Women

Why do I seem to attract the fucking nutters, weirdos and other
malcontents?

Well, that there might've been a slight exaggeration but my over the
road neighbour had got a coffee table and rug going begging. I said I'd
have it and would collect it at such-and-such a time and the deal was
done. They weren't in. "When you coming to collect it?" she says. "I
tried" says I. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've tried phoning and
I've been round there twice and there's no answer. Now I'm getting a
load of abusive fucking texts saying I "ain't got the balls to say I
don't want it". It's only a shitty fucking coffee table and a rug FFS.

She'd make a fucking awesome internet troll.

 

Whinging Courier says...

You too huh?

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Lozzo amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

Heh, thanks )

 

At least you can spot them, the mistake is marrying one.

:0

 

Yebbut, you have your reputation to consider.

Heh, sir tony in drag

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)

My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R (Going)
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X (Patio Ornament)
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

There's another sort of woman? Apart from the repetetive
bunny-boiling sort that calls Loz every two minutes for a week ... ?

They're all the fucking same - a different species. I don't
understand them, and I'm sure that the first bloke that does and
writes a book giving the rest of us the griff will become a
millionaire in short order.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Pip amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

I suppose that's my point. They do seem, for all intents and purposes
normal, then they let the odd "squeak" out and if they think they can
get away with that then it's all down hill from they, me laddo.

I just want to find one that give me the sort of shit that I *don't*
give a shit about IYSWIM, but they all seem to find that same fucking
thing that winds me up.

 

"Pressing all the right (wrong) buttons"

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Pip amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

I've heard this expression before.

Why the **** do they do it?

 

Because they can.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, muddy amazed us all with this pearl of wisdom:

That's not very helpful.

 

Consider this.

Women: If you couldn't **** them, would you bother?

We put up with the hormones, the mood swings, the shopping etc..
because in the back of our minds we think that, if we keep them happy,
we might get a shag.

Now, hypothetically, imagine a world where you couldn't/didn't ****
them. Would you put up with any of her crap? ..or would you knock the
bitch out?

 

You need one of those foreign girls that only knows one word of English,
"Yes".

 

muddy scribbled on the back of a napkin:

Or the three words "Me so horny"...

I've heard the rumour that an English accent may have that effect on
American girls...

 

"If I say something and you invent two meanings from it, and one of
them upsets you, I meant the other one"

 

Pip, you're absolutely spot on. Thank goodness.

 

You're such a romantic.

 

It's fun. Lots of fun. Think of it as revenge for the fact we know you
(generic) only deal with us because you want a shag.

 

Can I state for the record that I don't want to shag you.

Thanks.

 

I can't remember which comedian said it, but it's true.

Women use sex to get what they want.

Men just want sex.