It finally happened to me

At the Texaco (?) between McDoos and Machine Mart on The Highway.

I lift pump handle, bloke behind glass gesticulates that I have to
remove my lid. I point at my lid, he nods, I make it quite clear where
he can shove his petrol, replace the handle and leave.

Harrumph.

 

poof!

Any normal rufty-tufty biker would have removed all the nozzels from
the pumps, kicked in the glass pane of the door to the shop and fucked
off wheelying and getting their knee down at the same time.

 

Good man. Replacing the handle was a bit polite, mind.

 

My next stop was the McDoos at the opposite end of the forecourt.

Gourmet or what!?

 

What the **** is a nozzel?

 

Heh. For lunch on my birthday nothing else would do but a Big Mac.
Dinner was something else, though.

 

He pretends to be an rtb, but unless he's got a gas cylinder in his
hand, he's a great soft shite ...

Paul.

 

Are you referring to the gas cylinder that Andy put on the barbecue last
year, or the one that was in a box that somebody else (also not me) put
on the fire this year?

 

I could have sworn it was you who nicked the neighbours barbie. I
misremember who actually put the gas cylinder on it.

Lozzo's already been fingered for the more recent firebombing ;-)

Paul.

 

Ahem.

 

Ah, Closet Unabomber. Figures ...

ta for the lodgings last week. Top curry, by the way ...

Wish the interview had gone as well as the night out

Paul.

 

Oh, bugger.

 

But did you take your lide off to eat the McBurger?

 

Lid. Lid.

 

Yes. Because I was back in the office and sitting at my desk with a
full-face lid on would be a bit crap.

 

Nasal damage caused by sniffing too much petrol?

 

Last time I had a Big Mac was in the company of the intrepid Frankfurt
runners. I think it's still repeating on me.

 

http://www.sweller.dynalias.org/images/donnington2005.jpg

 

What's that in aid of? The gas cylinder on the barbie was the work of
Ogden and myself.

 

Cock?