The International Council of Reeky Man Laws

The International Council of Reeky Man Laws, Ltd

1: Under no circumstances may two Reeky Men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a Reeky Man to cry ONLY under the following
circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Shania Twain starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Reeky Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be
legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, a Reeky Man must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a Reeky Man's fridge is
forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No Reeky Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of
the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, a Reeky
Man may ask the score of the game in progress, but may never ask who's
playing.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless model
and only when it's free.

11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13: If a Reeky Man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see
anything.

14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15: A Reeky Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
must remain sober enough to fight.

16: A Reeky Man should never hesitate to reach for the last beer or
the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

17: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

18: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set, and we can hit the showers!

20: Never talk to a Reeky Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all
other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation
you need.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird
and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before
the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for a Reeky Man to ride her bike. It is not
acceptable for her to ride yours.

24: A Reeky Man shalt not buy a bike in the colors of brown, pink,
lime green, or orange.

25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story.

26: There is no reason for Reeky Men to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.

We hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Reeky Man Laws, Ltd.





--


24 hours in a day
&
24 beer in a case

Coincidence?

I think not

 

......unless we have been drinking beer!

Phew, my mates sister will feel much better!

 

What! No Kawasakis?

I bought my wife a Playstation 2 a few years ago, I told her it was a DVD
player. She knew better. I still get shit for that one.

I'll add #26:

When leading a group of riders in a raging snowstorm, stop if you have to.
And let someone else lead if you are blind as a bat, even if you are on home
turf. Reeky man knows his limitations.

Bryan

 

Yeah that one just doesn't fit.

A Reeky Man demonstrates his wisdom by knowing his limits, but loses
all credits for following an equally blind man on a Venture.


--


24 hours in a day
&
24 beer in a case

Coincidence?

I think not

 

Top Post on purpose:
Mr. Cal Gary, you cannot imagine, how relieved we are over here on
tx-moto, that you cleared up the confusion.
I think I can speak for the 5 or 6 regulars on here, of how important
it is, that you took the time, and yes, effort, to share this with us.
I can assure you we will not forget it.
Much obliged. (;~}


(Calgary) 0riginal poster;
Topic; TICRML, 1 thru 26.
‘‘The International Council of Reeky Man Laws, Ltd.’’

1: Under no circumstances may two Reeky Men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a Reeky Man to cry ONLY under the following
circumstances:
        (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
        (b) The moment Shania Twain starts unbuttoning
her blouse.
        (c) After wrecking your boss's car.
        (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The
Crying Game".
        (e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Reeky Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be
legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, a Reeky Man must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a Reeky Man's fridge is
forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No Reeky Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly
optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the
birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, a Reeky
Man may ask the score of the game in progress, but may never ask who's
playing.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.
11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a Reeky Man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see
anything.
14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: A Reeky Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
must remain sober enough to fight.
16: A Reeky Man should never hesitate to reach for the last beer or
the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
17: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.
18: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
19: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
          a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
          b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
          c) Another set, and we can hit the
showers!
20: Never talk to a Reeky Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all
other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation
you need.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
23: It is acceptable for a Reeky Man to ride her bike. It is not
acceptable for her to ride yours.
24: A Reeky Man shalt not buy a bike in the colors of brown, pink,
lime green, or orange.
25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story.
26: There is no reason for Reeky Men to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Reeky Man Laws, Ltd. (Cal Ga Re)
24 hours in a day
&
24 beer in a case
Coincidence?
I think not?
Oh yes, it is definately a coincidence,you can bet your bottom dollar.
(bj)

 

Dog gone, I almost forgot about that one. Thanks!

 

Awww shit. Did you have to include brown?

Dammit.

http://marvin.towens.com/gallery/NART_forks

 

Forget the hills, there's not even a curve in a road for miles in any
direction <g>

Fortunately, if I head west for about 20 miles, I bang right into the
Rocky Mountains. The riding gets a bit more fun at that point.

 

Well, I've never met another Reeky Man IRL. But if it is raining, and
somehow I have reamined totally dry (and I assume I am riding
wherever) then I'm damn sure not going to let a little homophobia keep
me from staying dry.

A friend bails you out of jail... a real friend is in there grinning
joking about when next time will be.

Really, because usually I find it's the guy with the smallest gas
tank.

Reeky man drink whatever they please. You don't like it then I'll
slam this glass my frou-frou drink came in upside your head.

I'd think prison would be the WORST place to fight naked. I hate to
think of the experience you had that made you think this rule is
necessary. I know some people you can talk to about that.

Yeah, like that's a situation likely to happen.

I'd rather not here those phrases at all, but if I do they DAMN sure
better be lifting weights.

Not talking to them may be why you don't have sex often enough to
build up stamina.

I let my wife ride my bike the moment she asked. See answer to 21 -
you get a lot more flies with honey. The bike is just a thing, my
wife she's the best thing.

A man can pull off whatever color he wants and no one will say
anything other than behind his back.

Really, I got my wife jewelry in response. See 21+23.

They seem mostly gay to me.

 

Well, in your defense, you're probably a lot better man than the
average Reeky man.

You should be proud, or relieved, or both.

Otoh, guides like the Reeky Man Laws are indispensable to us weak,
mortal, mewling, fat, wannabes who make up the bulk (literally) of
average Reeky mandom.

 

Speak for yourself there ,tomorrow.....in my case replace 'wannabe' with
'hasbeen' and I'll agree!

 

And it weighs about as much as beer, so I think there's a couple of
problems with that name.

Al Moore
DoD 734

 

With my new titanium parts I'm less man than I was. But I do have
some pretty cool x-rays.

 

Titanium testicles?

 

LIES!.....Make mine three pints of larger and a packet of crisps please!

 

(muter, mutter f%#king mutter).....

larger Lager?

Feesh & Cheeps is an Aussie dish? to them we say Fush & Chups....

 

Ooops....mis-spelled mutten as well!!

 

I'm in favor. Also larger Bocks, Ales and other brews!

Al Moore
DoD 734

 

message

Just remember the beer law (supersedes ALL others)
states that beer can only be considered beer if it
consists of THREE and only THREE ingredients.
Those being the holy trinity of MALT, HOPS and
pure Water...nothing more nothing less so help me
beer. All others are naught but malt beverages.

--
Keith Schiffner
History does not record anywhere at any time a
religion that has any rational basis. Religion is
a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up
to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff,
most people do have a religion and spend time and
money on it and seem to derive considerable
pleasure from fiddling with it.
Robert Heinlein

 

Gonna be some mighty flat beer if you don't add some yeast,,,