Paging the Over 50's

Hello you.

I'm sorry, I'll say it a bit louder so you can hear me.

HELLO YOU.

<wipes dribble from your mouth>

My wonderful employer has put together a rather positive article for
coffin dodgers like yourself to read with regards to motorcycles while
you wait to expire.

YES DEAR, IT'S AN ARTICLE ABOUT BRUM BRUM BIKES, YES. WOULD YOU LIKE
ME TO CHANGE YOUR CATHITER?

If you receive your complimentary copy of the Saga Magazine through
the post this month then the item is only a couple of pages long and
speaks about a group of Harley riders (boys and girls) and is entitled
"High on the Hog"

A sample from the Saga website follows:

YOU MAY NEED TO USE YOUR MAGNIFYING GLASS OR MAKE THE WORDS BIGGER SO
THAT YOU CAN READ THEM. WOULD YOU LIKE A NICE CUP OF TEA WHILE I SORT
OUT YOUR BED SORES?

""
"Born to be wild and looking for adventure? Maybe, but these top-notch
bikers also love their luxury hotels and restaurants."

Most of the time Jeff Fallon, 52, is an IT consultant with a
four-bedroom detached executive home in Surrey – and a divorced father
of two adult daughters. His only rebellious act is to ride sometimes
into London on his Harley-Davidson with some mates and “tell traffic
wardens to get lost”. So much for wild youth. But his Harley-Davidson
persuades him that he, too, could be King of the Road, speeding down
an Arizona freeway, with an open road and a bright future. “Having a
Harley-Davidson, my daughters keep telling me, keeps me like a young
guy.” It stops the clock, even if it’s only in your head.

When people think of Harley-Davidson they probably think of Marlon
Brando in the 1953 film The Wild One (even though Brando rode a
Triumph; Lee Marvin, the really bad guy, rode the Harley). But Jeff
thinks of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the film Terminator 2, which is why
he bought a black Fat Boy. “I like them looking a bit macho,” he says.
No other motorbike has the same bad boy image as a Harley-Davidson
(the motorcycle of choice for any self-respecting Hell’s Angel). Or
hints so seductively at the freedom of the open road. It’s to do with
the riding position, apparently, sitting back, arms straight, compared
with the fast Japanese bikes which demand a chin on the tank and
bottom in the air configuration. The distinctive Harley rumble also
gets enthusiasts chomping at the bit. But the crucial appeal of
Harley-Davidson is that it conjures up a lifestyle even in the hearts
of those who don’t live it.
""

 

Oh goody.

Don't knock cathiters, you can pee the bed and stay dry.

Do you mind if I stick to my GSX-R1000...my dear.

 

Good thinking.

Molly, what address may I email you at? I would like to ask you
something if possible.

 

I actually get it, after some tree-huggers and animal-lovers and hunt
saboteurs signed me up to:

1. Will-writing service, all kinds.

2. Stair lift manufacturers.

3. Hearing aid suppliers

4. Funeral provision plans

5. Incontinence pants suppliers

and sundry other jollities.

The Saga magazine is rather good. But this piece sounds like a load of
wank.

 

On Sat, 22 Oct 2005 22:24:08 +0100,

Whoops! Should you wish me to remove you from their database just
drop me an email with your details and I'll get you removed.

The "Smag" does have interesting articles in it sometimes, dotted
between the adverts and they've started to jazz it up a bit now (new
binding and look) because it's being piloted on sale in the Glasgow
area. It's always been a Members Only magazine delivered via mail
until now.

You're right about the article being a bit wank, it filled a few
minutes of my day and was quite positive. The full article should be
on the website next month when the new issue is out.

 

I get a complimentary copy of an odd mag through the post. No idea
why, though. Thought the first one had been sent by someone here as I
think I recognised a contributor. Now a year later, I get another one.

Most strange.

 

No, leave it, as it's a damn good read. And I'll qualify for it in a few
years anyway.

 

They buy new names all the time from people like Experian, good
quality data and very expensive.

 

They haven't found me yet.

 

Oh, I know some companies do that. But not sure that's the case with
this one, given it's quite a specialist (and expensive) mag.

 

Careful now, some of TOG's 'friends' may take that a bit literally ;-)

 

He's got that bit right at least. Not specifically about Hardly, of
course, about any bike.

The rest is totally sad shit, written by a numpty.

 

<snip>

What a ****.

 

Here is an article from Saga Magazine written by Michael Brunson, OBE, who
is referring to a report by the Department of Transport entitled The
Compendium of Motorcycle Statistics http://tinyurl.com/bl4ch

"The document reports that one in five of all those who die on our roads are
bikers. Some 7,500 were killed or seriously injured last year. Motorcyclists
are 50 times more likely to be involved in serious accidents than car
drivers. Other research has shown that when a motorbike accident takes place
in a country area, it is three times more likely to result in someone being
killed.
For once, a set of figures tallies with what I've seen for myself. On the
country roads around my home, I see motorcyclists taking insane risks at
terrifying speeds. In our local town, I see elderly people scared by the
noise and speed of the bikes. There aren't many days when our local morning
paper doesn't report yet another, often fatal, motorbike accident.

So let's forget about Father Christmas and urge the Government to take
action right now, not just to save lives but to cut down on the millions of
pounds that motorcycle accidents must be costing the NHS. I know that bikers
often blame other road users for not seeing them coming or giving them a
wide enough berth, but that is much harder to do when so many crazy riders
are pushing their lethal machines to the limit - machines which, at most,
cost £60 a year to put on the road.

Two things must happen. First, the police need to mount a real campaign
against motorcyclists who ride dangerously and who flaunt the speeding laws
so openly. Secondly, the road tax for their machines should rise very
sharply, and for all but the smallest machines, it should be much higher
than the rate for cars. For the very powerful bikes, I don't think £500 a
year would be too much. Responsible riders will be outraged, but something
has to be done to rein in the mindless idiots who are terrifying the rest of
us."

 

Her very ill informed. I wonder if anyone wrote in and had a letter
printed slagging him off the next month. It was the Dec '04 issue,
when I'm back at work in a couple of weeks I'll have a look through
the archives.

 

BGN wrote

Don't bother Nick, it is about wrinklies by wrinklies, who gives a
fucking shit?

 

Reactionary wanker. He's writing for the typical Saga reader though.

 

**** off you pre-adolescent

The ears work (even if nothing else does)

 

Not a ... proposal

sort of changed direction ?

 

lmfao

must be ten years ago now, picked up an fxe off a mate as I was
planning to bugger off to greece / middle east for the summer, another
lad mentions he's seen something about harley owners doing a run that
was coincidental with about 40/50% of the route between here and
athens, "Oh, intersting" I say, so a couple hours later he rings me
from home with a contact number, somehwere in the german / swiss
borders are, so I ring them up

(bear in mind this was ten years ago, sold a five bedroom seaside house
in sidmouth for 80k)

oh yes they say, describe the trip, yeah, no need to sell, know the
route, descibe the hotels planned (eh? I have a 2 man tent!) describe
the "support vehicle" complete with factory mechanic and spared (eh,
it's only a sedate 1000 mile run ffs) the trip is (tappity on
calculator coming over the phone) just over two thousand uk pounds (eh,
no thanks I'll do the trip without your hotels and support vehicle and
itinerary thanks)

then this idiot tries to tell me if I don't pay them, I can't go on the
journey I'd planned anyway.... laugh at him and hang up...

as it happened I ran into them and their entourage in that town on the
italian side of mont blanc tunnerl, the one down in the valley where
you usuallt stop to stow all the warm clothes for the run down to
brindisi, thank **** I didn't hitch my wagon, the article above sounds
like the same kinds of people... one of them, a belgian on an evo
(they were all on evos as far as I looked) even tried to tell me my
1974 shovel motor wasn't a harley, but some sort of cheap copy (as the
motor was different to his) which was exactly the same comment I got in
the athens HD dealership (he had a pink caddy that he preferred posing
in, summer heat in athens and a hot running hd motor weren't a good
mix) the next week when I stopped by for a replacement inline fuel
filter...