Something for the bikers.

My 18 yr old daughter has one of those[1]. You, sir, drive a girl's
car.

[1] In her defence it was dirt cheap for what it is and perfect as a
first car cos she and everyone else knows she'll destroy it..

 

The main headache with them (other than being badly built italian crap)
is the bloody steering. A choice between far too light to drive and
"**** me what was that" if the "girly" button is pressed.

A car that's actually worse than a Corsa, and that takes some doing.

 

Sir needs to try a Skoda Felicia...

 

Ah well, we get to play car hire roulette next week, so you never know.
Last time it was an Alfa 147 the time before that a Chrysler PT Cruiser.

Now the latter really does take the definition of 'crap' to a new low.

 

Ah, the Skoda Fellatio, good car - daughter's mum has just bought a
Skoda Labia.

 

<VVBG>

Hadn't heard either of those before.

 

I like both the punto and the felicia. They are actually designed to
take adult sized people.

The Corsa was made for little china doll sized pygmies with stumpy
little legs, a negative body mass index and a total lack of style taste.
--
Carl Robson
Audio stream: http://www.bouncing-czechs.com:8000/samtest
Homepage: http://www.bouncing-czechs.com
Now Playing at home:Rosetta Stone-Hiding In Waiting &lt;carrier&gt;
http://www.myspace.com/theelderuk

 

Hell Drivers is the new Max.

No bikes, just lorries and William Hartnell. Can't go wrong.

 

I've been riding my wifes bike for the last two weeks with no shame at
all. I'm only embarassed now by the number of wheels.

I find it noisy with dodgy steering (took me a day to find the girly
button Mr. Firth mentions) and it goes decidedly odd down the front end
if you brake hard firmly on a bend.

 

OK, I hate the Corsa, but at least the 1.2 16v engine and above are ok
for what they are. The felicia, on the other hand, is fucking hideous,
has an unrefined nail of an engine and is generally one of the worst
things I have ever driven, even if it does have decent room inside.

 

I have it on good authority that this is entirely true. A gentleman
dressed in a very nice uniform once told me that crimes against the
person are much easier to get away with than crimes against property
whilst I was at his place of employment discussing such mirror related
behavior. A car parked on my foot at the lights, refused to move his
car off said foot, and then thought it best to tell me to **** off.
Somewhat aggrieved by this somewhat mannerless and ınsensitive behavior.
I considered hitting said fuckwit very hard but instead foolishly
removed his mirror smashed it into little pieces and handed it to him.
With a tart rejoinder not to park on peoples feet lest they become a bit
irate at the pain and inconvenience of it and do something sılly.

The Wank Thomas Ballet shoes were then traded in for the Sidi Ãœber Boots
ın storm trooper black and white plastic. Resistant to all known HGVs.

 

Agreed. I was genuinely excited about getting my Triumph Acclaim back -
THAT'S how bad it was.

 

Generally supplied detuned, and strangled by emission controls.
The Felicia needed multipoint injection and the bigger valve head of the
facelift, to make similar power to the single twin choke carb of the
same engine fitted to the Rapid. By bolting together the right factory
bits, you can actually hang together a 100+bhp reliable engine.

Cam from a 1 litre S110R coupe.
block/crank from a Late model rapid/favorit/felicia.
Head from an MPi Felicia.
Ford RS2000 Valves and Rover V8 valve springs.
Factory Gooseneck manifold for a Rapid/Estelle, or shorty for a
Felicia/Favorit.
Twin 40DHLA.
Factory Group A for the Favorit/Felicia, or Group B for the
Rapid/Estelle, exhaust manifold and system.

Give everything a lighten and balance and it will rev to 8k instead of
5.5k with those rover springs before valve bounce.

The next step is a GEM ECU with bike throttle bodies and 150BHP+

not bad for a 1940's based 1.3 and no turbos.

 

Still **** all return for the cost, and it'll still be housed in a
Skoda.

 

With all due respect, by the time you've replaced and worked on the
block, crank, head, valves, manifold and ECU in any 1.3 car engine you
can probably make it produce 100+bhp.

(c:

 

I know you don't give a toss, but I used to drive one of those green
things. Heavy, noisy and dirty it was, but fun! 2nd Royal Tank
Regiment, 1974 - 1978. And I got to make some big bangs too. Titter..

"When I were a lad...."

 

With equal respect, why not just buy one with a bigger engine in the
first place, FFS?

<Looks at headers>

Oh, it's you lot. You won't understand that, will you?

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ DS#8
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2, IBB#10
`\|/`
`

 

And that cad, Stanley Baker.
--
Dave
GS850x2 XS650 SE6a

Teach a man to fish and he and his pikey mates will have the
river cleaned out in a day.

 

Because they didn't make one any bigger.
"'Cuse me mister why is your Kwakazukiyamada drag bike only 1300cc, why
didn't you buy one with a 4 litre engine instead of sticking a turbo and
nitrous on the little one?"

There was a 1.5 bore/stroke kit for the 1.3, but it was tricky to get
outside CZ as it was built in limited numbers through Skoda Motorsport
to meet the Kitcar regs.
--
Carl Robson
Audio stream: http://www.bouncing-czechs.com:8000/samtest
Homepage: http://www.bouncing-czechs.com
Now Playing at home:Rosetta Stone-Hiding In Waiting &lt;carrier&gt;
http://www.myspace.com/theelderuk

 

Well buy a different car then. It's not rocket science.

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ DS#8
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2, IBB#10
`\|/`
`