You know you've been reading too much ukrm when...

Discussion in 'UK Motorcycles' started by MattG, Sep 12, 2006.

  1. MattG

    MattG Guest

    Just called in to the mini Tesco down the road and there are loads of
    police about. It seems they've closed off one of the local roads due to
    a "serious incident", the woman in the shop was complaining as she
    couldn't get home and says "what am I going to do?"

    The phrase "Move to a less pikey area" very nearly escaped my lips.
     
    MattG, Sep 12, 2006
    #1
    1. Advertisements

  2. In uk.rec.motorcycles, MattG belched forth and ejected the following:
    That happens to me a lot.

    Quite apart from calling complete strangers "****" to their face, I find
    myself using "molish" and "it's fucked, I'll give you a tenner for it".
     
    Whinging Courier, Sep 12, 2006
    #2
    1. Advertisements

  3. MattG

    Slider Guest

    [snip]

    So this is how you got into trouble with that fat bird?
     
    Slider, Sep 12, 2006
    #3
  4. In uk.rec.motorcycles, Slider belched forth and ejected the following:
    No, I got into trouble with the fat bird because like a lot of blokes,
    the penis rules the head :)
     
    Whinging Courier, Sep 13, 2006
    #4
  5. MattG

    Big Dave Guest

    Angle grinder...
     
    Big Dave, Sep 13, 2006
    #5
  6. MattG

    Ken Guest


    More likely your fucking desparate, and wanted a change from
    wanking......................lol

    k
     
    Ken, Sep 13, 2006
    #6
  7. Yep, that's the one I suffer from. UKRM has demoted the word '****' in
    my mind to the status of a mild comedic rebute to be used in every day
    language.

    Not good.
     
    toad_oftoadhall, Sep 13, 2006
    #7
  8. MattG

    marina Guest

    Yep. Last week I called my esteemed management team "a shower of
    cunts" in conversation with my fragile colleagues.

    --
    Marina Mayes - Reading, UK. To email me remove XX from my address
    SR250 - on the road again. BOTAFOT12, BOD#2, BOTAFOS#2
    KotLBOD#s, KotLBOTAFOS#s,IMC#2, Tart#10-19, SR#3
    I never give in to fear or blackmail; I always give in to temptation.
    "You're a national treasure" - porl, 18.1.03
     
    marina, Sep 13, 2006
    #8
  9. MattG

    darsy Guest

    on the last TOG tour I did (years ago), I'd arranged to meet someone
    at a Little Chef on the (I think) A2. I got to one, and by a certain
    point reckoned I was at the wrong one - I went inside and asked one of
    the staff if there was another "Little Thief" in the area.
     
    darsy, Sep 13, 2006
    #9
  10. LOL! - what *was* their reaction? Did any need hospital treatment?
     
    Paul Corfield, Sep 13, 2006
    #10
  11. In uk.rec.motorcycles, Ken belched forth and ejected the following:
    Christ, it's not the school holidays already is it?
     
    Whinging Courier, Sep 13, 2006
    #11
  12. In uk.rec.motorcycles, belched forth and ejected the following:
    "Pontificating flange" may well be the next.
     
    Whinging Courier, Sep 13, 2006
    #12
  13. In uk.rec.motorcycles, marina belched forth and ejected the following:
    Yup, I remember telling one of the transport managers that that's who
    the place was run by, too :)

    Suddenly it becomes clear.

    I don't have issues, it's UKRM's fault!
     
    Whinging Courier, Sep 13, 2006
    #13
  14. "You're" and "desperate", you thick ****. If you must act the way you do the
    least you could do is spell correctly.

    Si
     
    Mungo \Two Sheds\ Toadfoot, Sep 13, 2006
    #14
  15. They probably wanted to say the same.
     
    Grimly Curmudgeon, Sep 13, 2006
    #15
  16. MattG

    marina Guest

    Not quite; there was a silence, during which time I reflected that I
    should perhaps have chosen different words. Then "What did you say?"
    and I duly repeated it. Then rather nervous laughter. I did not
    apologise.

    --
    Marina Mayes - Reading, UK. To email me remove XX from my address
    SR250 - on the road again. BOTAFOT12, BOD#2, BOTAFOS#2
    KotLBOD#s, KotLBOTAFOS#s,IMC#2, Tart#10-19, SR#3
    I never give in to fear or blackmail; I always give in to temptation.
    "You're a national treasure" - porl, 18.1.03
     
    marina, Sep 13, 2006
    #16
  17. MattG

    MattG Guest

    They'll be used to that. The first time I encountered the term was from
    my housemate at uni, he worked for them and picked it up from his
    colleagues.
     
    MattG, Sep 13, 2006
    #17
  18. <g>

    <pause for thought>

    I guess that, on reflection, what you did was what I would expect you to
    do IYSWIM.
     
    Paul Corfield, Sep 13, 2006
    #18
  19. MattG

    Pete Fisher Guest

    What was the official UKRM term for a 'Happy Eater'? My mates used to
    favour 'Grim Consumer'.

    Apropos of that this made me laugh:

    http://travel.guardian.co.uk/restaurants/story/0,13739,1449178,00.html
    --

    +-----------------------------------------------------------------+
    | Pete Fisher at Home: |
    | Voxan Roadster Moto Guzzi Mille GT/Squire RS3 Gilera Nordwest |
    | Gilera GFR Moto Morini 2C/375 |
    +-----------------------------------------------------------------+
     
    Pete Fisher, Sep 13, 2006
    #19
  20. In uk.rec.motorcycles, Pete Fisher belched forth and ejected the
    following:
    This made me laugh:
    "And let us spare a thought for the now-defunct Happy Eater chain of
    roadside diners, which was doomed from the start for two reasons: first,
    because its logo was a bald, fat, crapulent chef with his fingers down
    his own throat (seemingly in an attempt to induce vomiting)"

    And this:
    "Looking up from the glumness on my plate, I observed the equally glum
    clientele. The sort of people who regard Angus Steak Houses as
    dangerously bohemian and are unperturbed by the stink of rancid
    vegetable oil and stale cigarette smoke that hangs in the air like a low
    cloud over a mountain. As industrial-strength disinfectant was sprayed
    on to the tables around me (and the mist floated on to my plate), I
    noticed one spotty youth in the smoking section whose protracted nose-
    picking session became so involved that I feared his head would cave
    in."
     
    Whinging Courier, Sep 14, 2006
    #20
    1. Advertisements

Ask a Question

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

You'll need to choose a username for the site, which only take a couple of moments (here). After that, you can post your question and our members will help you out.