Paging (Ms) WUN

Is it true that I can get rid of an employee without any ramifications
within 6 months ?

Not doing a good job, not fitting in, I want to get shot of him

 

It's a year, but you cannot discriminate against race, religion, gender
etc etc.

So, if she's a one eyed black lesbian, forget it before you start.

If he/she does want to start any shit, she will have to do it before
three months.

My advice, get a solicitor to sort it out.

 

Just get it done because it'll get more and more complicated as time
goes by.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, geoff

Is he still within a probation period (one that's been mentioned in
writing?).

If not, you need to go down the disciplinary / performance management
route.

 

depends how you do it - did you put a probationary period in his contract?
Not essential but makes life easier.

Have a supervision session with him. Advise him of his poor performance.
Offer to retrain him. Advise him that he will have another supervision next
week and every week thereafter. Hopefully he will get the message and ****
off, but after a couple of weeks you should've covered your arse enough to
bin him.

 

Well, I took him on in a probationary manner and told him it would last
until xmas

I've kept him on a bit longer as work is brisk, but his work's not good,
so he's got to go

 

He has also broken several verbal rules we established,

stopping the smoking breaks might crack him

 

verbal is no good - put everything in writing and make sure he is not being
discriminated against. If you stop his fag breaks (except at agreed rest
period intervals, obviously) then you will have to make sure everyone else
is briefed the same. It could be a way to make him even less popular and
easier to get rid of.

Also, check over his job application and verify stuff you haven't already.
If he hasn't shown you his O level maths certificate then ask to see it.
You'd be surprised how many people tell porkies on their CV. I wrote a
dissertation on the subject! Lies on the CV = instant dismissal if they are
material to the application.

 

Kick his arse, tell him to ship up or **** off. When he doesn't, tell
him to **** off.

 

that is, getting on for two months after the end of his probationary
period.

I'd go carefully IIWY.

 

If that doesn't work, kill his first-born son.

Or is that too Jewish?

 

Well, that would have stopped him taking last week off

Only if he's of the 7th tribe

 

Failing that you need to have a word with darsy and find out his rate
to top the fucker.

 

Ah the Hog thread ...

Only 4 stops round the m25 - travelling expenses would be cheap

wouldn't it affect his unemployment benefit, though

 

He'd could say he had to take an apptitude test as part of a job interview
and received expenses. You could offset it against tax. Then send him a
letter saying he didn't get the job because he is a useless **** and
definitely not because he is Irish.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, geoff

OK, now you're on *really* thin ice.

Do this properly.

 

Kill the first born son of every employee?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, ogden

Absolutely. You mustn't be seen to discriminate.

 

I'd have taken him on as a personal contractor in the first place so
avoiding the issue entirely.

 

Would you have employed him to snip your posts?