Paging Fat Frenchies

Discussion in 'UK Motorcycles' started by Wicked Uncle Nigel, Jan 20, 2010.

  1. Wicked Uncle Nigel, Jan 20, 2010
    #1
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  2. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    platypus Guest

    ....and KLM will be making fatties pay for two seats. Soon, we'll all be
    weighing in at check-in and having our seats assigned by the loadmaster.
     
    platypus, Jan 20, 2010
    #2
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  3. Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, platypus
    KLM == Air France these days.
    Ever flown American Eagle from LA to San Diego? ;^)
     
    Wicked Uncle Nigel, Jan 20, 2010
    #3
  4. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    ogden Guest

    When I was at school, one music lesson we were given the task of writing
    a jingle for an ad of our own creation.

    One of the highlights was for PLO Airways, with the sung slogan "we
    don't blow up our own planes"

    ObIsrael, I seem to have wangled my way out of a trip to Tel-Aviv.
    Again. Thank **** for that.
     
    ogden, Jan 21, 2010
    #4
  5. It's how Imperial Airways used to do it.
     
    The Older Gentleman, Jan 21, 2010
    #5
  6. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    crn Guest

    This is actually a serious issue, especially for the smaller short haul
    aircraft. The takeoff weight is calculated from a standard average
    passenger weight which was set many years ago. People in general have
    got a lot heavier so it is very easy to have a dangerously overloaded
    aircraft. At least one accident in the USA involving ISTR a 20 seat
    turboprop was attributed to this.
    Aviation safety experts are getting worried.
     
    crn, Jan 21, 2010
    #6
  7. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Eiron Guest

    Sky pixies? Your religion didn't last very long....
     
    Eiron, Jan 21, 2010
    #7
  8. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Ben Guest

    I think you should have a weight allowance that is you plus baggage.
    Fatties take less, skinnies take more, plane needs the same amount of
    fuel.
     
    Ben, Jan 21, 2010
    #8
  9. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Andy Bonwick Guest

    Sounds fair to me.

    I'd also ensure that the fat fuckers couldn't pay an excess lard
    charge, they'd have to either take things out of their cases or ****
    off and forfeit their ticket money.
     
    Andy Bonwick, Jan 21, 2010
    #9
  10. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    fishman Guest

    Good! When I've got a heavy bag that I'm worried about going slightly
    over the weight limit, I make sure I position myself in the queue next
    to a really fat bastard (ideally with similarly sized luggage to
    mine), ready to make a scene if necessary. It's worked before, simply
    because it's so embarassing for all involved :)

    It's not discrimination, that person _chose_ to eat all the pies and
    do **** all exercise so they have to live with the consequences. I say
    this as an ex-portly gentleman.
     
    fishman, Jan 21, 2010
    #10
  11. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Adrian Guest

    I don't much care about that. What I do care about is sitting next to
    some blue whale.

    A few years ago, I got on a flight. Middle seat of three, right at the
    very back - so won't even recline properly. Ho-hum. Still, not a long
    flight, and the plane seems to be very nearly full - but nobody else has
    headed for these seats yet. I might have the block to myself.

    Oh, wait a moment... There's a couple of utter bloaters - the kind of
    size where you can guess their nationality (and, yes, they were American)
    from 100m away - wobbling down the aisle. And getting closer. Yep, one
    either side of me. And, no, they don't want to sit next to each other
    because they <direct quote> "don't fit"...

    Every single member of the cabin crew came back for a look (and most
    failed to stifle a smirk) on that flight. I swear I was about a foot
    taller when I got off.
     
    Adrian, Jan 21, 2010
    #11
  12. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    fishman Guest

    Shit, this didn't have to turn into an Israel/Palestine thing! Maybe
    they should solve the whole thing with a game of football. Except with
    considerable external funding, Israel would be able to put together a
    team like Chelsea, George Bush would somehow end up refereeing and the
    Palestinian players would be fouled and red carded for daring to enter
    the Israeli penalty box or even their half of the pitch. Meanwhile the
    offside rule would only be applied to Palestinian players. All of this
    would mean that the Palestinians have no option but to resort to
    playing dirty to score goals, a futile attempt anyway as they'd be
    disallowed. Dispite the unfairly matched teams and unfair rules, the
    dirty play would cause the commentators and floating-voter fans to
    favour Israel with its glamorous players, leaving only a hardcore
    Palestinian fans who are either total hooligans or are sympathetic
    because although they don't like it, can see why the Palestinians are
    forced to play the way they do. While all this is going on, the
    general public of each country couldn't give a shit and wish all this
    football nonsense would go away so they could get on with their lives
    and watch their usual scheduled TV shows.
    I agree about the women!
     
    fishman, Jan 21, 2010
    #12
  13. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    M J Carley Guest

    I once took a one third full Alitalia MacDac from Palermo where the
    cabin crew were sent to move people around before takeoff. I can only
    assume there was a balance issue.
     
    M J Carley, Jan 21, 2010
    #13
  14. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    M J Carley Guest

    But the turnaround time goes up because of the extra baggage handling.
     
    M J Carley, Jan 21, 2010
    #14
  15. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    platypus Guest

    Pax billiards. They were trying to sink the red...
     
    platypus, Jan 21, 2010
    #15
  16. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    Derek Turner Guest

    Well, minus the actual weighing of passengers, it's how Aurigny do it to
    this day. With only 12 pax it's easy enough to 'weigh them up' by eye!
     
    Derek Turner, Jan 21, 2010
    #16
  17. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    CT Guest

    "Ever had your tits weighed?"
     
    CT, Jan 21, 2010
    #17
  18. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    'Hog Guest

    A step in the direction of positive discrimination.
    Next, disabled people, who might impede an emergency evacuation. Then
    children under the age of 5.

    Obviously we dont want Jews or Arabs either but I'm struggling with how to
    justify it. But I'm sure UKRM can sort out the wording.
     
    'Hog, Jan 21, 2010
    #18
  19. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    'Hog Guest

    Rather than all this dicking around, for long haul, just set a size limit
    based on weight divided by height above which you must book a business class
    seat. Job done.
     
    'Hog, Jan 21, 2010
    #19
  20. Wicked Uncle Nigel

    CT Guest

    "No cunts"
     
    CT, Jan 21, 2010
    #20
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