmarked,
black Mondeo with VASCAR. The following hours and days were spent sending
various worried emails to certain parties in the know, worrying some more,
and then realising and accepting I was fucked. I then waited for the
inevitable.

The inevitable arrived in a plain brown envelope about two weeks ago with
a formal (but cheap looking) invitation to appear before various notaries
in Essex, today.

I arrived early, smartly dressed and with all my requested documents in
good order. The appointed time wasn't 'til 11am, so I checked in with
security and took a seat whilst Suze went to find some coffees for us.
Expecting a forty minute wait, I was a little taken aback when the usher
called my name within 5 minutes of my taking a seat.

"Erk!" I thought. A brief chat with said usher to ensure I had all my
bits and pieces were in order and I was then ushered (ahem) into Court
number 2.

Discretely surveying the room on entry and taking in the bench with the
three magistrates, the Clerk of the Court and another defendant of another
case, I took my seat at the back and waited to be called.

The guy ahead of me obviously enjoyed prison food or taking it up the arse
or summat 'cause he was having (/he/ thought) a right old ding-dong with
the bench as to why he'd not (seemingly not for the first time) brought
his licence to court, appeared at the local nick, missed probationary
appointments, etc. and was far more concerned with having to be in
Colchester for 11 o'clock rather than the immediate and more pressing
situation he was already in.

"Look, mate," (to the female presiding magistrate), "I've got a job to do,
you've got a job to do, less get vis ovah an' we can all get on wiv it,
ay?"

I wanted to roll my eyes but thought it better to just stare fixedly at
the bit of carpet immediately between my feet.

After five or so minutes of "banter", it was clear that our friend had far
more important things to do than argue the toss with some mug judge, so
they ask him to sit to one side whilst they get on with other things.

"Uh-oh..." I thought, "This is going to be one quick appearance..."

And indeed, it was. Polite mode, meek and remorseful mode; on.

Long story foreshortened; pleaded guilty in advance and stood in the dock
looking suitably stupid and sorry. Net result? 6 points and £150 fine
with £35 in costs.

*cough*

The magistrate, immediately before passing sentence, did remark that she
was, on the evidence provided, in a position to ban me (which I knew). She
didn't.

Thank you ma'am.

Typically, my insewerants runs out at the end of the week and, given that
I'd already booked today off for my little jaunt to Harlow and we'd
finished in good time, I intended to spend the rest of the afternoon going
through MCN and ringing all the InsCos up for a quote to beat H&R's.

I started by ringing H&R, mind. After a jolly little chat with the nice
lady in Aberdeen, my latest adornment to my licence only costs me an extra
£50.

The remainder of the afternoon was divided betwenn speaking to
mouth-breathing morons and a few very helpful people. End result was I
managed to get a better quote than H&R could manage although net, I'm
still out of pocket on the insurance front due to the InsCos generally
seeming to have tightened up on garage-less bikes.
:-(

[1] Ok, not strictly true -- artistic licence, etc...

 

And having an arrogant twat go in to court before you can't hurt.

--
Alex
SRX 400

"I laugh in the face of danger"

"Then I hide until it goes away"

www.drzoidberg.co.uk

 

Bwahahaha.

 

You're a bad bad boy, you did the right thing and you got a right
result there, big fella ;-)

Nice one - now gan a bit canny, eh?

 

Nice result

Oh, and do you check your voicemail on thecompany phone?




--

Mark

ZZR1200, KTM LC4

SBS#21

I am dyslexic of Borg, reluctance is futile, prepare to be arse laminated
Reply to Blackratattukrmdottnet

www.motard.co.uk

 

<G> It must be that baby face of yours.

 

Erk.

Never mind the footnote fairies, I've been visited by the random footnote
insertion squad.

Should have been after my "Copper" diatribe.

 

Heh, nope, iss nacheral, innit?

Well, quite.

Umm, <thinks> "Of course, officer."

 

Quite.

 

Swot I fort, too.

Why aye, mun!

 

Erk. Just did. Will call you tomorrow, eh?

 

<VBG>

TBH, I did feel a proper tit when I got caught by a black, unmarked
Mondeo. The copper himself was possibly taking into account that despite
I'd whanged it up to eek! mph over a couple of miles, I was in control and
wasn't driving like a complete tool.

When sat in the car he explained that he'd calculated my speed at 104.5mph
over two miles and asked if I had anything to say I said "No; it's timed
over distance, isn't it. No excuse, sorry."

I was /hugely/ surprised he only asked me for my licence not my other docs
(not that there's 'owt wrong with 'em, mind).

Hey ho.

 

Indeed. Several people reckoned it was a ban for me, myself included. I
was further "encouraged" on Friday last when chatting with someone at work
who mentioned they'd got a 14 day ban for 104.1mph on the M11...

On the insewerants front, I asked about my new adornment of a couple of
them and they both reckoned that it made bugger all difference (it did;
£50!). What I mean is that whether I have 3 points or 11, it seems not to
matter much for speeding offences, they're more concerned about shit like
D&D and other more serious naughtiness, etc.

One cheeky mare at Motorcycle-Direct, IIRC, asked if I'd been banned in
the last 11 years!

 

AAARGHH!

What a mental image! Nurse! Nurse!

 

They must think the sun shines out of his arse...

 

But don't drive afterwards!

 

Better find out where Merlin is going, and anyone with a hearing coming up
make sure they get behind him :=}

 

Bah - speeding's the crime of the century now, haven't you heard?

 

"Wik"

Now isn't that odd? Insurance companies, who assess the
likelyhood of a claim, thus an accident, consider speed
a far less likely cause of such than DD. Maybe one should
point that out to the speed kills lobby?

 

Well she's available and probably gagging for it by now.

<thinks> Does she have false teeth?