Your ideal cafe?

SO's just bought a cafe. I think this is an extreme case of 'eyes
bigger than belly' syndrome, as she's been a mortgage advisor for the
last 15 years, & never worked in catering. But anyway, the deed is
done, & she has a blank sheet to work from.

so the question is, what are the prime requisites for a *good* cafe? I
presume tasty food & good value are pretty important to most people,
but what's the 'X-factor' that makes somewhere stand out?

I'll see if I can convince her to do an alt.2eggs & UKRM[1] discount
scheme for anyone with the secret password ;-)

[1] X-posted to UKRM as it will be a very biker-friendly cafe[2].
[2] What makes a cafe biker-friendly - visor cleaning kit on the
counter?

 

Being just untrendy enough to avoid attracting the local scrotes, whilst
still doing the good food and friendly welcome bit would be a good start

Space. Space to get into a chair without bumping into other tables/chair.
Space to put you lid without it having to sit on the floor. That sort of
thing.

HTH

Dave

 

cleanliness, a good range of low-calorie alternatives to fried food,
and no fucking manky bikers.

 

Krusty emerged from their own little world to say

free doughnuts for traffic cops should keep them off the roads

 

Oh my word, that would be jolly.

 

even in private booths?

Hog

 

Krusty wrote:
[snip]

Good customer service.
Enough space to move around
A clear, unambiguous menu which can be easily seen before entry
A wide range of food/diet types i.e. not just sandwiches, pastries and
cakes.



--
Martin:
"For a minute there, you bored me to death."
VTR1000 Firestorm
TDR250 http://ukrm.net/BIKES/Yamaha/tdr250.html
martin dot smith nine zero three at ntlworld dot com

 

Free ginger beer for everyone, eh?

--
AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
The speccy Geordie twat.

 

Flip for who gets to torch it?

 

Clean. I 'kin hate dirty tables and menus with food samples on them. Also no
"marinated in our chef's secret sauce and presented with a baked potato"
type bollox in the menu descriptions. But clean is the main thing.

 

Bike parking and a place to put helmets and jackets.

 

Comfy booth-style seating

Free coffee and tea top ups.
Staff that actually go round and DO the topping up.
Quality ingredients. I used to go to a cafe that offered an organic
breakfast, it cost a bit more, but I dont think they ever sold anything else
to someone once theyd tried it.
Really good free range eggs at the very least.
A decent and varied menu.
and finally, the clincher...

Good staff who really know what customer service is...

 

The bathroom should have a Swafega dispenser; loads of really sturdy hooks
for the greasy leathers; car park for stunts; large bore WC; no clientele
when it rains or during the winter; waitresses with skins as thick as
rhinos.

 

The friendly welcome can be taken as read - she's good at that. I'll
take up a strategic position across the street with an airgun to sort
out any local scrotes ;-)

Good point - there's been many a time I've had to squash my helmet
under the table[1] in a cramped cafe.

It does, ta.

[1] Just don't...

 

A totally undefinable quality. It's a sort of charisma, I suppose. What
think you?

http://www.chirgles.btinternet.co.uk/cafe.jpg


Des & Cal.

 

Oh yeah, forgot about that one. The absolute clincher.

 

Would sir like a bridge to hide under too?

 

and in the carpark checking anything worthy of a ticket :-/

 

1. Private roundabout (floodlit)
2. Private wheelie/drag strip (floodlit)
3. Video cameras covering 1 & 2 above fed to screens in cafe. Video or DVD
copies of footage available to buy.
4. Resident photographer shooting roundabout & wheelie-strip action - photos
for sale in cafe later.
5. Good quality food - buffet bar.
6. Pole-dancing
7. Licenced bar
8. Simple dormitary / sleeping facilities - a la budget french motels
9. Secure, covered parking for bikes (for overnight stays, binned bikes etc)
10. proximity to great biking roads
11. hookers
12. internet access
13. function room for biking-related meetings/parties.

 

SO and I won't go to a restaurant unless it can cater for her food
allegies - there's a huge, untapped niche market out there for a restaurant
that understands wheat, nut, dairy and egg allergies (and is insured up the
arse in case they get it wrong). It's really not that hard - just ask the
customers when they come in if they have special dietry requirements, and
get them to tell _you_ what they can and can't eat.

That, and excellent service - show an interest in your customers and make
them feel like they've paid to eat in a much more expensive restaurant. Bend
over backwards and offer free drinks or whatever if anything goes wrong.

Other musts - space to hang jackets, lids etc. safely, good toilets,
parking, cleanliness, atmosphere, a bar where people can sit while waiting
for a table. These places do exist, but not outside of Australia IME.

Best restaurant I've ever been to was a Brazillian barbeque - 16.50 reais
(about 4 quid), and for that you get all the meat you can eat, valet
parking, a BIG restaurant, attentive waiters etc. etc. Manage that, and I'll
be there with a dozen mates.