FOAK: Cairo

For hotels, I can stay near the Pyramids, which might be nice for one
sunset, but then I'm 10miles from the city. Else I can stay in the city
and do a day trip to the Pyramids, and benefit(?) from being in the city -
if it's worth it.

Any tips for spotting unscrupulous taxi drivers?

I already know that you need to keep hold of your suitcase, as someone
will either wander off with it, or carry it for you and charge you to hand
it back.

 

they'll be in cars with "Taxi" written on them.

 

Having been there 7 times in the last 7 years for work (about 4 months
in total), I've pretty much got it off pat now. My last visit was in
March.

When you get to the airport, they prefer hard cash for the visa (read:
they don't like to accept Egyptian currency) such as dollars, UK pounds
or euros.

There's a Mövenpick right next door to the Pyramids, literally across
the road. Otherwise, there are a few nice hotels (5 star) next to the
Nile, in the centre of Cairo. What is your budget though?

When visiting the pyramids, ignore every fscking bugger that approaches
you. They're all thieving bastards. There are no 'official' tour guides
(even if one bloke points out another), unless you go with a
pre-arranged group. If you do fall foul of a dodgy tourist guide, give
him EGP20 and not the "$100 per person that Merkins give him. Even if
he does have 4 wives and 1000 children to feed". If he gets arsey, walk
away.

Basically, the general rule to follow, is decide on a price beforehand.
Always.

The Pyramids are normally paying to get in and see. However, every so
often, after terrorist attacks, they waive the entrance fees. Same for
the Egyptian museum in Cairo. Go to the museum, it's excellent (the
mummy room is an extra payment, IIRC).

If you hire a car, drive like they do. One hand on the steering wheel,
one on the horn. Be aggressive, as you won't get anywhere otherwise. If
you drive at night (or outside Cairo) be prepared for other vehicles to
not use their lights at all or be on side-lights. They'll flash you or
beep you, if you use your lights.

For a journey from the airport to the hotel, it'll be around EGP50, as
it's normally arranged through the hotels. If you can get the hotel to
pick you up, all the better. They all have shuttle buses, IIRC.

You'll see that half of the taxis are in a abominable state. One that I
got in, had a hole in the passenger foot well that I could have put my
feet through. Pay cheap. And I mean cheap. Short trips should cost you
about EGP2 and medium trips around EGP5 to EGP10. Don't pay *anything*
over EGP20 around Cairo and be prepared to shout and argue. If fact,
check the price before you get in the taxi, that way you won't be
shafted. If they tell you it's over EGP20, haggle or walk away. Expect
them to chase after you. You really have to tell them what you want to
pay, not what they want.

Some taxi's have meters, but they either don't use these or they don't
work.

Tell all porters to **** off and tell them that you can manage nicely,
thank you.

When buying trinkets from people in the street, convert 1 for 1. i.e.
if they ask for $5, you offer EGP5. In the Souk, be prepared for hard
haggling.

If you want to buy a shisha, don't buy it in the Souk but somewhere
else. I picked up 2 normal ones and a diddy one for ¤15. If you come
out of the Souk and walk up the road, uphill, there's a little shisha
shop that won't charge you the same prices as the Souk.

Even better, if you know any Egyptians, get them to do the haggling
work for you.

The only problem with Cairo, are the Egyptians. You'll have to have an
aggressive attitude when dealing with everything touristy. For tourists
that have a weak willed character, they get shafted all the time. You
have to show people that you are the boss. If you don't like something,
tell them.

Is this post legible and does it make sense? I know so much about Cairo
and Egypt that I could wibble on for ages... Drop me an email, if
you've got other questions.

 

You're not really Maltese, you're Pakistani.

 

You know when you try and do a crap Pakistani accent, and it ends up
sounding Welsh, and vice versa?

Well, I've recently employed a guy who's parents are from Pakistan,
but who was born and raised in Wales.

His accent's near undescribable.

 

Get him to stand at a window and have a wank.

 

I think that's on the list of things that Muslims[1] get offended by.

[1] unlike the majority of the /French/ Muslims I work with, this guy
doesn't even drink alcohol!

 

Heh, why?

 

Fire him.

 

<drums fingers>

 

It's not because I object to paying. IIRC, it was only EGP25 to get in.

But some people are under the misnomer that it's not a free site to get
in and see.

 

Heh, that's very true. I've only know of one or two that stick to the
rules in France.

 

That's unusual for you - using the wrong word.

I know I know, LITSTPN.

 

Very legible and made sense. I've done trips to Hurghada for diving, but
it's all been on a liveaboard, so I have naff all knowledge of being in
the tourist areas.

 

So basically it's free to wander around the outside etc, and there *might*
be a fee to go inside depending on how many Europeans have been blown to
bits recently?

 

might make me look bad - I hired him 2 months ago, and he's getting on
OK.

 

most of them here will have a glass of wine or a beer, though I was
very surprised once, on the Eurostar with my then boss, who's Muslim -
I asked for a glass of Champagne and a bottle of Chablis. I expected
him to maybe go for a beer, but no : "Large gin and tonic, please".

 

it's just a spelling mistake - I'm not infallible.

 

"whoosh of the week".

 

ITYM "whooshing of the week"