On the metaphysics of quality

At work today I was trying to phrase a joke
about the latest money-saving trend in
austerity-Britain's fertile females, but decided
Groupon is probably getting enough media
exposure already as it is.

So, having found a copy of Zen & The Art
of Motorcycle Maintenance - and, rather
disappointingly, one with British punctuation
rather than American conventions I was hoping
to find (although it does have the original
cover illustration!) - I decided to ponder what
I made of how far I've got back through it.

Okay, so Robert M Pirsig does make a point
of stating it's not that reliable on motorcycle
mechanics, never mind on the tenets of Zen
Buddhist philosophy, but still, there are some
observations which can be made.

A friend has a bike with substantially the same
engine block, different gearbox, different model,
different year, and so on.

But when I started mine up on his driveway he
said, straight away: "yeah, sounds the same
as mine."

I'm not sure it does, quite, now. But never mind.
The point remains. Pads run down to the metal
will make a zinging sound on the brake discs,
dodgy seals can lead to a rhythmic buzz on the
brake discs. A loose or dry chain rattles. A badly
aligned wheel will rub and cause chain noise too.

An underinflated tyre will sound wallowy, as well
as feel different when riding.

But all of these qualities are quite clearly down to
physics, and mechanics if you like.

The assertion, though, that no two bikes sound
the same is highly questionable.

And then I realised.

Mine is an ex-training school bike. I was told
when I bought it that it had been fallen off and
crashed a few times. And in the first year I had
it the forks got changed. I'd fallen off it once at
that point.

The handling improved immediately.

The I noticed I didn't like the way the handlebars
lined up with clocks. So I tilted them forwards a
smidge. And the handling improved immensely.
My guess is it had been set up for average height
women with average length arms. So now I have
a better understanding of what "steering geometry"
is about.

The first time out after altering the bars I grounded
the footpegs--it cornered so much better. And then
I learnt that actually they serve a very useful purpose
in keeping other parts of the bike off the road surface
in the event of a spill.

Indeed, I've ridden bigger, and I've ridden faster, bikes.
I've ridden doddery old vintage bone-shakers. I've
ridden them with shot swing arm bushes (which
caused a spill) and shot swing arm bearings (which
in about 9 months, didn't--even with a slick back tyre
down to the fabric). I've ridden them with shot suspension
too.

But I've fallen off this bike more than off any of the others
and quite possibly more than I've fallen off all the others
put together.

I can only think of twice I've ever fallen off before on
the road. And that was on two different bikes.

Still, it's bought, and paid for, in full. It's new enough
and serviceable enough, generally, to be worth my
while keeping. And the fuel economy is great.

So I shall have to explore the physics of why this particular
bike has the quality of being the one I've fell off the most,
before I start believing in the Karma of objects. Or something.

Someone did once call after me from the self-service
checkout of a supermarket though, to tell me I'd left
a money-off voucher for sanitary towels behind. That
had a bit too much of an instant Karma effect when I
thanked her offered it her on the basis it was maybe more
use to her than to myself.

G DAEB
COPYRIGHT (C) 2011 SIPSTON
--

 

Like anyone's going to nick it.

 

Like anyone would even know he was posting if you didn't reply...

 

I snipped his drivel. Jeez, what more do you want?

 

I would. In fact I did and for me at that time that was the end of it.

 

When I got to the part about his altering the steering geometry by
maoving the handlebars I gave up. Worse than crn, this ****.