I have a new job

And this one is going to make you piss yourselves laughing when you
hear the job title.

Tutor in Motorcycle Mechanics.

Yes, I start a new job as tutor at a local project for challenging
young people on Sept 3rd, teaching them basic maintenance and repair.
I've known for a while that the job is mine subject to enhanced CRB
checks being satisfactory, and now I now for definite I'm telling you
lot. The young people I'll be working with are the ones who have
problems fitting in at school, some have learning difficulties, play
truant and generally misbehave or abscond/get excluded. I've done a
few days work voluntary so far and so far over all it's been great
fun, if a little stressful at times. Most of them won't go to school
at all, but they are queuing up to get in before the doors are open at
9am, and when 4pm comes it's a job to get them to leave.

Best of all, they pay me good money - for that I work on bikes, have a
laugh, get paid to take the students to the gym and I can make use of
all the facilities, and we have our own motocross track where I get
paid to ride round all day building my off-road skills. The Project
are also funding me through all courses needed to gain various
teaching and social services qualifications and ACU instructor status.
Life doesn't get much better than this.

Oh... and I'll be working with a particularly nice ex-girlfriend of
mine as well, which is a bonus.

 

£10.00 says you date a student before Xmas

 

You are Arthur Fonzarelli AICMFF SOTriumphs.

 

£20 says he fucked his way into the job.
Obviously that is as it should be!

Well done that Spic.

 

As all of the students are male, and I am 100% hetero, I don't think
so.

 

Not a chance, and I won't be screwing my way to the top either.

Thank you

 

Thank you, Arnold.

 

Women in positions of power like to take hard from behind. Usually.
Apparently.

It sounds *remarkably* well sorted

 

Nice one.

 

wrote in @y42g2000hsy.googlegroups.com:

<snip working with young people>

Congrats on the new job. I work with kids from similar backgrounds, only
all genders

I don't know you very well but I reckon you will be good at it. You have a
sense of humour and a sterner side. You'll need both to deal with the
inevitable situations. It will be hard learning which face is best for a
particular situation and remembering that your natural instincts[1] are
restricted by the Children Act. Stick with it as it gets easier after a few
months.

[1] twatting the fuckers

 

Well, I got the job after I took a lesson, it was a part of the
interview process. There was one particular lad who kept butting in
and threatening to dominate the whole scene and I was at odds as to
how to deal with him yet keep him engaged. In the end I just told him
to shut the **** up, in those words, and he did. From that moment he
was an active contributor to the lesson without taking it over, and
everyone else was happier too because they were learning without
distractions.

After the lesson was finished I walked out of the classroom and into
the office, aplogised to the boss then started getting kitted up to go
knowing I'd really screwed up my chances, that's when he turned round
and said I handled the lad in the only way he understands and that's
what he responds to - being nice doesn't work. It was that what got me
the job, and I thought I'd completely blown it.

I'm not good at twatting kids, I never had to with my own and I don't
believe it works with other people's. Half of these youngsters come
from abusive or broken backgrounds, so it'd be counter-productive
anyway - the project is there to give them some stability where they
can feel wothwhile and be treated like human beings, not to be like
their shitty homelives.

 

Is it me or has the world just gone utterly fucking mad?

Enjoy.

 

And you are set on introducing them to The Dark Side? Have you no
conscience man?

 

wrote in

Heh. I swear at the kids at times. Much the same as I do with my own 16
year old. Some of my colleagues are uncomfortable with this and it has been
brough to my attention during appraisals. However, I'm the one who many of
the kids open up to about issues because, "you don't talk to me like I'm 7
years old."

There's an NVQ budding in the paragraph above...

I would never twat a kid, obviously. However, in my work in residential
care, you have a number of bolshie kids who emotionally and physically
bully some of the staff, because they know they won't get hit. If a kid
hurts someone the only recourse is to use the criminal justice system. This
is of course right and proper but takes an age to have any effect. Every
now and then the thought crosses your mind that a simple bloodied nose
would nip the thing in the bud. Then, 24 hours later you are best mates
again and toddling off to the carp ponds...

 

"Those who can, do"...

You should feel right at home!

Well done, sounds like you've really landed on your feet this time.

Always helps. Best of luck!

 

and learn to snip, irono-twat

 

You know, in a just world, as you are so bitchy, you should be gay. And
single, obviously...

 

So good I named me twice

Cheers

 

She's not going to be my boss, she's part-time admin staff..

 

"Those that do it well, teach"

Cheers for the good wishes, mate