Secret Nuclear Bunker

Discussion in 'UK Motorcycles' started by BGN, Aug 3, 2006.

  1. BGN

    BGN Guest

    I was flicking through Penguin's "Bollocks to Alton Towers" this
    morning and came across
    <http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0/articles/bollockstoaltontowers/nuclearbunker.html>
    which is the Secret Nuclear Bunker in Kelvedon.

    Their webiste (www.secretnuclearbunker.com) suggests they're open 7
    days a week. It's only a 12 mile detour (north-east M25) on my
    journey home from Derby on the Sunday after EoSM so I plan to take a
    tour (£6) while I'm near.

    Has anyone here been, and is it an interesting distraction?
     
    BGN, Aug 3, 2006
    #1
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  2. BGN

    Greybeard Guest

    I went there the other day Nick.

    I've been 4 times now and it's an amazing place to visit. The first I went
    was best, because it had only just opened. Now, the guy seems to have filled
    it up with a helluva a lot junk!
    Well worth a visit though, just amazing to think that it was built in almost
    *total* secrecy at the time.
    I lived nearby, as did a number of my friends, and although I was probably a
    little too young to have known it being built, I couldn't find anybody that
    did.

    Mind the ride from the road to the bunker though, it turns into a gravely
    sloping car park.

    HTH.
    --
    Greybeard

    FLHRCI -01 UK 95 cu-in Stg 2. (The King)
    Trumpet Trophy 1200 -96, (The Barge) for rainy days

    ukrm@foxtails[dot]co[dot]uk
     
    Greybeard, Aug 3, 2006
    #2
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  3. BGN

    BGN Guest

    Ooh. I take it there's nowhere to store ones tank bag, helmet and
    jacket?
     
    BGN, Aug 3, 2006
    #3
  4. I would have been reluctant to spend an eternity with some of the ugly
    munters in that place, if the mannequins on the Admin level are anything
    to go by.

    Nuclear War - Yes Please!
     
    Grimly Curmudgeon, Aug 3, 2006
    #4
  5. BGN

    Pip Luscher Guest

    Surely the Vimmin vould haff to be of a most stimulating nature, ja?

    Oh, sorry, that's mineshafts.
     
    Pip Luscher, Aug 3, 2006
    #5
  6. I'd like to know just how they built it. Mining technique or excavation
    and backfilling?
     
    Grimly Curmudgeon, Aug 3, 2006
    #6
  7. BGN

    Andy Carvell Guest

    Yep, I've been.

    Well worth it, and a very interesting distraction!
     
    Andy Carvell, Aug 3, 2006
    #7
  8. BGN

    Brian Day Guest

    Yes, been once. It's worthy of at least one visit. Every room i went in the
    phone rang, so eventually i answered
    it, an irate voice said "Would you PLEASE stop touching everything" I was
    only being inquisitive.

    It's well signposted in the area to "Secret Nuclear Bunker" which doesn't
    seem to make it that much of a secret anymore.

    Brian Day
     
    Brian Day, Aug 3, 2006
    #8
  9. BGN

    ogden Guest

    The latter. There's a display at the site explaining the construction
    method. It's mostly an artificial hill, just a fucking big one.
     
    ogden, Aug 3, 2006
    #9
  10. BGN

    ogden Guest

    It's certainly not a bad way to kill a few hours.

    I've been there a couple of times, most recently about 2 years ago. It's
    a privately owned site, furnished on the cheap, so don't expect
    world-class facilities. It's very much a "this furniture looks like the
    kind of shit you might have had somewhere 30 years ago" affair, with a
    load of early 80s computer hardware thrown in for good measure (and an
    awful quality loop of Protect and Survive on an ancient telly). But if
    you can see through the poor exhibits, the facility itself (and some of
    the less desperate decoration) is pretty good, and it's not really very
    expensive.
    It may have been tarted up a bit in the last couple of years, but I
    really doubt it.

    As to the approach, it used to be a gravel (and rock and halfbrick)
    strewn track leading to a sloping gravel carpark, but they had at least
    tarmac'ed the track when I was last there.

    Bizarrely, unless they've changed it, you pay on the way out by putting
    your money in a tub by the exit. There's a notice nearby saying they
    have CCTV everywhere so they know who's trying to skip paying. Ho ho.
     
    ogden, Aug 3, 2006
    #10
  11. BGN

    catman Guest

    Yes. Very cool

    --
    Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
    Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
    Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
    Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
    www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk
     
    catman, Aug 3, 2006
    #11
  12. Hoyuss; I can see how that would be really secret.
     
    Grimly Curmudgeon, Aug 3, 2006
    #12
  13. BGN

    catman Guest

    Surprising as it seems, apparently it really was. The mast and
    everything, people just didn't think it was odd.

    Very odd looking 'farmhouse' when you get close enough.

    --
    Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
    Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
    Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
    Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
    www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk
     
    catman, Aug 3, 2006
    #13
  14. BGN

    Eiron Guest

    Is a gravely sloping car park steeper than a gravelly sloping car park?
    You probably can't find a gravely sloping gravelly car park as all the
    gravel would slide to the bottom end.
     
    Eiron, Aug 3, 2006
    #14
  15. Work in progress, Aug 3, 2006
    #15
  16. I used to pass a similar 'bungalow' on a plot of land somewhere in the
    Central Belt in Scotland. Oddly, there was a mast at the back of it the
    same height as that one in Essex. The land it sat on, about 5 acres, had
    that earth-worked appearance as if it had been dug up and re-laid, kind
    of like landscaping gone a bit wrong. Oh, and the whole plot was
    surrounded by a fairly typical MoD fence.

    I always suspected that was an underground bolt hole for the murine
    cunts in the Scottish Office or their equally pusillanimous counterparts
    from local government.
     
    Grimly Curmudgeon, Aug 4, 2006
    #16
  17. Whinging Courier, Aug 4, 2006
    #17
  18. BGN

    catman Guest

    Well, it's easy to tell. Launch a nuclear strike and see if the mast
    folds flat to avoid the blast.....

    --
    Catman MIB#14 SKoGA#6 TEAR#4 BOTAFOF#38 Apostle#21 COSOC#3
    Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright (Remove rust to reply)
    Alfa 116 Giulietta 3.0l (Really) Sprint 1.7 75 TS 156 TS S2
    Triumph Speed Triple: Black with extra black bits
    www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk
     
    catman, Aug 4, 2006
    #18
  19. BGN

    Dieseldes Guest

    There is one in Fife though I suspect there are more that we don't know
    about? , went to visit it last month, fascinating, There are parts that are
    still 'secret!' and it is run by a government orginisation, So I wonder how
    long if push came to shove it would get back into a usable state to protect
    our esteem members of the Scottish government.

    Des
     
    Dieseldes, Aug 4, 2006
    #19
  20. I went there a few(!) years ago with an old girlfriend. Every so often
    there are mock announcements over the tannoy system. At one point she
    asked me "are these announcements real?", the last one having been "1
    megaton airburst blast over St Albans. Heavy casualties" or somesuch.

    It worries me that she is now a doctor.

    Mark
     
    Mark Clements, Aug 4, 2006
    #20
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