MSN Messenger

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Dan L amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

<G>

<Raises eyebrow>

 

It'd go under the name Visual Studio

 

there's an option to block anyone that's not on your contact list.
that'd help removing persons unknown.

--
Adie
(replace spam with nickname to reply)

UKRM FAQ: http://www.ukrm.net/faq/

Triumph 955iSS / ZX9R / GSF1200 bandit (for sale) / CG125
MRO#11 BOTAFOF#7 BOTAFOT#130 DIAABTCOD#17 MIB#24 YTC#16 BOB#15 ex-UKRMMA#22 BOMB#11

 

I appreciate your input chaps, but don't really want to stir up the old
"your not qualified to comment because you're not parents" thing.

I rest my case

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Bear says...

I seriously hope not, cos my SoH removal is 24 years overdue.

 

**** me, someone get the supersized landing net, I 've got a whopper here.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Sorry, I did deliberately throw that old chestnut into the arena to get the
usual, predictable result as I was on my way to bed and didn't have the time
to get into this one with you. It's not a POV I personally think holds too
much weight, and to back it up can confirm that when my kids were, well,
kids, their appointed guardians (should anything have happened to me and
their mother) were a childless couple, as most of the other young parent s
we knew weren't really fit to bring up phlegm, let alone children.

Anyhoo, as events have conspired to have me up this early, I'll have a go at
replying in the manner I would have done last night, had I been in a
position to do so....

MSN Messenger is a comparatively new thing. IRL, as a parent it is fairly
easy to keep a watching eye over who your kids are hanging out with, and to
form opinions of them and their upbringing from RL interactions with them.
From this it is possible to discuss the behaviour of members of their peer
group with them to see what they think of it. My daughter is very savvy in
this respect, and even amongst her small circle of mates knows who the
attention seekers are, and is quite happy to talk about them with either her
mother or I.

The online community is a very much different place (take UKRM for
example), where all is not necessarily what it seems.

If one of my kids (particularly my daughter) starts communicating online
with persons unknown / unseen inevitably there are going to be concerns, as
we all know that an individual's online persona can be almost anything they
want it to be.

As a parent I could just exercise my right to the ultimate sanction and ban
MSN Messenger (and I know plenty of parents who would), but that is really
not either my style, or fair, as on the whole it is good, harmless fun for
her an a bunch of her mates. Unfortunately, like all teenagers
(particularly girls) any attempt by either me or her mother to keep a high
profile eye on what she's up to will provoke a high level of secrecy, not (I
believe) because she has anything untoward to hide, but because she's a
teenager and that's what they do.

By keeping a discrete eye on what she's up to both her mother and I can
satisfy ourselves that she isn't likely to come to harm, and only intervene
only if there is something sinister going on.

WRT your comment about the level of expertise in IT, I am really sad to say
that I know the most about it in this household (and I know 4/5 of ****
all). My daughter is a computer numpty, whilst she knows how to operate
stuff she has no interest whatsoever in how or why they work.

I know you are not a parent yourself, but do not think that this precludes
you (or anyone else) having a valid opinion on how to raise kids, in fact,
being several steps back from it prolly gives you a wider perspective at
certain times. However, on the subject of raising my kids, I reckon I have
a deal more expertise than anybody else, although I do not feel this means
that anybody else's opinion on the matter is worthless.

WRT having a SOH, you are certainly not wrong about that, although as my
kids get older, this aspect does need require any ever increasing level of
fine tuning. Having said that, teenagers do rock, (they are so much more
fun than little kids), and as long as they are generally well behaved, well
balanced, have a decent set of mates, don't do crime / drugs I feel quite
happy to say that SWMBO and I haven't done a bad job of raising our two.
However, as we all know they can go off the rails spectacularly, and at any
age, so I won't be relaxing too much just yet.

Hope that gives a more balanced reasoning.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

After doing the usual not everything on the internet is what it seems
routine I did tell Jess that all the websites she visits and MSN sessions
are automatically logged by the router and I could, if I so wanted,
access it. So she should bear that in mind whilst online.

Obviously it doesn't log in that detail and I couldn't be arsed to check
anyway. I'm pretty sure she knows that.

Either way, she's not stupid and I let her get on with it on trust.

 

That's more or less what I do [1].

Sometimes it's good to have a closer look, but on the whole I don't have too
many concerns.

[1] My old MD had his home network full of all the parental censorship crap
and regularly used to cut his kids connection if they didn't do what they
were told. I reckon if you censor it too heavily it just makes them more
curious.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Dan L says...

I reckon you should force her to participate in ukrm, that'll be enough
to put her off on-line relationships for ever. Sorted.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear

Oh yes.

If only he could learn the difference between "discreet" and "discrete",
I'd probably want him to adopt me.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear

I was thinking more "Sugar daddy".

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear

Do sleep well, Ursine One.

<pats hip pocket, runs tongue slowly over top lip, winks>

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Let her handle it. Tell her to come to you if there's a problem she
can't deal with.

Talk to her. Don't spy.

 

Would you read her diary, too?

 

Hmm, bloody good question.

She doesn't keep a diary, so the answer is somewhay hypothethical.

If I found it, I prolly wouldn't be able to resist having a read of it, but
then if she did keep one, I'd never find it.

The only parallel I can draw is her text messaging, I don't read those.


--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Oh, on the whole that's exactly what happens, and she is not a particularly
secretive character generally. When she does become overtly secretive it
makes me concerned.

Hmm, I reckon a bit of both is prolly the best policy. At least if she does
want to talk about it I'll pretty much know the situation, and if she
doesn't want to bring it up I can engineer a situation where I happen to be
around when whatever is goiing on is actually going on at the time.

I don't care what anyone says, I cannot treat my daughter the same way as I
treat my son, dunno why, just can't do it.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

But *should* you?

And the answer to the question should inform your activity in other
areas.

 

Bloody hell Ben, ever considered a career as an interviewer, that's both an
excellent, and total **** of a question.

However, WRT your question, the answer is yes, and no.

Yes, because as a parent it is important to know what your kids are up to,
and who they are up to it with.

No, because everyone (even teenagers) are entitles to a bit of privacy.

The real answer depends on the circumstances at the time, i.e
How I came across it.
Whether I had sufficient time to read it without being caught.
Whether, at the time I found it, I had any concerns about what she was up
to.

In short, I dunno. Parenting is one of those things you sort of have to
make up as you go along.

Sorry.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

Just ask youself what Mr Cosby would do.