Top Tip: #387

If you spill Tabasco sauce on your fingers and don't wash them vigourously
afterwards, do NOT wipe the corner of your eye with one of said fingers 30
minutes later. It smarts like a motherfucker.

That is all.

 

good job you didn't scratch you're dangly bits. JDAMHIK.

 

apparently women don't like it when you insert a similarly every-so-
slightly chillied-up finger in their minge.

 

Nor, it is alleged, toothpaste.

 

God yes, they hate it when you stick your chillied finger in their
toothpaste.

 

I used to play rugby, wintergreen is much much worse on yer cock. I can say
this.

--
Nige, 'That's not my name'

Range Rover Td6 Vogue
BMW K1200S (off soon)
Suzuki GSX-R1000 K3
Focus ST3 (off soon)
Audi A3 Cab
BMW F800GS

 

Reminds me of the old story of the myopic fella that mixed up the tubes of
Anusol & Deep Heat.

 

I have mixed up Savlon and Sensodyne. Not nice before bed experience,
that.

 

Pah! After a pretty substantial nights boozing, just try mixing up
alka-seltzer and fucking Steradent! It certainly cleans you out.
"Plink-plink-fizz" be damned!

JB

 

Did his shoulder no good at all.

 

There's a family story of the ancestor who confused castor oil and
camphor oil.
It was in the good old days when you could buy anything from a chemist.
He killed his constipated wife and got away with it. Lucky man!

 

Many years ago, aged 14, I was training for a channel swim at an open air
unheated pool in January. So cold it had a thin skin of ice on it.
Whilst getting changed I thought "I know", and to keep my tackle warm I
sprayed it with Ralgex. **** me, but you've never seen anyone jump into
a frozen pool so fast in your life.

 

Chap I know mistook his missus's tube of immac for his tube of
Preparation H. Apparently that smarted a bit

--
Dan L

Too much time to think, too little to do.


http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/

2002 Triumph Sprint RS 955i (It's big, and it's black)
1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr (Gone, but not forgotten)

BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7/8)
X-FOT#000
DIAABTCOD #26
BOMB#18 (slow)
OMF#11

 

Hoping for an armpit ****?

 

It probably cleaned her out good style.

 

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj262/A1exF/DSC00018.jpg

 

Note the inclusion of the word team. I could probably swim about 10
metres of the channel so long as it was started with the wading in bit
;-)
--
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Did every member of the team[1] do the whole crossing, or was it a sort of
relay thing?

[1]B.E.S.T. Groan.

 

How valid was the team name by the end of the swim?

 

It was, of course, a relay, 6 of us. Though we were all aged 13/14 at
the time. The water was 52F (11C) and I was nearly hypothermic when they
pulled me out at the end of my second hour long stint. Being the strongest
swimmer in the group I got the shittiest sections, the second, swimming
against the tide for an hour solid maybe a mile off the French coast,
getting absolutely nowhere, the scene didn't change for the whole hour
and I was just a gibbering wreck when they pulled me out.

We also won the Lada junior relay trophy that year for the fastest
team across. Needless to say, we were probably also the only team
to attempt it that year.

Another useless fact...
We were only the second people from Shropshire to complete
a crossing, the first, being Captain Webb.

Heh, never noticed that.