Paging The ONSisti

That's ONS, as in 'The Office for National Statistics'.

I've had two letters now informing 'The Residents' of where I live
that we've been lucky enough to be picked by the ONS for a survey, and
that they will be in touch in the near future to carry it out.

They also 'ask for your help', indicating it might be optional, but
then go on to say 'we can't pick any other household', indicating
they're determined to have their way.

However... it's not an official census, so where do we legally stand
in terms of muttering 'get orf my land' when they call at the door, as
in, are we within our rights to tell them to clear off or, given the
envelopes this particular junk mail has been arriving in have been
emblazoned with 'On Her Majestys Service', are they within their
rights to throw us in the dungeon of the Tower of London (1) for non-
compliance?

As I say, the letters are addressed to 'The Residents' and the waffle
inside states the stats are anonymous, so it's not like they have our
names (2).

(1) Preferable to say Belmarsh I would think
(2) Yeah, right

 

We've had one of these and it left us in no doubt that we
HAD to complete the questionnaire.

No incriminating info was required IIRC.

 

But under what law would they prosecute you if you ddin't?

Can't you just say "sorry, I can't be arsed"?

Tim

 

That's what they wanted you to think. Did the form actually contain words
like, "failure to return this is contrary to Section 3B of the Don't be a
**** Act 1978"

Yes

I worked on a survey for a government dept. We sent out letters informing
businesses that they had been selected to participate. These letters were
worded in a way that made the hard of thinking dutifully doff their caps
and give me the data. About 80% of businesses complied but we had no powers
to force the other 20% to do so.

Of course, in a utopian world these surveys have the potential to shape
government policy. If people do not provide the data on issues such as
education, crime, employment etc, then how is government meant to make
things better?

 

Resign?

 

Well exactly... it doesn't.

Nor does it state anywhere on it or in the leaflet that accompanied it
that it's an offence to tick the 'Property Empty' (1) box before
returning the form to the ONS 'tard named on the form, and you're not
obliged to sign it either...

Good stuff.

(1) Yes, I'm fully aware they may question why it is that a form sent
to an allegedly empty property was returned, but I'm "just keeping an
eye on the place, innit Bruv".

 

I'd rather they didn't tbh, only it's quite amusing watching the
fallout as Herr Browns chickens all coming home to roost at the same
time.