Paging Champ

George Best is lying in hospital when the nurse approaches him "George"
she said "i've got some good news and some bad news"

"you have one day to live"

"what can be the fuckin good news then"

"its happy hour downstairs" the nurse said

or....

There will be no Christmas lights this year in Vietnam, they're hanging
Glitter instead.

I've had countless variations of these hitting my in box for the last
week.

 

Sarah Kennedy came up with a corker on R2 this morning.

George Best is on his bed in a 5 star hotel with Miss World.

The room service guy comes in with a bottle of vintage champagne, looks
at him, shakes his head and says:

"George, where did it all go wrong?"

 

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. ... The rest I
just squandered." - George Best

 

"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes
of my life"

 

"I died twenty years early because I was a piss head"

 

This afternoon there was a prog on Irish radio all about George Best,
with various people phoning in and maudlin music playing. FFS, it was
like some Irish version of Di's passing.

There was one track they didn't play though, which I thought would have
matched the occasion nicely.
The one that has the line, "You had it all and you threw it all away".

 

Talking about his kidney op:

"They nearly ran out of blood, I went through 40 pints in 10 hours.
Beat my own record by 10 minutes"

 

If it had been some of the blood I had donated, I wouldn't have considered
it wasted.

YMMV.