OT and the good nerws

Just got back from round the Docs having me blood pressure taken and
stuff.

Him: Weight, 9 stone 5, a bit light for a man you height.

Me: About half a stone low as it goes, I must've missed a dinner.

Him: Diet?

Me <sheepish>: Chips and pies mostly, winter innit.

Him: Exercise?

Me: None to speak of since November.

Him: Smoking still?

Me: 'Bout the same as usual.

Him: Everything checks as fine although your blood pressure shows as
just a little high, nothing worrying at all... I think I had better
send you for the full battery of blood tests and get my equipment
checked.

 

At your age with your history that sounds quite good.

 

R obbo wrote

It does dunnit? I am worried about it now. He has absolutely no right
to find nothing wrong. Especially when I refuse three quarters of the
drugs he tries to peddle to me and won't give me the drugs I do want. I
am going to sue him for malpractice.

 

Diagnosis: Healthy, but senile.

 

ginge wrote

Worse case scenario showing ominous signs of becoming a reality innit.
Not fucking pleasant at all.

 

Correction, you missed "old" out.

 

Diagnosis: Terminally stupid.

Hey, I like this online doctor thing.
..
..
..
NEXT!

 

Oi Doc.......

I got problems wiv me back

Can you fix it?

 

<thinks>

A lump hammer to the C5 vertebrae should make all the pain go away, with
the added bonus you won't be able to type any more.

NEXT!

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, ginge

Is this normal? Should it be that colour?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Is that a "Lumpammerpuncture" then ?

 

No it shouldn't. Grip harder.

NEXT!

 

The message <>

Whom do you know who wears lipstick? [1]

[1] You may use 'know' in the biblical sense if desired.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Rusty Hinge 2

I'm *CURED*!

You're a genius, doc.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000