Jabs

Next week I will be visiting:

Manchester, Blackpool and Liverpool on roadshow duty so I've got my
passport ready as I'll be leaving God's Chosen County but should I
have any additional inoculations before travel up north?

I suppose I could ask Mother, she was born in the norf.

 

Also: JOKE.

 

<Awaits "My car's been nicked" posting>

 

And dont forget your thermals, its always cold up norf.

Alan

 

He's afraid of upsetting the buggers.

 

And the brolly. Ah, that's the whole of the UK, innit?

I'd take a guide that knows how to speak norvern too.

 

Since £11bn of the money made in London and the South East goes to aid
the north I don't see why I shouldn't visit to see how my money is
being spent.

 

On 11 May 2006 03:47:35 -0700, TOG@toil,

"Hello, some northerner has gone off with my rental car, can I have
another Audi A6 please? Ta."

 

Heh, I stayed in Manc last night, its the first time I'd ever been there.

I stayed opposite the Belle Vue speedway track in a nice clean cheap hotel.

From what I saw of the city it was all quite nice, not what I expected.

The bar staff in the hotel were a right laugh as well, very friendly.

 

I don't do cheap hotels.

 

Foot in gob
Knob in hand

and dose of quick wrist for when you hit L'pool. Without it, some **** in a
yellow car will be climbing up your back.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Trouble is, us norvern munkees are wise to the wiles of you savern poofy
cants, so we don't take t' bait like, yerno.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Too fucking right. Manchester AND fucking Liverpool. He's NO chance of
getting out alive and with a bike.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

And there're more who'd DIE for our water. Beautiful AND plentiful


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

It's being spent on building a bigger road out of London to accomodate all
those moving out to live the good life.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

You weren't in Manchester then.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

It's fuckin piss easy t'speak north. First of all, follow these simple
instructions...

Don't use an "A" when the letter is "U" (it's ****, not cant)

Don't use a "W" when the letter is "L" (it's bill, not biw)

Don't use "V" when the letters are "TH". (It's bothered, not bovvered) and
the words "vis and vat" aren't real, they're made up by lazy cunts.

Actually, it's not fuckin' piss easy at all if you've been brought up to
speak improperly, like you lot darn there (there actually isn't an "A" or an
"R" in "down"), but thankfully, northern kids learn the correct way at an
early age. About 13 or 14 I'm lead to believe.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Mmm, Felicity Kendal, Mmmmm.

 

Northern fanny wanker.

 

What's wrong with your water if people are willing to die to taste it?