Paging Fat Frenchies

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8471451.stm

'Air France has revealed it may prevent obese economy passengers from
boarding its planes for "safety reasons".'

 

....and KLM will be making fatties pay for two seats. Soon, we'll all be
weighing in at check-in and having our seats assigned by the loadmaster.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, platypus

KLM == Air France these days.

Ever flown American Eagle from LA to San Diego? ;^)

 

When I was at school, one music lesson we were given the task of writing
a jingle for an ad of our own creation.

One of the highlights was for PLO Airways, with the sung slogan "we
don't blow up our own planes"

ObIsrael, I seem to have wangled my way out of a trip to Tel-Aviv.
Again. Thank **** for that.

 

It's how Imperial Airways used to do it.

 

This is actually a serious issue, especially for the smaller short haul
aircraft. The takeoff weight is calculated from a standard average
passenger weight which was set many years ago. People in general have
got a lot heavier so it is very easy to have a dangerously overloaded
aircraft. At least one accident in the USA involving ISTR a 20 seat
turboprop was attributed to this.
Aviation safety experts are getting worried.

 

Sky pixies? Your religion didn't last very long....

 

I think you should have a weight allowance that is you plus baggage.
Fatties take less, skinnies take more, plane needs the same amount of
fuel.

 

Sounds fair to me.

I'd also ensure that the fat fuckers couldn't pay an excess lard
charge, they'd have to either take things out of their cases or ****
off and forfeit their ticket money.

 

Good! When I've got a heavy bag that I'm worried about going slightly
over the weight limit, I make sure I position myself in the queue next
to a really fat bastard (ideally with similarly sized luggage to
mine), ready to make a scene if necessary. It's worked before, simply
because it's so embarassing for all involved

It's not discrimination, that person _chose_ to eat all the pies and
do **** all exercise so they have to live with the consequences. I say
this as an ex-portly gentleman.

 

I don't much care about that. What I do care about is sitting next to
some blue whale.

A few years ago, I got on a flight. Middle seat of three, right at the
very back - so won't even recline properly. Ho-hum. Still, not a long
flight, and the plane seems to be very nearly full - but nobody else has
headed for these seats yet. I might have the block to myself.

Oh, wait a moment... There's a couple of utter bloaters - the kind of
size where you can guess their nationality (and, yes, they were American)
from 100m away - wobbling down the aisle. And getting closer. Yep, one
either side of me. And, no, they don't want to sit next to each other
because they <direct quote> "don't fit"...

Every single member of the cabin crew came back for a look (and most
failed to stifle a smirk) on that flight. I swear I was about a foot
taller when I got off.

 

Shit, this didn't have to turn into an Israel/Palestine thing! Maybe
they should solve the whole thing with a game of football. Except with
considerable external funding, Israel would be able to put together a
team like Chelsea, George Bush would somehow end up refereeing and the
Palestinian players would be fouled and red carded for daring to enter
the Israeli penalty box or even their half of the pitch. Meanwhile the
offside rule would only be applied to Palestinian players. All of this
would mean that the Palestinians have no option but to resort to
playing dirty to score goals, a futile attempt anyway as they'd be
disallowed. Dispite the unfairly matched teams and unfair rules, the
dirty play would cause the commentators and floating-voter fans to
favour Israel with its glamorous players, leaving only a hardcore
Palestinian fans who are either total hooligans or are sympathetic
because although they don't like it, can see why the Palestinians are
forced to play the way they do. While all this is going on, the
general public of each country couldn't give a shit and wish all this
football nonsense would go away so they could get on with their lives
and watch their usual scheduled TV shows.

I agree about the women!

 

I once took a one third full Alitalia MacDac from Palermo where the
cabin crew were sent to move people around before takeoff. I can only
assume there was a balance issue.

 

But the turnaround time goes up because of the extra baggage handling.

 

Pax billiards. They were trying to sink the red...

 

Well, minus the actual weighing of passengers, it's how Aurigny do it to
this day. With only 12 pax it's easy enough to 'weigh them up' by eye!

 

"Ever had your tits weighed?"

 

A step in the direction of positive discrimination.
Next, disabled people, who might impede an emergency evacuation. Then
children under the age of 5.

Obviously we dont want Jews or Arabs either but I'm struggling with how to
justify it. But I'm sure UKRM can sort out the wording.

 

Rather than all this dicking around, for long haul, just set a size limit
based on weight divided by height above which you must book a business class
seat. Job done.

 

"No cunts"