The Annual UKRM "PAHND!" Award 2007.

It gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of the 2007 "PAHND!"
award, given for virtuoso auto-trumpet-blowing.

It's been a difficult decision. darsy's consistent "Oi am *considerably*
cleverer and better paid that yeow" efforts have been noted with
approval by the committee, but were ultimately eliminated on the grounds
that he probably can't help it.

Champ (as you may know) is ineligible on the grounds that someone else
should have some sort of chance. He does, however win a replica for
getting within 10000000% (above) the winner.

Bear is... Bear.

Porl made a good effort with the casually-placed
"Photo-of-self-with-fit-bird", but in the absence of proof that she
subsequently slept with him, fell at the final hurdle.

Cane's wanky-guitar-with-casually-placed-wife was ineligible due to its
posting date. Better luck next year, fellah.

Blaney. Ah, Blaney. The consistent "I nearly died in BFE" posts! Who can
forget. You'd have won, but we don't trust you to live long enough to
collect.

So many others made brief, but glorious attempts.

However, the jury[1] has deliberated, and hard as it has been, the
results are in.

<tears open envelope>

Step forward AntonyE! You may have won ****-all else this year, but this
one is all yours. As soon as I get the trophies finished, an award
ceremony will be arranged.

[1] Me.
--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer as featured in
Performance Bikes and Fast Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

Shame, I would have liked to see a photo finish result betwen Champ and
AE.

I think Ant would still have won though, by a nose.

 

<fx: Applause>

Congarats. Speech! Speech!

 

Missed that one!

 

Champ wrote

I thought current holders of the trophy were forbidden from entering the
next one, you are just encouraging him you are.

 

Appropriately enough, talking of falling, the night the pic was taken
she fell over and cut her knee quite badly.

 

porl says...

You're not fooling me into thinking she went weak at the knees when she
saw you.

 

Get a grip, man.

 

Left knee, right knee or Fanny?


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, porl

It's a bugger when the Rohypnol fucks up their motor skills, isn't it?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer as featured in
Performance Bikes and Fast Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

You won't be able to solve murders any faster.

 

I shall resist the urge to post the usual ukrm response [1] and instead
would like to make the following speech...

<unfolds papers>

First of all I must thank my sponsors, TecMoto
(http://www.tecmoto.co.uk/) and Mitch the Mechanic for not laughing too
hard when we took the bike to him for a belt change, only to find one
belt with plenty teeth missing a cuts nearly two thirds of the way
across due to leftovers from the kitty litter; to our other sponsor,
Essex County Choppers (http://www.essexcountychoppers.net/) for not
painting the bike gay pink, but making the heap of shit it previously
was look quite decent; to Veggie Dave at IQ18Films for the stickers,
t-shirts and dvds (and parties) as I guess this counts as sponsorship;
to Mark Bayley, our official team manager, pit bitch, gofer, emergency
mechanic, driver, polisher of helmets and general all round top bloke
who without his help I wouldn't have been able to progress as much as I
have in the last 12 months - this award is as much his as mine (but it
stays on my mantlepiece, ok) - and also for texting me this morning to
let me know because he is a long term ukrm lurker; to my adoring public
for their support (some of the time anyway) and kind messages; to my
wife and kids for putting up with it all and finally to thank baby
Jeebus for it all in the first place.

Thank you all, and to think you've only had 50% of the race reports!

See you all for more of the same in 2007.

[1] **** off, cunts.

 

Oh! You give it to *them*.

I've been taking Rohypnol like there was no tomorrow and waking up
thinking I must have exhausted them.

Bugger.