I had been thinking, that nothing really much happens on the commute to or from work, a journey of about 25 miles through Essex. Occasionally a deer crossing the road but hardly anything worth posting iyswim. Well this morning was nippy and a few leaves have started to fall, a bit of frost here and there but clear skies and decide the cbr6 is the tool for the day. Bit chilly, the bt020s seem to take a long time to warm up and make a chirpy noise under braking at the first roundabout... A few NSL miles later a left hander on the a128 which has in the past hidden a surprise or two approaches[1]. There are no hidden entrances and providing your positioned correctly, there is sufficient vision to safely progress at 60 maybe a bit more. There is no shoulder on either side, just wild hedgerow. Approaching the apex you can't quite see all the way to the LHS of the road ahead but you can see if it's obstructed by a fridge. Meanwhile unbeknown to me, from said hedgerow a pheasant takes a few steps onto the a128, wonders what the noise is, looks up and makes it's last decision. I guess i had a second of "fuck that's a big bird - moving slowly " "If it doesn't do anything stoopid we're ok"[2] "ok ... just-watch-the-road" But no, it decides the flight option is the survival reaction to take *THHEFFwwwump* Lots of things happen in no particular order, just what i can remember. pain in left hand, engine revs briefly bike flicks up and surges forward it feels like a tankslapper coming on something clips my shoulder saying Fuck rather loudly. and the line through the corner is ahem needing some immediate attention. Not over the centre line but too close on that bend. Then - normal service resumes.... a quick look in the LH mirror reveals nothing, it's folded right down hard against the fairing. It took me a little while to work out, it thumped full on into the clutch lever[3], which then momentarily wedged my hand between bars and lever, straightened the bike up and bounced up into my mirror and then off the shoulder.. No feathers anywhere on the bike but some blood on the screen and clutch lever, i did think later "You're not singing anymore". Sheesh my first birdstrike nearly had me orf. The way home tonight sees me pull out into a smallish gap on the a128 apply some beans to get promptly to the 30 limit, with the NSL maybe 200 yards ahead. About 50 yards i roll on the gas and i'm prolly doing 50 as i pass the sign. Blues. Arse, i have a running light out on the back so i guess its that or the can.[4] Pull over engine off asap [5] Gloves off, Lid off, ear plugs out.... one of Essex's finest is waiting to talk to me - he looks pretty unstressed so it's looking like a chat if i play the game right. "Good evening sir." "Good evening officer what seems to be the problem?" P: "Do you know why we stopped you?" "No, not really, i think i have a light out at the back?" P: "No, not that, you accelerated quickly out of that turning, and you looked like you were traveling quite quickly in the 30 limit." "Yes, bikes do accelerate very quickly you have to pay close attention especially in the 30 limits - do you ride a bike ?" P: "No - Err " Usual questions about where i was and where live and where i'm going. Subject gets onto bikes - How long have i been riding? Do you use your bike every day? How long have you had the bike? How old are you ? P: "Do you use this road often ?" "Yep it's dead straight but has a number of hidden dips, a few occasional deer at night. There have been a couple of nasty accidents along here over the last 12 months" I am told a tale of recent accident with fake plate on bike with two digits swapped and velcroed on. P: "... and why do you think they do that" "No idea - why?" P: "So they can avoid speed cameras - you'd think bikes should go slower than cars as they are less safe - far too many accidents involving bikes" At that moment i just *so* wanted to say something but i could read it[5] just by the light of the car, so i wasn't out of the woods yet. Mr Plod now looks down at the rear of the bike, reaches out .. ....and grabs the fully legal mega plate, gets hold of it and gives it a big wiggle and says "That's a very good plate" *sigh* P: "Have you been drinking?[7]" "Yep, a shandy[6] whilst playing snooker after work about an hour or so ago" P: *sighs* "I have to breathalyse you now" usual instructions, and by this stage matey in the driver seat is giving the "lets get on" signals. Sure enough breathalyser reads ZERO (yes in red and caps too) and i get to keep the plastic tube as a souvenir and told to take it easy and be careful, and the Essex plod head off into the night. The ride home was otherwise uneventful except the dead pheasant managed somehow to get to the other side of the road to when i last saw it. My first bird, and my first tug on a bike. woohoo! [1] broken down cars [2] yes, birdbrained birds are. [3] don't want to think what would happen if it slammed into the brake lever. [4] For some reason i'm actually quite looking forward to this - it's my first "pull" on a bike [5] Not for road use [6] two actually [7] I think i will answer "yes a shandy" even if i haven't.
