Is anyone watching ITV1?

Fucking new romantic heaven. They've done all the good ones. Depeche
Mode is on now.

 

What? Like they'd admit to it on here.
I cant recall willfully watching anything on ITV for at least 20
years.

--
ColonelTupperware,
spouting bollocks on Usenet since 1997
Usenet FAQ at
http://www.its.caltech.edu/its/services/internetapps/news/news2.shtml
UPCE FAQ at http://upce.org.uk/ UKRM FAQ at http://www.ukrm.net/faq/

 

Fair comment. I can't imagine a bunch of hairy arsed bikers admitting
liking Duran Duran et al.

 

Not forgetting.......

Visage
OMD
Depeche Mode
Japan
Heaven 17
ABC
Human League
Howard Jones
Fergal Sharkey

I'm going now.....
--
Vass
................................................
Now: YZF-R1, CBR1100xx-x
Then: A100, MBX80, XL125, CB400, FZR600, CBR600Fv
http://www.naldernet.plus.com/index2.html

 

They were all good. They had Photograph on there last night by Flock of
seagulls as well. Classic.

In fact, the first record I ever bought was Cars by Gary Numan and the
Pleasure Principle being the first album I ever bought. £4.99 from
Woolies.

 

I've got albums by all of the above, I think (although H17 was one of
Judith's, IIRC). What's the problem with that?

 

oh, I don't know.

That "Doc Martin" thing with Clunes was OK in a "turn off your brain
and watch Jonathon Creek" sort of way. Oh, for sure it was helped by
the fact I find Cornish accents funny for no good reason.

 

Vass secured a place in history by writing:

Have albums (several in some cases) by all of them, except Howard Jones.
And had a hairstyle modelled (badly) on David Sylvian for several years.
It was OK just after a blow-dry, but my hair is wavy and when the damp got
to it it was more Jesus and Mary Chain.

Nowadays I play safe, with 'short please'. Makes the grey look better too.

 

Nowt wrong with that lot. Loads of singles in my collection from those
artists plus some albums.

ITYM "Wishing (If I had a photograph of you).

Err Abba Greatest Hits Vol 2 is the first album and Video Killed the
Radio Star by the Buggles is the first single. Both from Boots in Eldon
Square in Newcastle and almost certainly bought on a Saturday.

 

I tried that, was it ITV? I like Clunes, but couldnt get on with that
series, didn't even make it to the end of the 1st one.

--
ColonelTupperware,
spouting bollocks on Usenet since 1997
Usenet FAQ at
http://www.its.caltech.edu/its/services/internetapps/news/news2.shtml
UPCE FAQ at http://upce.org.uk/ UKRM FAQ at http://www.ukrm.net/faq/

 

<obligatory>
And it took you how long to work out you were gay?
</obligatory>

 

I've said this before but the 6th single I bought was "gimme, gimme,
gimme a man after midnight" by Abba. I'm not helping my cause am I?

It took me years to come out - I "lost" about 18 years of my life as a
result. This partly explains why I am like I am now.

I've thought about the reasons why it took so long and the only
conclusion is that my ability to deny my feelings was incredibly strong
- I can be both very stubborn and yet determined. There are probably
other things too like not having the emotional tool kit to face the
issues, fear, no contact with gay people and the gay "community", being
brought up in the North East etc.

 

Not at all.

Make up for lost time then. Though not at all the same I felt I lost a
chunk of good years with the fundamentalist stuff, first of all in
being in it, then in sorting out the culture shock out in a suddenly
much wider world. This explains bits of who I was, but I got bored
with that 'now' and got a different one. There'll be another one along
in a bit as well.

You don't say.

On the North/South divide thing - or maybe it's a town/country thing -
outside the bigger cities is there still a lot of homophobia?

That's another thing that I think is better for this generation and
the teenagers coming through now - more open ness, positive role
models etc. Or is this impression just because I'm a lefty liberal
city dwelling sociologist and that's just the people I tend to chose
to spend my time with?

 

I don't know how to make up for lost time. I don't do spontaneity and I
don't know how to chat people up - this is part of what I never gained
during the teenage years. I'm now 40 and it feels completely alien to
try to contemplate making up for what I never had at 18.

The usual view in the better "now you've come out" type books is that it
can take 10 years for a gay person to deal with all of the consequences
of living as a gay person in a basically straight world with all of its
prejudices and misunderstanding. I don't think I've made any progress
for about the last 5 years and in some ways I've gone backwards as a
person.

I don't know how you can make that remark from what I post on here and
we've never met. Perhaps you can enlighten me?

Some of your questions are really quite difficult to answer from my own
knowledge. Newcastle certainly was a very macho place to grow up in. The
whole culture drove a set of expectations as to how male teenagers
should act and being gay was never part of that. The possibility was
never acknowledged apart from the typical playground abuse. I was never
bullied but I was called a puff lots of times - perhaps my compatriots
were more perceptive than I gave them credit for? I don't know what
gets taught in school these days but I don't get a sense that there has
been a massive cultural shift amongst the young in the North East of
England.

Newcastle doesn't feel like home any more but there is a far more
visible gay scene and if I was still there then this lot would be
probably be my natural "gang" given my physical characteristics -
http://www.bonebears.com/. IIRC Eddie used to know some of the guys
who were part of BONE.

Although gay people are far more visible and I think society generally
is more tolerant there are far too many examples of bullying and
discrimination and physical attack. I think I would hate to be gay in a
rural area simply because there is less chance of being near support
resources or other gay people. However living in one of the cities with
a reasonable "gay community" [1] is no guarantee that you will be immune
to the negative side of society's attitude to homosexuality.

The only thing that still amazes me today and has done since I came out
is that if you go to any reasonably mainstream gay bar you will see
loads of very ordinary looking people who don't look remotely
stereotypical but who are clearly gay. You can't judge a book by its
cover.

[1] I hate this term because in my experience there isn't one.

 

But... Don't /most/ gay people look normal?

I certainly almost never can tell (or perhaps it just doesn't bother me
- I dunno) whether someone is gay or straight, unless they choose to
say.

I've met you once or twice, and had I not known you were gay (due to
your postings) I wouldn't have picked up on it at all (unless they
conversation got round to you letching after someone).

I am happy to admit that perhaps I am borderline Aspergers at times,
but can /you/ tell just by looking at someone? As long as they aren't
dressed ultra camp that is.

Serious questions as it amazes me that people can spot other peoples
innermost being in this way. I can tell if someone is happy or sad
(generally), and I've learned (quite recently - maybe in the last ten
years) to tell if I am upsetting them or pissing them off, but that's
about it.

 

snip me wittering.

Well what would you have done then that you didn't get to do? If you
still want to do it, then do it. I truly believe it can be as simple
as that.

I'm not sure it is making up for exactly, more like finding a way of
working out what you want now then doing it now. And if it's wrong
then chalking it up to experience and trying something else.

I suppose before you come out you're trying to see things through
alien eyes (if that makes sense) and when you can say 'this is me'
your whole view shifts.

Serious question - how do you gauge process? I'm thinking of a
correlation with the grieving process, set stages that you expect to
see but everyone goes through them at their own pace.

Again by what standards?

Tone of voice in your posts. You come across as a thoroughly decent
chap with no artifice about him. Of course I could be horribly wrong,
I'm still working out the whole trusting in my own opinion thing and
I've been badly wrong before - shakes your confidence when your
impressions are far removed from the reality.

You're one of the people on here who I've not had a sit down and a cup
of coffee and a chat with who I'd like to.

Because in your posts you come across as someone who takes a position
and defends it, because it obviously took determination and
stubborness to effectively change the persona you were presenting to
the world. And because you've said so before and you are the expert on

That was my impression of the bits of North East I was exposed to
during a relationship with a bloke from Alnwick. And Newcastle was
freezing and I don't think I saw anyone with a coat on.

Maybe. Or maybe 'gay' was just the taunt of the moment.

The gay men I know are across the range from screamingly camp to still
very much in the closet and unlikely to come out. When I was a
teenager my mum was friends with a gay couple and I had no idea they
were gay despite the fact they were out and TBH (as she had an even
more sheltered upbringing than me) I don't think she did. It just
wasn't a part of my world view until I was about 18. Looking at photos
now I don't know how I didn't know, apart from the fact it was never
in my world view. A friend commited suicide when he went off to
university and I think (with the knowledge I have now) that he was gay
and couldn't cope. Another mutual friend went off to be a priest,
became a missionary and then packed it all in and is now out, happy
and working for a big charity. Is it luck of the draw, the support you
get, personal strength, a gradual change in the external hostility.
Dunno.

Community doesn't preclude humans being humans.

 

Lady Nina wrote

Eh?

Like we are talking posh and becks here are we?

Get a few more years of life experience under you belt girlie and you
will be singing a very different song I assure you.

 

Lady Nina wrote

Thinking about it is no good. What you need for spontaneity is
practice. The more the better.

 

Bear wrote

Who is Martin Mull?

 

Bear wrote

Talentless then? Can't hold a job in the industry for more than 5
minutes at a time? I can understand his eagerness to make minimum wage,
especially as it would prolly have to stretch a bit between gigs like.