Why won't it start?

NC 24 has been tucked away on the optimate (Halford's version) which
shows a green light, having recovered it from red. Having been sat on
the M1 today I want to take the bike tomorrow.

I disconnect the optimate, unplug them minus then plus connections.

I put the key in, turn it, put the choke on, hit start and nothing,
nada, zip. I've quickly checked obvious stuff like kill switch and
connections.

Now what?

Oh and hello, have I missed anything so far this year?

 

Yeah, they're thinking of outlawing breastfeeding in public, and women
now have to cover their legs below the knee.

D.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Lady Nina

Have you got lights, horn, indicators, that kinda shit?

Not a lot. I was idly wondering to myself only this morning whether you
were still alive.

I'm glad you are.

 

No lights, no thing.

 

No

Yes. Busy, in a good way.

Aw fanks, you're still my favourite ewok.

 

You're a bit premature, Des. It will be at least 20 years before Sharia
is the United Kingdom's only law.

 

Sentimental old fool

P.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Lady Nina

Battery's probably fucked, then. What says the Optimate-alike now?

Oh, and you *did* unplug the connections carefully, didn't you? No big
blue sparks and "KKKKKKZZZZZZATTT!" noises?

 

You sure ..?

<http://creepingsharia.wordpress.com/>

D.

 

Sounds battery related.

If you attach a 12v charger to it (not an optimate) or a known, good
battery (that starts something else ok) do you get lights then ?

If not, could be a main fuse.

If you have lights that dim when you press the starter, that's a good
sign, well, better than no lights ..

Paul.

 

Surely I'd get the pathetic wheezing that led me to put it on the
optimate in the first place?

I've not plugged it back in, it's cold in that garage. Besides, I
might break a nail.

Yes, I read the instructions and everything.

Enough of your electrode fantasies.

<quiet aside>

Email me them PFCT;

</quiet aside>

 

Guess so.

Hmmm, I don't think I have one. I've got a 6V one for the benly.

Only known good battery is in the car, sod removing that at this time
of night.

Dunno guv, I've gone for the sod that option.

I have no idea where my fusy checky thing (multimeter?) is. I think I
may have lent it to someone and never got it back. I really need to
sort that garage out.

Lights that dim would make me happy.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Lady Nina

Not if a cell has broken down completely. That there would be an dead
battery. Bereft of life. Gorn to join the choir invisibule.

An ex-battery.

Zymurgy's idea of hooking it up to a charger is a good one. *DO NOT*
press the start button if it powers up when you do that. The charger
can't supply enough power. TBH, I've never been daft enough to try it,
and I doubt anything bad would happen, but it might just create a black
hole and fill the place with Higg's Bosons. And you don't want that.

Pah! Have you tried fluttering your eyelashes at it. That can work
sometimes, apparently.

"You can't handle the truth"

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear

<sidles up to Bear, nuzzles ear>

 

<hurriedly checks dungeon>

No, all fine there, just the usual anguished screams of the damned.

You blatant, blatant 306b er. Don't just sit there looking proud of
yourself, it's shameful. Standards have slipped.

If it wasn't too late for shops that sell these things to be open I'd
go and get one. As I'm leaving at 7.30am and then off out tomorrow
night I think we can now safely say this is Michael's problem.

But, but it's a big red button, big red buttons are there to be
pressed.

It would make Ivan happy though.

I'm all out of flutter.

Bring it on.

 

On Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:15:49 +0000, Wicked Uncle Nigel

snip>

I've started bikes with the battery charger connected and only died
for 30 seconds.

If the charger is a heavy duty one then I fail to see what the problem
is. I did it several times in the good old days when the only battery
chargers available were heavy duty car ones and I needed to start the
bike to get to work and if I needed to start the bike in a hurry now
I'd connect it to a car battery charger and hit the switch.

 

Look, it's a thread started by me, you don't like me, I don't like
you. You know this. Why on earth bother reading it?

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear

Oh, you *hurtful* ****.

 

You're lucky, the lack of oxygen to the brain *shouldn't* have affected
anything.

--
Malc

Rusted and ropy.
Dog-eared old copy.
Vintage and classic,
or just plain Jurassic:
all words to describe me.