It's 1984...

It wasn't *that* bad. Especially since I kept it bow-on to the wind and
waves.

Nah. It rolled a bit coming out of the anchorage but once out into the
loch (and under a bit of power) it was fine.

These boats were driven by a steerable water jet, not a prop. Which was
quite nice (although harder to keep in a straight line)

Well quite. As I discovered when someone was trying to berth alongside
us and nearly rammed their prow into the side of our boat. And that was
their third sailing holiday.. (and my first).

Phil

 

I was party to a marvellous display of harbour rage a few years ago when
I took a tourist boat back to Cassis after a day climbing in En Vau. The
driver (I will make no further apologies for not knowing boatish) made a
pretty good fist of holding the boat next to the rocks in En Vau while we
stepped aboard, which is a stressful process for the boats if there's any
swell, and I think he was rather proud of himself; at any rate he was
looking a bit cocky by the time we got back to the harbour. Once we were
there, though, he missed the slot as he tried to reverse in, and had to
pull out to reposition. At this point I think an older and wiser boat
driver might have taken a brief deep breath before trying again.
Unfortunately this chap must have had a previously undiagnosed ego
condition, because he did exactly the opposite. He got cross. His second
attempt was worse, and it was already apparent to everyone on the boat
that his boat handling skills had gone out of the window. The third
attempt was jerky, noisy and smoky, and by the time he had utterly failed
to get lined up his colleagues on the quay were running around in
consternation, waving their arms and calling to him to calm down. That
got him really pissed off, so he evidently decided to run the boat in at
high speed, exactly on course, and bring it to a crash stop a couple of
centimetres from the concrete, just to show them who could really drive a
boat. Predictably, this plan failed at the first hurdle. His approach
ended almost as soon as it began, when the back corner of the boat
embedded itself with a great splintering crunch in the front of the boat
next door. By the time we'd all picked ourselves up off the floor his
friends had rushed on board via the other boat, and he'd been relieved of
command.

Now I write this I actually feel sorry for him, but at the time it was
hilarious. Kids, don't lose your temper, especially when at the controls
of anything with an engine.

 

Well yes, and of course I delight in doing just that.

They also, frequently, seem to believe they can use the engine just
like a car's brakes. The show-off, coming in astern at 5 knots, then
going full ahead to stop mere inches from the quay, are the worst. But
dead funny to watch when they get it wrong. As long as it's not your
boat they're going to demolish.

Slow and steady is my motto, but then I learned my boat-handling on
20,000 tonne ships (and one 150,000 tonner).

 

You're like a waterborne Sweller.

 

I feel dirty.

 

Captain Acewash.