Motorcyle Alarms.

My small but perfectly formed new GS comes complete with one of them new
fangled alarm thingies and sadly, so fucking sadly, I feel obliged to
use it.


Now every time I press a button on the thing it beeps and flashes and
does lots of stuff. I haven't had it for 5 minutes and I am already
finding much of this activity intrusive and my neighbours are going to
be less than pleased I am sure as I keep to a different clock.


So my question is, being as I am new to this game and don't know what
are the accepted protocols for this public nuisance, what, if anything,
of the warnings and whistles is it proper for a Gentleman to instruct
his man to turn off?

 

I'm inclined to let it make its little peeps and squeaks.

It is probably a lot less intrusive than you think.

....until it goes off, that is.

 

My old CBR had an alarm that the prvious owner had fitted that Yelled out
"System Now Active" in a loud terminator type voice. Again, I had to arm it
(I'd be pretty pissed off it it got stolen and I hadn't) but I looked a
right knob when I armed it.

To make matters worse it shouted "System disarmed" when you turned it off,
so you couldn't even try and look cool then either.

 

Judge wrote

Yebbut it has "Additional Features and Functions"

Is it bollox. I am not in the habit of even putting the key in the
ignition before mounting my motorcycle and when I do it gets turned, the
engine gets started and I put it in gear and go. Already this system
requires me to have the bike started before I can get on and that is NOT
A Good Thing. Also it requires me to dismount and stand away from the
bike before turning the engine off. Equally NOT A Good Thing.

Unobtrusive? Is it fucking bollox it has already fucking upset me and I
have only used it twice.

And it is sitting out there right now flashing 6 or 7 times, I don't
actually know which because I can't count that fucking fast, and I don't
know why. If it is flashing at all it should be once or twice.

 

steve auvache says...

Disconnect the fucking thing. You'll be sorry if you don't.

Having your bike nicked is less upsetting than having the fucking alarm
go off or immobilising while riding. Alarms are a liability and have no
place on any motorcycle.

 

Lozzo wrote

I sort of agree with you but I do feel duty bound to give it a go.
There is no experience as good as first hand and all that old shit.

If I can get it so that it is not interfering with the very way I
approach my bike before a ride then I will have achieved some measure of
success. A small one I know but a success nonetheless.

Then I'll rip the fucking thing out.

 

It's probably like a car immob thinger. They flash every couple of
seconds 24/7 to ward off evil spirits.

 

Biz says...

Insurance companies are clueless bastards, it's a well known fact.

 

My insurance is on the complete opposite basis to this. I cannot get
insurance if I say the bikes are at my home address despite being able
to park them off road, in a compound with ground anchors. I can only get
insurance by keeping them in a council garage several minutes walk away
with a different post code.

I know which set up I would prefer.

 

Nice in Toxteth this time of year is it?

 

What make/model alarm is it? I've used a few alarms[1], but none were
this intrusive.

Are you sure you haven't been fitted with christmas tree lights?

Brian.

[1] A Spyball which drained batteries and immobilised the engine
whenever it rained; a meta 357e which works fine, once you get used
to it.

 

Brian Boyle wrote

Does it matter, they are all shite? For the record it is an Acumen
CAT1.

It has too many features and because of this I am not confident it is
actually doing it's job as an alarm and I should be confident. It is
utter fucking crap.

 

Dunno if anyone has posted this up yet Steve, but you can get the manual for
that particular alarm here:

http://www.acumen-electronics.co.uk/users_cat1.html

Hope it helps.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Dan L wrote

I have the manual. I have all the documentation.

No it doesn't. They have just piled in so many 'features' that it makes
the thing damn nigh unusable with confidence and above all else an alarm
should give you confidence.

 

Other than that, Johns of Romford seem to be your nearest dealer, could be
worth taking it into them for a bit of instruction.

If that doesn't work, rip the fucking thing out, after all it's only a
GS500.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Dan L wrote

Yeah right. I don't hear much about them, they are a way away but I do
hear they don't always offer value for money. It was installed by
someone else even more local than that and if I want instruction I would
go there, they have all the experience with this bike and the alarm they
fitted to it.

It is not instructions on how to operate an over complex system I want
but simplicity of function in the first place.

It may come out, it may not but in the mean time I intend to find out
just how difficult it is to live with one and so far I am not enjoying
the experience.


Although, in fairness to it, the warning beep that your indicator is
still on has it's uses cos I am a bugger at forgetting to turn them off.

 

How would I know never having been there?

 

Might be worth a go, as an exercise in "familiarizing" yourself with it.

I briefly read the bumf on the website, aren't there various operational
"modes" you can select, I would have thought one of those would be a basic
alarm function.>

Embrace the change . BTW I don't have one and have no intention of
fitting one either, but then I have the luxury of an alarmed shed with FOAD
ground anchor and chain.
The alarm we fitted to the TS50 wasn't bad mind, never went wrong despite
being abused by a 16 y/o.

That's a useful feature. One of my vices is occasionally leaving the bloody
indicator on.

Any further forward on the ground anchor?

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Dan L wrote

Why should I? I'll embrace the change gladly when it is a change for
the better but an alarm that has more functions than my phone is not a
change for the better. Especially when merely having those functions
makes the otherwise simple job of turning it on and off a gamble
depending on how you turned it off, or on, the last time.

I rather liked that Y shaped thing someone posted a link about. I am
waiting to see what Auntie Carole insists I do in the future with regard
to security and for more information to enable me to complete my Profile
of The Scrote. Then I can decide.

I reckon I can have Do Not Nick Me installation artwork without approval
if I need simple deterrence or 40 squids worth of almost unobtrusive
high tensile thatcham certified steel if I need actual security.

 

Having just read a bit more about your alarm, I see you can have it page you
as an option. That might be bloody useful if you have to leave it parked
outside.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)