the moon on a stick

I don't know any J2EE but I can pretend I do and then frantically try and
learnt it on the job. This has worked successfully for me in the past (if
not for my employers). Any good to you?

 

....or "paging any shit-hot J2EE developer contractors who can interview
tomorrow/Thursday and start next Monday"

I don't give a **** about "number of years experience" - I need people
who /know/ what they're fucking doing. Must haves:

J2EE
Struts
good SQL (Sybase for preference)
UML
v.strong OO design skills / design patterns experience
Financial markets exposure (though it's not a trading system)
Weblogic
JBuilder
ANT
JUnit
XML
HTML,CSS,Javascript yadda yadda yadda

preferences:

Scaffold
Clearcase
MQ Messaging
EJBs
JMeter

bonus skills:

French speaker.

Contract/Rate: 3 months @ ~525ukp/day + VAT

if interested: email to moononastick @ sticky dot co dot uk

 

I reckon that any job that *needs* to start next Monday will be
sufficiently panic stricken for nothing to actually happen for the first
couple of weeks allowing me plenty of time to get my head down with a J2EE
book, plus I can bring my own espresso maker with me and supply fresh
seasonal veg.

 

"your application has been unsuccesful at this time - thank you for
your interest, but please never contact us again".

 

that's possibly true. However, the job really needed to start a month
ago.

We have a suggestions scheme here - I'm going to put one through that
we adopt a new corporate slogan: "Hurry up and Wait".

 

Ignore him - he's nicked my CV.

 

<waves>

 

Hmm, apart from the bonus skills and Scaffold, that's me.

But I'm busy I'm afraid.

 

[loads on incomprehensible it stuff]

Get your firm to sub contract you to darsy - he's obviously in a fix and
he's got more money at his disposal.

 

My firm would want quite a bit more than 600 quid a day for me. About
4x that.

 

sure, but (hypothetical question) how much do *you* get paid...?

Anyway, I won't have any real problem of filling the role - I just
thought I'd offer it on here just in case...

 

Now you've given the job to Cane and me it's going to be /sorted/

As an aside - the more I think about breaking down the other day the more
I think I may have simply run out of petrol and the sneaky randomness of
that FUCKING alarm was just a distraction.

Perhaps I'd better actually check where that puddle of oil has actually
come from...

 

Oh aye, nowhere near that amount.

Yeah, you'll have no trouble finding someone to do that. Despite your
subject line, I think a skillset like that is actually fairly common
in J2EE circles.

 

Oh, and just to be fucking pedantic...

J2EE includes EJB.

 

I need people

I don't know about all that stuff but I can do;

DPRT
FLohm
Depps
SMtaskSmallMan
GrimAllow(II)
PlenAry
tOPsKILLS
4P09IK
Pork
TQR42script
DimProbDrvxpellair


Also

ER5
XT600E
Marin FRS
1290SA3+
350DusaXT

Does this help? This is a good game - I want to pay some more.

John

 

I thought that all along, but was too polite to bring it up...

 

well, you know, I knew that.

However, in a lot of our apps, we use "other stuff" - in this case,
Scaffold, and in others, more mainstream DB/O tiers like Hibernate.

 

when I get a job spec that includes the terms "a-levels" and "A2M" as
must-haves, I'll give you a call.

 

It can be our little secret.

 

No and in this instance it was solved by fucking about with the fuel pump
wiring, putting it on the side stand and then turning the tap to reserve
about half a mile later.

Although last time I did this travelling to/from a UKRM related house I'd
already selected reserve...