Woodland Alliance: Revirginated Turdus

I popped out onto the patio (at the new place) for a fag, in the
time-honoured manner. Adopting the sore-back-stretching crouch, I was
at peace with the world, puffing away. Well, I was until a small
black object whistled past my ear, from an apparently empty sky.

"Could have had my bloody eye out", I thought.

"Bastard!" I exclaimed.

On examination, the poorly-guided missile turned out not to be a
miniature Barnes Wallis-style bouncing bomb, buit a very ripe cherry,
the skin of which had apparently ripped in-beak and subsequently split
on impact.

We have resident blackbirds here, that have discovered a local tree
which must still carry cherries (the buggers usually strip trees of
their fruit long before any semblance of ripeness or usability by
humans is attained) as they've been smuggling them about and scoffing
them down in shady corners for days.

I'd obviously provided a tempting target this morning, crouched in
bright sunlight in the angle of patio and wall - so a blackbird
decided to lob one at me.

After examination of the ordnance, I thought it prudent to return it,
so lobbed it gently across the lawn, where it came to rest in an
easily visible area. Out of the corner of a carefully-placed ginger
eye, I watched a stealthy Turdus merula, the common blackbird, sidle
by sideways hops from the concelament of a handy low-growing shrub,
while whistling casually through an innocently-pursed beak until
within cherry-stabbing range.

A flick of the head and the cherry was impaled again; a flutter into
the lower branches of a convenient conifer and, Ladies and Gennelmen,
the Blackbird had its cherry back.

I hope the stone sticks in its sphincter.

 

Well if it's any consulation, one of their number, of the female
variety, was waiting for us in the hall when we got back home tonight.
Clean kill, hardly even plucked. Cats obviously got bored once it was
dead, and presumably just weren't hungry enough.

--
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..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (b.rogers at ifrance.com)
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