US troops security

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Colin Irvine

Call me an old cynic, but I suspect someone did.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
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Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

Colin wibbled...

CI> http://www.guardian.co.uk/diary/story/0,,1545868,00.html
CI> You couldn't make it up.

Or open it up apparentley.

 

... or how to ensure troop planes aren't hijacked.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/diary/story/0,,1545868,00.html

You couldn't make it up.

 

Looking at the second item there, you've got to think, a lot of the guys out
there on extended tours, really wanting to get home and see their families
etc...

"Guess what, darlings!"

 

Try the Guardian's Situations Vacant pages for the really funny
stuff. The Terrence Higgins Trust are currently seeking:

"A gay or bisexual male Health Promotion Specialist to deliver
services across Oxfordshire, to promote the health and well-being
of men who have sex with men. [....]

We are committed to equal opportunities and particularly
encourage applications from people with HIV"

riccip

 

riccip scribbled:

Makes perfect sense. No pension plan to worry about

At least he'll die happy delivering his "services" to needy males.

 

Mr Littlejohn? Is that you?

Seriously though, I find them hilarious myself. A gravy train if there ever
was one. These organisations ostensibly seek to help disadvantaged people,
but in my eyes the only people they help are overqualified (And usually well
moneyed) lefties from Islington.

Neil

 

Apparently not.

I have it on good authority that "Soldier", the Government's
propoganda magazine for the British Army, many months ago highlighted
that this was happening to troops heading for Iraq and Afghanistan
through RAF Brize Norton. The CAA insists on it.

 

Halla scribbled:

Cause if he has Aids he'll die before pensionable age.

He'll be happy after shagging his way round the gay men of Oxfordshire.

No, the second sentence wasn't referring to transmitting HIV to others!
Just pure hedonism.

 

Halla scribbled:

Good to hear. And not because hetros now have/spread HIV, but cause its
a horrible virus.

You're being serious here. The serious % of my original post was 0%. Of
course I'm aware that gay people can be as monagamous as hetros, and
fall in love, etc, etc.

Do you believe there are purely gay/hetro people? Or that we're all
somewhere between the two?

 

I think you're somewhere between 1973 and 1981, if that helps.

 

Bear says...

There's more purple on the blue 9Rs. I'm getting the Maxton shock on
the Gixer resprung by Harris with an Ohlins spring, purely to rid it of
the purple one Maxton fitted.

 

Not sure it's jealousy, a little wariness possibly. But in my
experience it's true, it is easier for gays to get laid. Before
I'm accused of stereotyping I do accept that a great many gay men
are monogamous and/or celibate. However gay blokes who are active
on the scene are generally more promiscuous and can get a shag
simply by attending any of a growing number of social
establishments.

Heteros have to work bloody hard to achieve the same result
spending a fortune and promising undying love & respect into the
bargain, with the added risk of a rape charge after she sobers up
the following morning.

riccip

 

Speaking as a pudgy, speccy, cantankerous, curmudgeonly **** of a
"hetero", if you think it's hard to get laid without promising
undying love & respect or risking a rape charge, then you're even
more out of touch with reality than I'd hitherto given you credit.

There's a world of flange out there for the taking. Only some of it
comes with conditions, and even they're negotiable.

 

We're talking about getting an impromptu one-night stand. Say if
your average straight bloke is staying overnight in a city, any
city, and he's up for a shag. He's seeking a proper sexual
encounter here, not a prozzie. A quick spray of Gillette and he
heads for the clubs.

Cutting through the BS he's maybe got a 10% chance at best of
successfully scoring (although no doubt most heteros would insist
theirs would be more around the 200% mark). Most likely he'll be
returning to his hotel room with just a bottle for company. Next
morning he wakes up with that pillow-mint melted all down his
face and a splitting headache feeling an utter failure.

If he was gay a quick shufty through the Gay Times guide tells
him where the action is and within a couple of hours he's
settling down with a new partner for the night. No hassle, no
strings, no worries. Gays have got it made.

riccip

 

riccip says...

Closer to 3% actually, according to a report I once read. Going by this
mates of mine will ask 33 girls for a shag knowing pretty well that one
of them will go along with it. That's not my style, I find one
attractive girl and ask her 33 times until she gives in just to get rid
of me.

You seem to know an awful lot about this.

 

No more difficult, if you're prepared to lower your standards a bit.
Hell, I've been there. Never lowered them enough to _shag_ a bloke,
but what is hetero anyway?

 

Short for heterosexual, means 'straight'. I'm not promoting being
gay as an alternative sexuality, I'll leave that to the teachers
in our kid's schools. Just commenting that in the hetero world we
have to do all the running whilst most women assume their
traditional role of playing hard-to-get, at least the one's that
are worth shagging anyway.

With gays it's more of a consentual agreement from the outset.
Both male partners know what they want and are under no illusions
of what's taking place. OTOH women want to be seduced and
persuaded the forthcoming encounter will have some deep meaning
on an emotional level, whereas the man just wants to shoot his
load.

Even in bed it's the male who's expected to elevate the female to
new heights of sexual bliss so we're forced to waste valuable
shagging time on foreplay. We should get a finder's fee for
locating that damned clitoris, charged at 50 quid for the first
20 mins then 25 notes thereafter per additional quarter hour. And
danger money for licking the smelly thing. Would it spoil the
moment if the man whipped out a packet of antisceptic wipes?

riccip

 

What a load of utter nonsense - IME, of course. If only it was that easy
I'd be a lot happier with one dimension of my life.

I see very little difference between gay and straight people as to the
mating "rituals" and the likelihood of success or failure and the
sustainability or otherwise of any "relationship" that may develop.

 

Bear says...

"Purple has no place on a motorcycle"