I'm lost for words. Islington Parking Services bites back

I work for a large company and know that letters to the MD are read
and sorted out by someone else. I've done it myself.

The thing is, the correct identity of the person on the PCN is me,
because they wrote down my registration mark.

Draft 1 (sadly never sent) of my reply to the first PCN last year
looked something like:

""
Yes, my dear, the DVLA may well have given you the details of who uses
EO02 MYK - my plate - but if actually look at the fucking photo
through your four semi-evolved beady little eyes you'll notice the
registration mark of the cunting car in question is EU02 MYK you dried
up barren shadow of an old buck-toothed hag.

I wish you a lifetime of unhappiness and hope you die of a chronic
swelling seeping fanny disorder.

Kindest Regards,

Nick Mooney D.D.
""

(NSFW) <http://www.ns400r.co.uk/ns400r/gallery/sara-ns400r.jpg> It
looks tiny! I only just fit on the ER-5! Are you trying to get me
killed?

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, WavyDavy belched forth and ejected the following:

Heh

Touche

 

SO why waste the time?

Ah, yes. Noted approximately 10 seconds before you posted this reply.....
try changing it to "ARE YOU *SURE* YOU'VE GOT THE REG. NUMBER RIGHT?" and
get that solicitor who's always getting people off speeding on the case -
I'm sure he'll be up for a non win/no fee case what with the extra publicity
after you tell the Daily Mail and MCN that you've hired him to go to court
to sort out some "loony left" council....

But the NS4 is *quality*... If a bit old. And that bird's a giant - her
tits are bigger than Lea's you know (and don't tell me you don't watch Big
Brother! - You've got to be smack bang in their target audience)

Dave

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
will not

Just a couple of suggestions!

 

<snip>


Way too long and too much bile.

Below is a subbed version:

Dear Ms. Bailey,

This letter is in reference to Penalty Charge Notice (PCN) IS1111
which has been mistakenly issued to the incorrect vehicle registration
number on 9th May '06.

You have already incorrectly accused me of parking illegally in your
borough f and awarded me a goodwill'gesture in relation to PCN IS0000.
Check your files

Now you have done it again. I suggest you look at the paperwork relating
to this ticket and learn the difference between the registration numbers
EU02 MYK and EO02 MYK.

It's becoming increasingly difficult not to take this personally. What
are the odds of this happening to the same car and being billed to me
twice by two different wardens?

This is absolutely my last correspondence on this matter. Should you be
unwise enough to pursue me for this fine, I shall gladly see you in
court. It will cost you thousands. Should you have been additionally
unwise enough to call in the bailiffs, I shall initiate a defamation
action against you, and I assure you - I will win and it will cost you
many more thousands.

Now, please find enclosed my invoice for £25 for my time and trouble
(this being the sum you last paid me as a goodwill gesture). I expect
speedy settlement, or I shall take this matter up personally with XXXX,
who agreed my previous settlement.

 

Don't waste your time.

 

I'd agree, except that I'd give them *one* chance to redeem themselves.
See my suggested letter.

 

I see where you're coming from, but AFAICT they had their chance to deal
with it over the phone. Definitely no more than one chance, though.
--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

You really ought to think about writing this up for one of the bike rags.
And when it happens again (as it surely will), write it up again. This
could be a nice regular income.

 

Tell her to look at /her/ photograph, and /her/ ticket, and decide for
herself if there's any discrepancy, and then decide for herself if she wants
to take further action. If she still wants to proceed, you'll see her in
court, and the court will explain things to her. And she'll be named as a
material witness by your solicitor.

 

I particularly like these two paragraphs. However I'd up the £25
"charge" as we are now in "beyond a joke" territory.

The letter should be short and to the point. It should also not be
overly emotional or personal - no matter how fucking angry the author
feels.

 

"BGN"wrote with great vengance and furious anger
.....

Just done a check on your registration number... this is what show's up...

Vehicle Details1 for registration number EU02MYK
Make
VAUXHALL
Year of manufacture
2002
Model
ZAFIRA 16V CLUB
Engine size(CC)
1598


Ooopsie.... somethings not quite right somewhere mate

Mick

 

Just done a check on your registration number... this is what show's up...

No, Nick's reg is EO02MYK.

The **** who's causing him grief has EU02MYK.

The error is the blind cunts looking at the photos in IPS's archives
and whathaveyou.

 

He didn't state person, he stated vehicle.

Ooh look what I found..

http://www.rac.co.uk/web/carbuying/vehicle_data_search/;jsessionid=2E6D7
E946879BC993621FE99CFEB79E1

They need to employ someone wiva clue...

--
Lesley
CBR600FW
SBS#11 (with oak-leaf cluster)
BOTAFOT#101A UKRMHRC#12
BONY#54P BOB#18
Real burds don't take hormones, they rage naturally

 

That's the same rag that trotted out the same bile about the TT
marshalls this week, then. Gosh, they've been busy putting people
'undercover' 2 years on the run to find exactly the same problems.

No wonder I stopped buying it years ago, bloody sensationalist shite.

--
Lesley
CBR600FW
SBS#11 (with oak-leaf cluster)
BOTAFOT#101A UKRMHRC#12
BONY#54P BOB#18
Real burds don't take hormones, they rage naturally

 

The Older Gentleman wrote:

Too much "you" and "yours".

subbed

 

On Wed, 7 Jun 2006 21:24:24 +0100,

I'm sure it'll appear anyway, UKRM seems to be a good source for their
publication.

 

I will write him a glowing reference.

 

On Wed, 7 Jun 2006 21:20:10 +0100,

Thanks. I've gone with a slighly modified version of it. Fits
happily on a sheet of A4.

 

<snip>

Yup, better still.