Surrender Monkeys

Cheese eating surrender monkey's that is.

I like rural France, really I do. I like the educated Parisians and
several of the classier parts of the city. The other 95% of Paris
convinces me that moving the Germans out was not altogether good
strategy. I remember a departed UKRM poster's regular rants about how
wonderful it all was. It is actually much more shit than most of the
shit parts of London.

Arriving at Charles De Gaulle airport one has a nice long walk,
outside, with cases etc. to get to the RER train station. Naturally
the automatic ticket machines are fucked so you queue for 10 minutes
at the window. Clutching the long awaited ticket one approaches the
turnstiles....

Three things really set them apart this week:

This is the *airport* station, most folk will have baggage. The gates
are designed such that you cannot get you and your luggage through the
gates before they lock again, waiting for the next ticket. One must
shuffle through, turn around, then lift all the cases over the
turnstile OR push the cases through first then jump over the
turnstile. Brilliant.

Naturally the escalator is broken so one bumps several large cases
down to the platform. The train arrives promptly, this is a dedicated
airport service.....WTF they use standard rail carriages with
nowhere, but nowhere, to stash large cases. By the time people
struggle on and block the aisles with luggage it is reminiscent of the
sorry scenes outside Auschwitz. Passengers at each station along the
way into Paris are greeted by an impenetrable wall of cases inside the
sliding doors, looking rather like an AC-DC concert Wall of Sound.

Disembarking at Gare du Nord the RER is 2 floors down from the station
exit. All, and I mean every_single_fucking_one of the escalators is
out of commission, probably permanently. There is a lift, it is broken
too, it probably never did work. There is no alternative for folk but
to run a shuttle up and down the 2 sets of stairs with their cases.
..
..
..
God Bless America

Oh my but watching the sunset from the top of the Eiffel Tower is a
treat though.
The Murano hotel can be recommended, Avenue de Temple.

'Hog

 

As most of the eastern "suburbs" appear to be practising for Nov 5 I
assume Paris will become the great shrinking city of Europe. Yes, yes
Paris is strictly the bit in the middle but so what.

Situation normal then.

Goodness not even LU is that bad ;-)

You may be moderately interested to know that a proper dedicated Airport
service is planned to run to Charles de Gaulle from Gare de L'Est. This
will remove the need to use the RER which I agree is not exactly
designed to take large quantities of luggage. It'll be a few years yet
before it's ready though.

However such special services are no guarantee of no hassle. The service
to Rome Termini operates with inter city type carriages which take 3
large steps to get into. Try that with piles of luggage while people are
trying to board and alight all at the same time. Oh and add in a
platform that is as wide as a snooker table at Termini and the fact that
it departs from platform 27 which is 1/4 mile away from the front of the
station. At a brisk pace it takes 6-8 minutes to reach the platforms as
you dart in and out of everyone else milling around. Only the Italians!

It's not normally that bad but I agree that the RER part of Gare du Nord
is especially depressing.

Anyway I thought Hogs were well off individuals who flew business class
and had their own private limos waiting for them? Not like you to slum
it with the trash of society.

 

Hmmm, I was being *treated*. Genuinely shocked by the poor state of
everything. They are on the way down the pan.
The hotel made up for it mostly.

'Hog

 

Well he's not doing too badly - between £217 and all points to £1698 per
night . . . . .

 

'Merkin business travel agents seem to get somewhat better rates than
that, I'm told. Paris is SO fucking expensive for Hotels.

The wine waiter loved being asked if they stocked any Californian
stuff ;o)

'Hog

 

That's just given me a great idea.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, 'Hog

<G>

Stunningly, the local Carrefour here (Montpellier) has a few (somewhat
dusty) bottles of Californian plonk.

And a *very* acceptable Chateau Neuf du Pape, for not much money.

<waves glass>

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

what else you been up to ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4404362.stm
--

http://Borg.no-ip.com

XJ900 Trike GS850 Trike

Some people are like slinkys....
no real use but it makes you smile when they fall down stairs!

 

I *must* remember that )

 

Oooh bit warmer and drier down there Sir! although Paris temp. was
perfect for a Ni^^^Porridge Wog
Oh yes and I forgot, Paris closes on a Tuesday....grrrrrrr

One of my Fav's, can't go wrong. Tesco had very reasonable deals on
2001

I shall wave a nice Rioja back shortly.

Business or pleasure?

'Hog

 

The rioting was minor until I appeared on the local Cable channel
suggesting that the CRS should stop using rubber bullets and just kill
every fucker on the block after 19:30.
"Couldn't stop the Germans, couldn't stop a bunch of wooly arsed Norf
Effricens either"

'Hog

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, 'Hog

This one's a two fahsand. S'ver' nahss.

Business. Five week trip. It's a *hoot*, thobut. Great team, good techie
toys[1] and a challenging target (which we're making great progress on).
I may award myself a day off on Saturday.

[1] I've got a whole proper grown-up *mainframe* to play with, and
nobody minds if I break it! Which (in my defence), I've only done once.

So far...

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

message

and talk loudly about what a great guy Pres. Bush is

I just checked, there *still* isn't an "imminent SOB arrival forcing
sale of beloved yamaha" thread.
Yo settin sum kinda personal record down there there m'boy

'Hog

 

Oh the 2000 Sir, excellent choice! I had the last one before heading
to the Continent

FIVE fucking weeks you spawny git

I've never had the pleasure!

'Hog

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, 'Hog

I've got a US Libertarian on my team.

And tomorrow is his last night before he heads home.

And you've just given me a terrible idea.

You bad man.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, 'Hog

Ah, that was the down side. With a capital 'D'.

Montpellier.

With Ryanair... <shudder>

They're cunts. Unspeakable cunts.

Who offer the only direct UK - Montpellier flights I could find.

On reflection, I should have flown to somewhere near-ish and got a taxi
or a train.

It was actually remarkably easy. But I don't think I'm allowed to say
how it was done. ;^)

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Sleazyjet from Gatwick twice a day? not that they are any better than
Ryanair

'Hog

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear

Five week trip. Fifteen kilo baggage allowance, hidden in the small
print[0]. *Totally* inflexible attitude, which more than doubled the
price of the "cheap" ticket[1]. Boarding "procedure" that would have the
Keystone Kops shaking their heads at the chaos, and a "**** you, it was
cheap" attitude to their punters that made me want to kill one of their
staff. Slowly. Very slowly.

Apart from that, it was spiffy.

I just hope to meet Michael O'Leary in a dark place sometime. I would
like a chat.

[0] Yes, yes, I know. But even the charter airlines have a > 15Kg
allowance!
[1] I have *never* paid excess baggage with a real airline. Ever, in
more than 20 years business travel. Until now.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

My friend in Paris was just such an animal, from Atlanta. It's an
endless round of confrontation! The vitriol of the Blue States can
very quickly be teased towards overturning certain tenants of
democracy. The irony is irresistible.

'Hog

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, 'Hog

They are, you know.

Much.

Gatwick's a PITA for me to get to, and that convinced me to go with
Paddyair.

Never again.

Seriously.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000