"Outlaw" Bikers Threatened by Inspection

Discussion in 'Texas Bikers' started by another viewer, Sep 24, 2004.

  1. Dateline Austin, TX - "I just don't think it's worth it any more" says
    Grizzly Jones. "I may have to go back to teaching Kindergarten."
    Nodding in silent agreement were Snake, Barnaby, and Diamond Dog, who
    along with Grizzly were bemoaning the demise of the Outlaw Biker world.

    "Yah, my old lady said if I couldn't get it up high, she was gonna run
    off with the milkman. I told her it didn't pass and she left me right
    then.", Snake chimed in. "It's over. I'm gonna take a bath and put on
    some khakis and a polo shirt."

    What has stopped the 1%er lifestyle dead in its tracks, when years of
    investigations by state and federal agencies couldn't crack the likes of
    the Hells Angels, Mongels and similar motorized hordes of terrorists? A
    simple state inspection regulation that requires chopper handlebar
    height to be no more than 15" above the seat height or it won't be given
    a new inspection sticker. Faced with this grim prospect, the self
    described "outlaws" are giving up their way of life and becoming
    respectable.

    Snake added, "Those inspection guys are a thousand times worse than the
    Highway Patrol. They make you come to them and fill out forms. I don't
    write so good, so it's real hard on me."

    Can it be the American icon of the Outlaw Biker, created and sold by
    Hollywood to the masses since the 1950s is passing away? "Aw, that ----
    was never real anyway" grumbles Diamond Dog. "I can't believe so many
    others fell for it like me. I mean, we dressed up in the matching
    costumes, ruined a perfectly good machine by putting 24" Ape Hangers
    (high handlebars - Ed.) on it and some 1" lead plumbing pipes for
    exhaust. Everyone was afraid of me, they would see my armpits when I
    was riding, and lemme tell ya, I don't shave my pits and bathing is not
    my style. People would run, holding their noses and gagging, I loved
    it."

    But not anymore. Dog continues. "After I flunked inspection and was
    told to change the bars, well, it was like getting hit with a wet soapy
    sponge. If the bars were gone, well, what's the use anymore. It's all
    over."

    Diamond Dog says he and Barnaby will go on to be life partners in the
    their new flower and gift shop called The Mild Ones. "No sense in
    wasting a perfectly good set of leather chaps" says Dog, as Barnaby
    pulls him to the back of the floral displays for some quality time
    together. "Women never liked me anyway and I wasn't too keen on them
    either, it was a good way to hide it but that's over and I like this
    better. Those handlebars made me into something I wasn't.". With
    that, Dog disappears to the back room, the two former outlaws giggling
    like girls.

    -Austin Amerikan Countyman-
     
    another viewer, Sep 24, 2004
    #1
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  2. another viewer

    The Family Guest

    That's good - LOL

    Gary



     
    The Family, Sep 24, 2004
    #2
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