"You bikers must get all the fun"

On my way back from Rod's place tonight I stopped off for a cigarette
on the Leas Cliff, so I could look over the French coast and the sea,
the stars and the like.

Parked up bike, attached helmet & gloves to it and went and found a
bench to sit on.

Shortly after sitting down and lighting up on a darkened bench a tall
dark stranger came along and wished me a good evening.

Me: "Good evening to you as well."
Tall Dark Stranger: "Lovely night, isn't it?"
Me: "Yes, but with a danger of rain."
TDS: "Nothing wrong with a bit of danger, Biker Boy."
Me: <bemused> "I guess not, makes life a bit more exciting."
...and I thought nothing of it, TDS walked off and I carried on
with my cigarette.

TDS: <walks back five minutes later> "Hello again."
Me: "Hello."
TDS: <sits down next to me> "Would you like a cigarette?"
Me: "Oh, okay. Would you like a big one?"
TDS: "Yes." <He gives me a Benson & Hedges, and I give him a
one of my Superkings."
Me: "It's a shame winter's coming."
TDS: "Yes, is that your bike over there?"
Me: "Yes. I only stopped off to have a quick fag."
TDS: "That's all I stopped off for too"
Me: <Glances at TDS and noticed lack of motorcycle gear> Just
out for a walk?"
TDS: "And a fag."
Me: <innocently> "Got one. At least it's not raining yet."
<a few minutes pass and we talk about politics, etc. while
TDS has what I think is a scratch>
"Having an attack of the fleas?"
TDS: "I'm not as young as you, it sometimes takes me a while."
Me: <boggles> "I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I think I'm going
deaf in my old age."
TDS: "I'm nearly there. You bikers must get all the fun. We don't
see you down here often."
Me: "Erm." <glances over to see what he's 'scratching'> "Oh!"
TDS: "Wanna give me a hand?" <Puts hand on my shoulder>
Me: <looks DOWN to see what's in his hand and notice that it's his
'Mr. Whippy' who is obviously a bit excited> "Err, sorry, I
think you've misunderstood me. I'm sorry."
<Stand up and say sorry again and again and try to make a
quick exit>
TDS: "We can go down to the cliff if you feel more comfortable,
Biker Boy."
Me: "No no, no that's not what I meant. Sorry, but I need to go."
TDS: "Can you accommodate?"
Me: "No! No, I can't, I didn't realise. I'm sorry."
TDS: <gets nervous>
Me: "I didn't mean..."
TDS: "You're not with the pigs, are you?"
Me: "No, you carry on, I'm sorry to have bothered you."
TDS: <Puts Mr. Whippy away and then runs off faster than I've
ever seen anyone run before>

Fucking hell! You need to be careful where you park on the Kent
coast! It's not even late at night! I *do not* need an indecency in
public charge on my records! Fucking hell. I'm so innocent to the
world.

 

Ever considered a career with Mills and Boon?

 

So you finally got to meet Sir.Tony!

 

I used to do a lot of writing. I even wrote for some media magazines
and have had some shit in digiNEWS before relating to BSkyB and their
old Open service. Exclusive interviews and the like. But I haven't
done any writing for a long time, and my grammar has gone to shit.
Perfect for Mills & Boon!

 

"BGN" wrota :

It was a French Gold Wing rider, I guess, ... ?

 

BGN says...

You're never going to convince me that you of all people didn't at some
point look down and try to get an idea of the size of his packet while
you were talking.

--
Lozzo
Track pixie
GSX-R1000 K1
I haven't lost my mind, it's
backed up to a floppy disc
that's around here somewhere.

 

My alarm bells were ringing at the mention of a tall dark stranger on a
park bench in the dark. I struggle to believe that you didn't pick up
any clues whatsoever from the initial stages of this encounter. Surely
your non verbal signals and ability to read them *must* have kicked in?

You'd never cope in London, sweetie pie.

 

It's the double entendre thing that cracks me up

 

This didn't strike you as a little strange...

HA HA HA

Oh, you just couldn't make it up. PMSL.

 

It's not often that handsome people come and sit next to me, you see.

At least in London one would be expecting it, daarn ere in da cun'ree
things like this don't often happen.

 

Obviously the TDS was wearing a gaydar-absorbent coating.

 

You've got to watch these itinerant ice cream sellers. Have it away with
your 99, they would.

--

Dave

GS850 x2 XS650SE / SE 6a

I demand nothing of you except that you amuse me.

 

(In a totally straight way...)

Hey! We just camp next to you and help put *your* fucking tent up!



Dave

 

You didn't by any chance have your new number plate on the bike did you?

If not, I bet he saw your flowery duvet cover and was overcome with lust.

 

serious question, assuming tis a true tale...


why were you ____so___ fucking polite?

 

I was looking for you, but didn't see you.

I was going to scream "You daft bugger!!!"

 

It wasn't a fucking tent. No fucking went on in it at all.

 

I'm only rude to people that I know, or people that have been nasty to
me.

While getting ones willy out in public is frowned upon, I had
obviously stopped off in some cruising area and was sitting on a
darkened park bench at night, talking about big ones and fags. If I
had been dismissive then he probably wouldn't have got his flexible
friend out. I was obviously giving out all of the right signals, so I
really have to take at least some of the responsibility for the
misunderstanding. This is why I apologised.

If someone had caused you to get your willy out (in any area) and had
then been really rude to you, it could have been damaging and rude.

Perhaps it was the old Samaritan in me

 

Oh BGN! What's up with you, you silly bugger? You could have been up for
some bum-fun there, you could have got some cock!
--
Gyp BOTAFOT#99, BotToS#4, UKRMT5BB, DIAABTCOD#28, HYPO#4
'81 R65RS - SORN but not forgotten
'89 R80RT - intercontinental ballistic tourer
'97 XLH1200 - weapon of muff disruption
'04 Z750 - oh look, something from this millennium
Take out the chemical loo to reply

 

Did you mean something like:

"Let's see all of it then"

"This is all there is"

"Oh"

I remember being in a family changing room at local pool when our
youngest looked at me and said "What's that?". After having it explained
by mummy, she came back with "It looks like a worm".