{RBR} It is possible ...

.... to do Scotland in four days, but not recommended.

I had breakfast in Fort William, and I've just got home.

Odometer readings:

Sat 161k
Sun 162k
Mon 163k
Tue 164k
Wed 165k

All k's are 1000s of kilometres.

 

B.b.but, did you go via Ardnamurchan Point? The most westerly
point of the UK mainland?

Seems less than convincing otherwise.

4k km (roughly 2k miles) in 4 days is pretty
impressive anyway.

Mucho massaging offered to the chalfonts.

 

Er, thousands of kilometers?

Impressive.

That's an equivalent distance to the moon and back, in four days.

I know they try to make the RBR challenging, but **** a duck.

 

Impressive.

 

Very well done, but where's the report eh, you slacker?!

 

Pah, I've done it in 3.

Ok, so I am a touch nearer.

 

Well, I set off on Sunday, cos I had "things to do" on Saturday, so I
was already a day behind schedule.

Tanked up the A1, got asked to remove my helmet for the first time
ever in a filling station, but didn't, cos I couldn't hear too well
with my lid on. I had flipped the front up.

Found a roadside stone in a little village in Yorkshire, then
by-passed the services at Scotch Corner, and set about the A66.

Some time later, having got back onto the A66 after filling up in
Kirkby Stephen, it was then M6/A7 to Langholm.

Mr Telford's door was exactly where I expected it to be, so I shot off
to the little village of Elvanfoot to find the next landmark - a
burial ground. No joy. Luckily some locals put me on the right track
for the cunningly placed landmark, which I'd ridden past half a dozen
times without spotting.

From there it was down the glorious A702 towards Dumfries, before
heading off to get a picture of a statue near a reservoir.

Off to the coast now, through Galloway Forest Park, before snapping a
statue of a fisherman in the village of Port William. Very lifelike it
is, too.

Retracing my route through the forest, I turned towards Ayr, before
finding my tower on a hill. It was difficult to photograph, with the
setting sun behind it, but the flash seems to have coped. From there
it was up the Ayrshire coast to Gourock to find a well. Again, the
flash was useful, as it was around 8:30 by this point.

I secured lodgings at the Holiday Inn in Greenock, and was confronted
with a continental breakfast on Monday, as punishment.

Monday dawned damp, and started with a trip to Currys. I'd forgotten
to pack the spare battery for the camera, and the low battery
indicator was on. No chargers for sale, though.

Undaunted, I flogged over the Clyde, and through heavier drizzle, made
my way to a water fountain, tucked away in the Trossachs. The next
landmark was further north, a cairn to the Astronomer Royal who made
John Harrison's life such a misery over his clock.

Due to the weather, I decided at this point to head east, but made the
mistake of "remembering" the eastern landmarks in order, rather than
by geographical placement. Consequently I found myself in Kirkcaldy,
looking for the memorial to Jock Taylor, the sidecar champion.

From there I plodded up the coast, in glorious sunshine to Montrose,
to find a statue, then north again to a small bay north of Aberdeen.

Rejoing the main road on the way back, I checked there was no traffic,
and accelerated onto the road, whereupon the front slid out on some
gravel. I instinctively stuck out a left leg, and got a way with it,
though my ankle protested for a while after. No after effects, so well
done, Daytona Roadstars.

Back across Aberdeenshire to snap a statue of a prize bull outside
Alford, then north to the Moray coast to get a fishermen's memorial.

On the way I had to get past several fairground vehicles: you know,
8x4 truck with a drawbar trailer, with a caravan on the back. Just
what you need on the winding country roads. I was also getting
concerned about the Zumo - it kept telling me I'd be somewhere by a
given time, but I'd never make it by that time - often arriving 20
minutes late for an hour's journey.[1]

Having got the memorial I headed to Inverness, but soon found myself
on the A9 heading north. It was now gone eight, and I thought to look
for lodgings. Several failed attempts found me just north of Dornoch,
on reserve, and getting a little nervous. Hotelier there had a room,
but the ceiling was being repaired, but, as he said "Ooh, you're
proper fucked" when I told him how much petrol I had[2] - he relented,
and let me have it. The breakfast was worth every penny.

Tuesday was bright and sunny, so, after filling up, I set off north
past Wick to snap the barometer in a little fishing harbour. The North
Sea was like a mill-pond: not a ripple on the surface. The road was
empty, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself all the way there, and back.

From the A9, I headed west alongside the railway line, where I found
the grave of a famous Scottish aviator, the continued west to the Kyle
of Lochalsh, then out to the far end of Skye. On the way to Kyle, I
swept round a bend, and spotted flashing lights, loads of gravel, and
a coach, just as both ends went all a bit squirrelly.

That'll be where a coach has emptied its sump all over the road, that
will. A gritting truck had done its best, but I suppose there's a fine
line between soaking up the oil, and turning the road into a beach.

The road across Skye is wonderful, with the Cuillins to one side, and
the sea to the other. I got the picture of an old disused watermill,
then filled up (111.9p) before returning to the mainland again.

I found the footbridge over the gorge on the way to Fort William,
after some damp greenlaning, then set about finding somewhere to stay.

Ft William was booked solid - except for the last hotel as you head
south.

Showered and changed I repaired to the bar, where a pensioners coach
party was being entertained by a chap in a kilt - doing all the old
favourites. He wasn't anywhere near as awful as I expected.

Wednesday: rain; drizzle; rain; overcast; drizzle; biblical downpour;
wind; sunshine; overcast; dark.

The run down the coast from FW was conducted in light drizzle, but I
found the direction marker easily enough. From there it was north up a
B road I'd encountered a few years ago. It was just as dreadful in the
daylight, mainly due to increased traffic. Single track roads are no
fun when you're just trying to get somewhere.

Picked up the A85, then the A84 through the Trossachs, where the
heavens opened. I was almost forced to stop, it was so bad. By the
time I'd reached Callander, it's stopped, as I went past Dunblane it
was sunny. M9/A720 took me towards the A1, the north to Dunbar. Found
the landmark there, then along the A1107 , in ferocious crosswinds, to
Eyemouth.

Found both memorials here, then headed in land to a tower house past
Duns. Was approached by four quizzical lambs whilst having a bite to
eat and a coffee. They ran away when I lit a cigarette. Health freaks.

From there it was SE through Kelso to Wooler, then out to the coast
again, to Embleton. Local knowledge once again proved helpful in
locating a specific gravestone ina cemetery, the it was south to
Jarrow.

On this trip I had another problem with the Zumo. It suggested (quite
reasonably) that I go through the Tyne Tunnel. I had no change, so
decided to ignore it. Three times it told me to turn round, but I
waited until I'd crossed a river, then, when it told me to turn left,
I followed it, thinking I was south of the Tyne. Was I 'eck. It took
my into town on the A696, then onto the A1058 all the way to the mouth
of the Tyne bloody Tunnel.

I gave up, changed a pound coin, and paid my 20p.

Bede's monastery was unsurprisingly easy to find, the all that was
left was a statue of a bomber pilot near Darlington.

I found the statue easily enough, and had a last coffee, and a
Ginsters Steak Slice, checked in with madam, and pointed the Wing
south.

Eight o'clock, 253 miles from home. The A1 had loads of 50mph
sections, while chaps were strimming the grass in the central
reservation, and there were various road closures round here, but I
strolled (fell) through the door around 12:45. Only two fill-ups on
the way home, too. A tinted visor's no help on the unlit bits without
catseyes, either.

71 landmarks now, out of 90.

Of the nineteen remaining, there's Kent, Yorkshire (2) Lincs (2),
Gloucs, B&NES, and Wales(12). Easy. Hopefully.


[1] At one point, on the way back from Skye, it said "turn onto A82;
48 miles; 45 minutes" - how the flying wossname can a satnav suggest
that you *average* 64mph on a single-carriageway NSL road? On a Wing?
In the rain. In traffic. Oddly, on the A1(M) on the way home, it
suggested that to cover 50 miles, on a dual carriageway, would take 65
minutes. Weird. Trouble is, it bases it's "faster time" calculations
on this, so no wonder some of its routings were a little "unorthodox".

[2] Petrol stations close in the evening, apparently. I was only 1.5
miles away from one, but it was shut.

 

YTC#1 posted:

Well, yes; I can be in Scotland in under 30 minutes, if you're going
to count that. Covering the country, however, will take a bit longer.

 

To be fair, the road types are down to Navteq. But the Zumo is known
for optimistic journey times.

 

Have you looked into the 'avoidances' thingy?

I found out the hard way when a 30 minute trip turned into 2 hours
because it took us for a ferry ride. It was the 'shorter' route.

 

I seldom pay attention to the arrival time as I don't trust it.

One time it was counting down, arrival 12.21, 12.20, 12.19. I was on the
bike and making progress.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, SD
<> typed

<As ever, an entertaining account>

Hats off sir. You're a marvel. As fucking loonies go.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "He's hopeless, but he's honest"

I have already made the greatest contribution to the fight against climate
change that I can make: I have decided not to breed. Now quit bugging me and
go and talk to the Catholics.

 

[snip humungous report]

Excellent stuff, Nick and well done.

 

405,503km to the moon at perigee. Assuming 12 hours a day in the saddle
leaves us with 48 hours of riding giving us an average speed of 8448kmh.

Cool! I never knew the roads in scotland were that good.

Oh /4000km!/ Now I see. Good going dear boy.

Does the keeper of the lists have Iron Arse numbers? IA#1 etc.? To be
handed out for confirmable ridiculous mileage in a short period of time.

 

<applause>

Well done chap.

I have an old fashioned motoring holiday round Scotland planned with
F, in the week when she is unencumbered with sprog. Can you recommend
anywhere I can get a tartan rug and two thermos flasks?

 

I can recommend somewhere to eat and somewhere to stay in Ft William, if
that's on your itinerary.

--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

It is! Recommend away, old chap.

 

Eat here:

http://www.crannog.net/

One of the most memorable meals of my life.

Sleep here:

http://www.ashburnhouse.co.uk/

I have stayed in some hotels costing 3 or 4 times the price that have
not come close.

HTH



--
Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
116 Giulietta 3.0l Sprint 1.7 145 2.0 Cloverleaf 156 V6 2.5 S2
Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

 

And if you want the old-time hunting lodge experience try Skeabost
House Hotel on Skye.

The lunches were amazing (although this was 8 years ago so YMMV).

Phil

 

I've got a tartan rug you can borrow...