Let's not rush to judgment

I'll not beheading there anytime soon...

 

I read this and thought "How many fucking cliche's[1] can a person get in a
single fucking sentence.

"We now have to find a way of living without her love and light and we would
ask at this difficult time for some privacy as we try to come to terms with
our loss."

What a load of bollocks. (Cliche')

[1] I'm sure there's a key that does the correct accent, but I can't be
arsed.

 

I rarely carry cash nowadays. If I know I need it I'll get some from the
hole in the wall. Stops me being hassled by people collecting for
charity at work too. They know by now that I never have money.

 

That's allright, and fare does when you're going to run a 20 quid tab.
Could be said to be quicker since there's only one transaction for all
the beer!

When I can't find my wallet it's time to leave.

 

LOL.

 

Machette according to reports. They'll cleave a head off pretty easily if
wielded with a bit of skill. One certainly cleaved of my Uncle Walt's arm
when he was attacked in his car in Sarf Efrika in the 70's.

 

I still have my aunt's old panga. Reckon that would do the job.

 

Had to google for that. No, it looks like Local Kikuyu Blacksmith to
me.

 

This could be a clue to why, when splitting some wood the other day with
my machete, my new neighbours (who's name, coincidentally, is Botha)
disappeared indoors.

 

Ah, one father didn't sell (not personally) then. I have a selection of
Martindale's blades at 'the chateau'. I suspect the machette I use for
hacking small branches off trees would be up to decapitation if swung
with sufficient vigour. A little hard to conceal perhaps. The British
Army issue small panga in a scabbard would be easier to carry without
drawing attention, and in skilled hands would still probably be fairly
effective though.

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I notice the sprogs do it all the time for small items even in t'pub
and that's not getting cashback which I'll do.

 

Now seems that it was a jamon knife, which have about a 30cm blade,
very thin and very, very sharp. So some skill would still be required,
but it'd be easier than with a normal kitchen-type knife.

 

Ref; kukri, for a shining example.

 

Didn't someone post a link to some picture his uncle or someone took
of a beheading in China? It looked like one blow with a sword was
enough.

 

If the shop/pub/whatever has a fast connection, & the user isn't a
mong, plastic's quicker than cash.

 

Times have changed. The FNC are our best buddies now.

 

Yes, but this guy dodn't have a sword, did he?

 

So someone goes to a garage, buys 30 quids worth of tit, hands 30 quid to
the pump attendant and says "Cheers pal" and drives off. How the **** can
arsing about with a card be quicker than that?

 

I've seen that shit awful film "Machete" and I agree