Top tip

So, if you've just bought a dirt bike and realise that you don't really
know what you're doing...

It's probably best not to get too cocky and try to do jumps and 'stuff'.
Or at least, if you do it might be a good idea to wear some sort of
helmet and gloves.

'Cos if you don't you might follow my lead and jump over a mound, find
yourself unable to slow (odd that brakes don't work in the air) and then
once you do touch down with insufficient time to stop or turn you'll
grab the front brake hard... forcing the throttle open... and crash into
a fucking thorn tree growing on the side of a 20' mound of limestone and
clay.

Fortunately damage was limited to scratches; hand, face and scalp; scalp
one about six inches long, bled like a stuck pig^w fool.

Ouch. Will hurt later.

As a matter of principle I did get back on the bike after I'd cleaned up
and rode over the jump (but did not try to jump it).

Still think bikes are brilliant.

 

Should heal in time to ride the HUMM....

 

you're an inspiration to us all.

Still, you're not a real biker until you've tried to jump a C90 "field
bike" over a 4ft wide/6ft deep construction ditch, with about 6" of
water at the bottom, by means of a stolen plank and 4-5 bricks to
wedge it up.

It doesn't work, in case I need to state the obvious.

Took us ages to get that bike out of the ditch.

 

Well, ours was a quarry, but we used to do just the same

--


Nige,

Land Rover 90
Yamaha R1
Range Rover Vogue

 

it was the 2nd motorcycle I'd ever crashed; the first was my friend
Chris' Italjet 50cc scrambler, which I binned into the trees at the
bottom of his garden.

 

My first was a Bultaco 350 trails, i lost it bigtime & went through a larch
lap fence....second was a C90 over the quarry edge

--


Nige,

Land Rover 90
Yamaha R1
Range Rover Vogue

 

The first bike I ever crashed was my first bike, the moped. The second
bike I ever crashed was my second bike. The third bike I ever crashed
was my third bike...

 

hahah - how deep a drop?

 

this is when you were a pizza-boi?

sounds familiar. The list of bikes I haven't dropped is probably
shorter than the list of those I have.

I crashed my SZR660 and TRX850 about 3 times each, never seeming to do
them any real damage - great bikes, Yamahas.

On the other hand, first time I t-boned a Fiesta with my B1200, total
fucking write-off; fucking Suzukis.

 

Oh, yeah, good point.

The third and fourth bikes I ever crashed were a Honda Vision 50 and a
C90.

The fifth bike I ever crashed was my third bike...

It's probably easier to list the bikes I've ridden that I haven't
crashed at some point. I even managed to throw a DR-Z400 down the side
of a volcano.

 

'Bond villain lair'

--


Nige,

Land Rover 90
Yamaha R1
Range Rover Vogue

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique,
typed

You are a wonder and a source of inspiration, I salute you.

 

I do find myself worrying about what might happen when we do the
Tuareg and get to the massive sand dunes that allegedly infest parts
of the trip.

So do I.

 

is there an echo in here?

 

I only ever dropped a BMX bike over a quarry edge - that hurt like a
motherfucker - a *lot* of gravel rash.

 

Precisely why I'm in training.

I was flattered that you thought it was a good idea to contact me early
on about this trip on the basis that "I thought you were stupid enough
to be interested". Presume actions like this prove me worthy and/or
stupid enough.

Hmm. Discretion being the better part of valour and also it's hard to
concentrate when you've got blood on the bike and dripping from your
eyebrows.

I don't think I'm going to lie on my deathbed thinking "I wish I'd been
more careful". Much more likely that I'm going to think "I really
should have done more". Course I might not make it to a deathbed.

 

You're doing a wonderful job of proving my judgement to be bang on the
money. I suppose I should get myself off road for a few crashes as
soon as I can but I think that'll be after the power stations all go
back on line.

 

We used to live 100m from the edge of the quarry, it was always a source
of ultimate danger, from 20 feet snowdrifts we used to tunnel in..to
bikes flying over the edge, push or powered

I have more scars than you would believe

 

<snip>

A few photos are here.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8963323@N05/4714969166/in/photostream/

Head is a little sore now.

Suspect I won't be riding a motorbike (with a helmet on) for a few days.

Anyone got a turban I can borrow?

 

Ouch!