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....you can breath easy now. I've taken over your bad luck

This year so far

Macbook Air: broken hdd
BD player: won't connect to network
Tissot watch: crown came off
Steamcleaner: didn't work as advertised and missing parts
Videocamera: just shuts down at random
Car license: failed twice

 

Another one with the inverse Midas touch.

 

And all that on top of looking like a child molester.

Three words of advice: down not across.

 

Ever thought about coming up with your very own original jokes

 

Several times.

 

You have met Ogden, right?

 

I have. He's met me as well. If he had paid attention, he would have
noticed the 'tache is gone and I look quite respectable now. Anyway,
he's probably been closer to prison than I ever have.

 

That's what Gary Glitter would have said until he went to PC World.

 

Yeah, like the tache was the whole problem.

 

Now, do tell, what is it then.

 

Oops. Not a good start to the year.

 

Got a mirror handy?

 

Oh, wow. That *was* clever. I concede to your cleverest retorts.

I may need some time to overcome this tremendous blow.

Wow

 

Says Penfold

 

Calm down chap, I said you *look* like a child molester. I've no idea if
you actually are one.