Jokes that canbeTold in Church

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today
is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the
groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could, trying not to be late for Bible class As she ran she prayed,
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,
getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed
herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began
to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't
shove me either!'
~~~! ~~~~~~ ~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The
first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he
calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on
piece of paper, he calls it a song , they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words
on ! a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people
to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with them to Jerusalem .. A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a
baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were
ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny
responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about
all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how ‘‘Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad.'’’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you
stop laughing!
 
 

 

They'ld be funnier if they ended with " the Aristocrats!"