Should have taken my iPod

I've just got in from the annual surgery on my mutilated finger and I
really wish I'd taken my iPod with me. I made the mistake of opting
for a local rather than a GA and though it didn't hurt the noise from
the grinder when the surgeon removed a section of bone then the drill
as he prepared to put two pins in was a bit disconcerting. The final
clincher was when he brought out a small hammer and knocked the pins
in but from what I can see he's bent the ends over so they don't snag
on gloves...

I've now got two weeks of sitting on my arse before the stitches come
out then another two weeks of being a bit careful before the pins come
out and hopefully I end up with a fused finger that needs no more
surgery.

The surgeon refused to set the finger where I wanted it to be because
he didn't agree that being able to get motorbike gloves on easily was
the most important factor but it'll be an improvement on what I was
putting up with previously so I didn't argue too much.

 

Sitting on your arse?

I think not. There's drinking and camping to be done.

 

They wanted me to go and have the stitches taken out at 6pm on the
Friday we go away but I've persuaded them to do the job in the morning
instead.

I must remember to take some plasters with me because last year I went
to the Stafford show the day after having the stitches removed and
ended up at the St Johns Ambulance tent having a dressing put on my
finger after opening it up riding the bike.

 

Well sure. You don't want to arrive at the site with open wounds.

Leaving with them is somewhat de rigeur though.

 

Superglue, YKIMS.

 

And jolly pleasant it looked too you manky ****.

 

You're not wrong - that's what they stuck[1] the tip of my finger back
on with

[1] medical version

 

I wish I'd taken some to France a few years ago when I had a 5p sized
hole in my leg.

 

Trust you to make an impending cystoscopy seem like an inconsequential
thing.

It hurts my socialist principles to be using private health insurance
but it made me chuckle when the consultant asked if I'd like a nurse to
hold my hand whilst he examined my prostate. So far so good, including
the kidney scan, pretty sure I'm not going to be dying from prostate
cancer any time soon. A bit dubious about the need for cystoscopy but
I'll take any reassurance I can get at the moment.

Did he offer to have a whip around for an eye patch and a parrot cap'n
"hook hand" Bonners sir ?

 

Heh, I had a nurse sitting chatting to me throughout the procedure and
when I commented on the noise she told me I was lucky I couldn't see
the bits of bone spraying everywhere!

I'm glad your scans have come up clear but you might as well get value
for money and let them do the cystoctopy.

All he said was that I wasn't to make a fool of him after he decided
to trust me enough not to put my hand in plaster. I'm not sure what he
meant but he also wanted confirmation that I wasn't planning on going
home on a the bike.

 

Heh. I went on the bike to get a wisdom tooth hacked out. When the head
hacker finished bollocking me, he gave me an extra injection to keep me
going until I got home & got me helmet off. Top bloke.

 

<wince>

 

That's quite similar to the French experience last year, while Bee fretted
outside. Local's are a great idea, I don't know why the NHS is so fixed on
General, coming round adds nothing to the experience. It was *great* being
able to watch the process (feeling nothing).

Hope it goes well for you and that's an end to the hassle.

 

I nearly spat out my lunchtime banana you ****.

BTW would you like to "manage" your situation and achieve retention of the
ST4?

 

Come the revolution comrade and we'll all have nurses to hold our hands
when the consultant sticks his finger up our arse ;-)

It's such a big issue with my ex that I'd prefer to get rid of it
completely so I don't have it hanging about at the back of my mind.

I like to think that I'm not overly sentimental about it but I'm sure
I'll be feeling pretty pissed off when it does go. It's a pity that she
doesn't quite understand that selling it is a dead loss, but I guess
that's yet another reason why I can't bear to live with her.

 

By then I will have fucked all the good looking nurses anyway

You realise the MARKET VALUE of that bike is disgustingly LOW.
I probably know a bloke in York who will buy it for this disgusting value.
Which you can pass on to your ex. Or half of it. He probably wont use it.
Or anything. And you can.