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I still think that a big single is the only way to do it because the
power delivery is perfect for the job and you're not revving **** out
of the engine on the better sections where you can ride at over 60mph.

I'll happily offer advice to anyone wanting to try it for themself
because the biggest thing we were missing was someone to tell us what
to expect. You encounter so many different road conditions in a short
space of time and you can ride around a corner into strong sidewinds
that try to bang you across the road before you know what's going on,
this isn't good when trucks are bombing along there at 50mph or over
and there's nowhere to escape.

 

Hmmm - low power, light weight, and flatfoot stabilisers are usually
a good idea on the slippy stuff.
How much of the journey was on non-slippy high speed motorways ?.

 

My pieces of advice (without careful consideration)

- New chain
- New tyres
- Plenty of studs (one per block)
- Keep luggage down to a minimum and keep it low.
- Once you're past where the ice roads start (Grong in our case) don't
plan on more than 100km per day unless you're willing to do high speeds
on ice.
- Get a good idea in advance of where you can stop.
- Wear something on your feet that keeps feet warm
- Don't wear an arai tour-x helmet since it ices up.
- Take a breath deflector of some type
- Make sure your sunglasses dont fall apart
- Take an enduro style bike ready to be dropped and that will drop well.
- Take spare tubes since tyre shops wont have them
- Take tyre slime and a tyre inflator (driven from the bike battery)
- Make sure your bike battery is in good condition
- Give your bike a good going over with ACF50 before you go
- Fill every electrical connector with appropriate grease
- Really, really, really consider some sort of a helmet mounted video
camera

And most importantly... allow plenty of time and if the weather's too
cold be willing to sit it out for a day or so.

 

Low power isn't a good idea. Moderate power is.

You have from Oslo to Grong (in our case) which was mostly free of ice
which I think was about 450 miles before we hit the really hard stuff.

On the route from Oslo to Grong (and back again) we were struggling into
head and side winds a lot of the time, I wouldn't want an asthmatic bike
for this.

Enduro styled singles of 400cc plus are probably the best way to go.
Alex got on best on his GS, but he's special.

 

Low power and luggage is a disaster waiting to happen because you'd be
ragging **** out of the bike on the better sections and it wouldn't be
able to cope. Riding with your feet down is something you only do when
you absolutely have to and that's not very often so your theories are
pretty crap.

There was very little motorway and what there was usually had a nice
layer of slush or ice on it.

A small bike like a GN250 would not be a good idea. Clearer now?

 

I rode in the snow with my feet down from the start of the M1 to J5 and I
was fucked for about two days afterwards. That was only about ten miles
and I certainly wouldn't want to do any more than that.

 

I think you mean "Me too"

 

So here it is.

This is only my view of the trip and what I remember of it, I can't be
bothered with detailing miles ridden or fuel consumption so if you
want that sort of thing you'd better hope the others supply it or go
yourself.

I left home on the Friday afternoon, met up with Alex & Mark and
headed off along the A14 towards Harwich. Very strong winds gave the
bike a battering and made riding uncomfortable but we got there ok and
boarded the ferry pretty soon afterwards.

Expensive beer and a meal wasted the evening efficiently enough then
breakfast and what seemed like a long wait until we docked in Denmark.

The ride to Frederikshavn is a long & boring one with the only
excitement being when the winds hit you side on and you struggle to
convince yourself that the next one won't have you into the armco. It
was a bit chilly but not really what you'd describe as cold so no long
stops to warm up were needed.

We dined out at a Chinese buffet restaurant and drank a reasonable
amount of beer before retiring for the night looking forward to
getting to Norway and what I looked on as the real beginning of the
trip.

Oh dear. Sunday was a disaster for me with what I thought was a minor
hangover ending up being a day of puking and crapping to a level where
I seriously doubted that I'd be able to manage the 80 mile ride to our
overnight stop. Puking on the car deck and being unable to load the
bike without stopping and sitting down every couple of minutes doesn't
fill you with confidence.

The ride to Hamar was pretty dire with poor visibility, lots of slush
and a long stretch of roadworks making it very hard work. We got split
up when Steves bike threw its chain and Mark helped him refit it then
when we reached Hamar it was -13c and the roads were covered in thick
ice & snow. No studs fitted yet...

We all made it by about 10:30 and retreated to bed with plans to track
down a bike dealer the next morning and see what we could do to
salvage the trip.

We found a Yamaha dealer who said they'd have a chain on the Tuesday
morning so we booked in for another night, fitted studs and generally
relaxed for the day. This was good for me because I was still feeling
pretty rough and the bug I'd caught was obviously spreading because
Alex spent a couple of hours that night chatting to the big white
telephone.

We loaded up and set off to the bike shop where we found a very
friendly Norwegian who cracked on with fitting a new chain straight
away and after less than an hour we were ready to set off for the R3
and our proposed route north.

The roads weren't brilliant with patches where they were snow covered
and patches where there was a ribbon of lightly iced tarmac you could
follow but we made pretty good time over the plateau with the only
stops being for fuel and a warm drink. The weather steadily
deteriorated until it was borderline white-out and we were all pretty
pleased to see a petrol station where we stopped to warm up and ask
about camp sites. This was a good move because the cashier phoned his
neighbour and got us into a hut 10 minutes ride up the road.

This place was a real bargain at 750 Krone per night so we all
squeezed in there, cooked a meal and sat down to drink whatever came
to hand. Then Mark puked up and raised concerns that he'd caught the
same bug and was going to be in a right state within a few hours.

Wednesday morning dawned with fresh snow, low temperatures and Mark
feeling better so we loaded up to join the E6 and try to get some time
back. There were a few minutes of concern when Steves bike wouldn't
start and I couldn't get the ignition key into the lock on my bike but
WD40 on his plug cap and a warm rag around my locked solved the
problems and we finally got going.

The road to the E6 was pretty crap but we made it to the main road
intact and rode as fast as we could until we were past Trondheim where
we stopped in a place called Hell. How very apt.

Going north from Hell saw the end of dual carriageway and the
reappearance of ice covered roads but we made steady progress through
the day until the roads changed to being sheet ice with a snow
covering and after Simon had gone for a lie down we decided to camp
before it got dark. This turned out to be something of an error...

We'd stopped outside a house on the main road and sent Alex & Simon to
negotiate with the owner regarding the possibility of us parking up
and camping right there. We'd only been there a couple of minutes when
a Norwegian trucker decided not to bother slowing down as he passed us
and ended up panicking a woman in a VW with the result being she ended
up in a snowdrift and he clipped her van as he went past.

Initially the pair of them tried to blame us for the accident but we
insisted they phoned the local plod and settled down to wait. It took
about 2 hours for plod to arrive by which time we'd got the tents up
and were well settled in but he instantly told us we were in no way at
fault, took our names and addresses and buggered off. I don't know who
was blamed for the accident but we all backed the woman up in her
claim that she had nowhere to go and she seemed very happy when she
left so I guess it the decision went her way.

The camping was fine, it was cold but everyone slept well so we just
had a brew in the morning and loaded up to go.

It got a bit messy very quickly with Mark being the first faller and
Steve having to go one better dropping his bike twice in quick
succession. The roads were icy with a corrugated surface but we kept
going at what seemed a reasonable pace. We knew we wouldn't make our
target of Mo I Rana that night so stopped in Mosjoen and asked at the
tourist office what was available in the way of accommodation. This
was another success and we were directed to an apartment with decent
parking and plenty of room for all of us so there we stopped.

More beer drinking and a fairly early night left us again expecting a
good day and we were all confident we'd get to the Arctic Circle and
camp the next night.

Unfortunately the next morning saw a pretty severe drop in temperature
but we loaded up and headed off to fuel up before leaving town. It was
immediately obvious that visor icing was going to be a problem for 3
of us and as the road gained altitude the conditions worsened. I tried
riding with my visor open but that left my glasses icing up and I
could feel my cheeks freezing so I pulled the visor down until it was
almost shut and peered through the mess.

We realised we'd lost Steve so pulled over to wait and I decided to
remove the pinlock from my visor because I'd wiped it with a gloved
finger and just spread the ice everywhere. Alex headed back to find
Steve while we fucked about clearing visors and that's when I *really*
fucked up.

I'd knocked the lead for my heated gloves out as we left the petrol
station so my fingers were already chilled and I decided to remove my
gloves to take my visor off. This took about 5 minutes to sort out and
in that time my fingers became frost 'nipped' though I didn't realise
this until later. When I went to put my outer gloves back on again
some of the fingers had frozen and I couldn't get them on properly so
I decided that not being able to see the road and having problems with
my gloves made it too dangerous and I was going back to Mosjoen.

Everyone knows what happened next and really it's only for the 5 of us
to decide what we should and shouldn't have done but it was decided
that one person riding back alone was crazy so we all went.

I threw my bike into a snowdrift at about 20mph on the way back but it
didn't even fall over completely so I put my foot into the drift and
hauled the bike upright before setting off back to the apartment.

We booked ourselves back in where the others discussed what they
wanted to do but by now I'd realised I'd got frost damage to the tips
of seven fingers/thumbs and I wasn't going to make it worse by riding
any further than home. More beers led us to decide to spend the
Saturday celebrating Alex & Simons birthdays so that's what we did.

Sunday morning we loaded up and headed south with Grong being the
rough goal where we'd search for somewhere to stop. The roads had
either improved slightly or I'd just got used to them so we cracked on
and apart from a few very cold sections and Steve hitting the floor
again it was pretty uneventful.

We did our usual bit in Grong and headed for the tourist office who
put us onto a hostel where we settled in to eat, drink and talk shit.

Monday the plan was to just get as many miles done as possible with
the probable goal being Kvikne where we'd stopped in the hut on our
way north. We ended up being separated when Steve had a front tyre
puncture so I sat around smoking while Steve & Mark fixed the puncture
and the other two headed on oblivious to our problems.

We caught up with each other at a petrol station and set off for
Trondheim to see if we could find an air pump to try and blast some
pressure into Steves tyre and get it to seat properly but failed
miserably so phoned Kvikne, sorted the hut and off we went.

Tuesday morning we knew we should get to Hamar and try to get in the
same hotel quite early and sort out food/alcohol. We'd probably only
gone 20 miles with Steve & I separated from the others by a truck
when we went round a corner to see a tanker stopped at an angle across
the road, bikes parked up and people wandering around. We stopped to
find that Alex had taken a fall but both he and the bike were fine so
we'd struck lucky again.

Simon & Alex headed off into the distance with the rest of us pootling
along at about 50mph due to concerns about Steves dodgy front tyre
letting go again. It got cold again and the roads were pretty icy so
we stopped off to warm up and try to find out where the others were.
Steves phone suggested they were only about 10 miles up the road and
had been for quite a while so that meant they were either at a petrol
station or had a problem.

They'd had a problem; Simon had lost it and ended up in a snow bank
and though he was unhurt the bike wouldn't start. After I'd gone a
couple of hundred yards ahead (round a corner) to sit with my hazard
lights on the others finally limped the bike around the corner and
made it to a bus turn-in to try and find out why it was running like a
dog.

Steve & I were despatched to secure a hotel room and left the others
to deal with the bike issue. The roads were becoming steadily worse
because it was snowing and that was settling on already ice coated
roads. We took it pretty steady and got to the hotel about 30 minutes
before the others but I think we were all pretty relieved to be there.

We knew we'd got plenty of time to get to Oslo so in the morning Steve
took his front wheel to a tyre dealer where they removed his old tube,
fitted a new one and made sure the tyre was seated properly then we
all set off for the overnight ferry. We'd not gone far when it became
evident that Simon was going to have to replace the front mudguard
he's smashed in the crash the day before so the lads set to with
plastic bottles, cable ties and gaffer tape and made a new front
section.

The ride to Oslo was better than the ride up over a week earlier but
only because it was daylight. We took it steady and after one mistake
reached the ferry terminal with enough time to remove tyre studs if we
wanted to.

The ferry between Oslo & Frederikshavn is basically a booze cruise and
we had some entertaining moments but overall it was a bit of a
non-event compared to the puke fest on the outward journey.

Frederikshavn had a healthy amount of fresh snow when we arrived but
once we were out of the ferry terminal it was ok and we eventually
ended up doing our own thing all the way to Esbjerg with Steve having
another puncture causing him an hour or two of worrying whether or not
he'd make the ferry.

That's it really. We all made it home safely and all the bikes made it
so I suppose we can count it as a success. I certainly learned a lot
about riding bikes in shit conditions and overall I enjoyed myself so
that makes it worth doing.

I couldn't have asked to have gone with a better group of guys which
is always an important thing when you take on something like this and
I was really pleased with the way the Tenere coped with the
conditions.

I think we were all a bit overloaded but not as much as some seem to
think. If I did it again I wouldn't take cooking kit or a petrol lamp
but I'd still take a sleeping bag and my small bivvy tent in case of
emergencies.

I wouldn't use leather gloves even though mine are heated because
once they get cold the leather freezes and causes a problem. I'd get
myself a pair of heated inner gloves and use them inside the best
synthetic outers I could buy plus I'd use heated socks but otherwise
my kit worked pretty well. Maybe if we'd had more time we might have
waited a day on the big push for the Arctic Circle but that's
hindsight and you can't know if it's going to improve or actually get
worse.

Trelleborg Army Special tyres are rubbish on tarmac at motorway speeds
but once they're studded and on ice they're perfect for the job
because they stay fairly soft. Scottoiler gave us some special low
temperature oil to test out for them and it worked ok so our chains
didn't give any problems. I'd been slightly worried about the battery
on the Tenere being up to the job but the bike started straight away
every morning and once warmed up it was fine.

I'll probably think of more to post later but the others will be
giving their versions at some point so all will become clear with the
passage of time. Will I have another go? Not next year but maybe the
year after. Personally I'd find it a shit or bust situation if I went
back straight away and I know from going away on climbing & caving
trips abroad that it's better to give it a break then go back with no
pressure rather than getting obsessed with a specific goal.

I think a return to the Elefant will do me for next winter because I
really enjoy that weekend and if a few others can get themselves
motivated we might all meet up. I'll not be posting an open invite to
go but if I decide to do it I'll email the usual suspects and see what
we can do.

 

Thanks for that, and a thank you to the whole group who provided some
much needed motorcycle related diversion for me during what has been
a very long and boring winter off the bike.

 

Observing from afar it seemed to me that you all did a decent amount of
preparation for the trip.

Before you went I really wasn't paying that much attention, and like
many on here have said I'm also too nesh/lazy/skint/wimpish/averse to
long ferry rides to have attempted it.

I thought you were going on some kind of uber-elefant and there would be
a whole lot of others to meet up with - I really, really hadn't
appreciated how far you were intending to ride and for what it's worth
well done from me to all.

I'm sure you found this
http://www.mc-addict.com/aguidetowinterriding.htm link before you went
but it led me to this one http://www.rykogreis.com/ (run it through
google translate) where he appeared to get there all on his own on a
GS1000? Nutter.

Did you get to see any Norvern Lights is what I want to know?

 

Worrabout a support vehicle?

 

Hats off and the deepest of respectful bows to the five of you. It was
an astonishing enterprise, meticulously planned, and thank you (all) for
your preparation and journey reports.

 

Not a fucking chance.

It's obviously a tempting idea but not one that I'd go for.

 

I'd run the support vehicle if I could get a Kettenkrad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SdKfz_2

 

The camera crew have to ride in something, all you need is a suitable
sponsor who think they an make money from the TV rights.

 

an R1150GS, you mean? Ridden by a fat loon, not a fat poof, obviously.

 

Indeed.

 

I'm looking for another Yamaha XT600E. I was just outbid (£20!) on one
the other night.

Eek.

 

"Some salt". Ffs, it's hardly surprising Volvo & Saab did some serious
rustproofing decades ago.

 

<Mega snip>

**** me.

What's the Number One thing you did that you wouldn't do again, and
equally what's the Number One thing you didn't do that you should have?
Looks like all the bases were covered, really.