Taking a motorcycle helmet as hand luggage on a flight

Because their carrier codes are three letters, EZY. Two letter
carriers like BA, AA, ZB, etc. are scheduled airlines. Charter
carriers (EZY, TCX, FCA, TOM, etc.) do not list on GDS.

 

What bollocks. And I thought this was meant to be your job?

Tell me, who has the 2 character IATA code U2? And who has the 3
character ICAO code BAW?

 

Did you spot the "a couple of years ago"? It was just after the July
07 bomb attempts IIRC and they decreased the hand baggage to the size
of a very small hanky.

 

Me neither, but stopping at a shop on the way home and being asked to
remove a flip lid for health and safety reasons shows how ingrained
the pervasive fuckwittedness is.

 

It is.

slEazyJet and BA - but have you ever seen an EasyJet flight which was
called as U2, or a BA flight called as a BAW flight number?

 

No, but the fact remains that the difference between the 3 char and 3
char codes is the difference between IATA and ICAO, and not between
"scheduled" and "charter". Easyjet are not a charter airline by any
measurable criteria.

 

I hope you told them to **** off. "Health and Safety reasons", FFS.

 

I did and threw the basket at the security bod, still didn't get my
pint of milk mind.

 

Getting slightly back on topic, earlier this year I brought with me a
carburettor, after having asked less than a month before whether that
was acceptable to take on board, and was told "yes". But oh-oh, if I had
referred to one that had been in use, it was not possible. I didn't want
to ditch it and started inquiring why, since I earlier was told "yes".
If used, as opposed to in its original (sealed, presumably) packaging,
it would pose an explosion risk etc etc. My argument that I could buy a
lighter in the tax free kiosk, which would pose a greater explosion risk
was understood, but the security officer still wasn't keen on let me
through with it. After some further arguing and opening it to show that
it was completely free from any visible trace of fuel (and some other
arguments), I was in the end allowed to take it with me.

Airport security rules are made up by bureaucrats who are too detached
from reality to distingiush between real risks and annoying innocent
passengers.

 

Nicelt done, sir. For a minute or thirty I thought I might have to
google shit to argue the point, but thankfully you did it instead.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, ts

on the fly by someone who's paid minimum wage and only gets a giggle in
his otherwise incredibly dull day by fucking you over in the sure and
certain knowledge that you daren't argue because you'll miss your flight
and probably be arrested by another man whose IQ is less than the
measurement from the peak of his cap to the tip of his nose in microns.

<nods>

Oh yes.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "He's hopeless, but he's honest"

I have already made the greatest contribution to the fight against climate
change that I can make: I have decided not to breed. Now quit bugging me and
go and talk to the Catholics.

 

Probably. I'm quite surprised as a toblerone is a sold, not a liquid, so you
should have been able to take it through. Mind you, there's no point in
arguing the point, as you'll not win anyway.

In Heathrow, shortly after they announced no hand luggage at all, there
were queues going right outside T2 as they screwed it up big time.

Anyway even in France they can't make up their mind half the time. I've
seen different implementations of security policies between Orly and CDG,
so fcku knows who controls it all.

Ah, to keep you on your toes. At least in the US when you have 'SSSS' on your
boarding card, you know you're going to be stripped. Fuckers.

Sometimes the pins in my ankle set the detectors off. Sometimes they don't.

 

Yes.

I once had the little miniature tube of toothpaste from the onboard
vanity pack confiscated when I changed planes.

 

I wish my old Pa, with his tin leg, was still alive. That used to cause
problems sometimes, way before all this present shit started.

 

I've had different rules applied at different points in the same
airport, admittedly it was a 3rd world shite hole.

 

About the only thing I could think of was a BBC new announcer saying



"....the highjacker was seen brandishing chocolate and shouting ""take
me to cuba or the Stewardess with the nut allergy gets a mouthful""" .

 

You're not supposed to take the lighters onboard either (no i don't know
why they sell things in duty free that you can't take onboard). Pointing
out that duty free sell highly flammable liquids by the litrefull that
he couldn't stop you taking onboard might have been a better argument.

TBH I'm amazed that they still allow people to take duty free into the
cabin, I can't imagine that 3 or 4 suicide bombers setting off a couple
of motolov cocktails each would do the inside of an airliner much good.



but the security officer still wasn't keen on let me

Some are actually ok, ironically enough I was stopped by one at heathrow
when the metal detector went off. I commented that the only metal I had
on me was my wedding ring and the studs in my jeans and he was nice
enough to admit that I'd not actually set off the detector, it was
programmed to go off on random "false positives" to make sure that the
staff were awake and to make sure that they got to do a certain amount
of body searches every shift.

 

I've gone through Gatwick (Gat-nick)[1] with a loose shoulder sack and
my camera bag.

Security guy with an odd accent and even little IQ says I can't go
through.
Yes I can says me.
No you can't says him and before I can do anything off he goes to get
security.
He returns with security and by this time I have put my camera bag
inside the shoulder sack.
The idiot then accuses me of hiding my camera bag it in the airport
somewhere.
I then show the security guy that I have put it in the sack. He just
looks skywards shakes his head and waves me through with idiot shouting
after me "HE'S GOT TWO BAGS!"



[1] Stopped by HM Customs & Revenue on return from my last trip to Egypt
diving, he wants to know why I look so pissed off.

"You have just cost me a taxi fare to my hotel. Are YOU going to pay for
it?"

"Why's that." he asks.

"After a flight delay I had exactly the right length of time to get to
the courtesy phone before 11:30 PM, to get a free taxi. I've now missed
it, so I'll have to pay for one and add 40 minutes to my journey."

"I'll be as quick as possible!"

"There's no point I've missed the courtesy taxi."

"Can you open these bags please."

"NO!"

"Are you refusing to?"

"No, they are zip tied up with commercial zip ties. This is to stop the
people who work at Gat-nick from stealing my property. You do all have a
very bad reputation here. I'm not allowed to have a method of cutting
the zip ties on me and you are not allowed to have a sharp implement on
the customs floor. Therefore I can't open them. Over to you!"

He then fondles one of the dive bags and says I can go.

"Are you paying for my taxi!"

At this point I got a kick in the ankle from J so I moved on.

Queued at the taxi booth ordered and waited for a taxi and got to the
hotel 40 minutes late.

 

Glasgow?

 

Laphroaig Cask Strength 10 year old at 57.3% would burn.
But what a waste.

Who says you intend to get her into the cockpit. An empty first class
would do ;-)