Your ideal cafe?

Noted, ta. I think the range will have to be fairly limited to start
with though until she gets an idea of how quickly stuff goes - unless
it can be frozen of course.

 

FROZEN?!!! ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL?!!

 

Good looking burds [1] with big knockers, short skirts and a sense of humour
serving, no hairy bacon, proper coffee/tea, space, clean tables and
immaculate bogs with soap and non shiny bog paper.

[1] this from past experience works very well [2]
[2] you may get to interview them . . . . .

 

Aside from what's already been said , decent sized portions so that you
don't go away still hungry.
I don't mind paying extra for a decent sized sandwich instead of an economy
special , if the price is increased in proportion

--
Alex

"I laugh in the face of danger , then I hide until it goes away"

www.drzoidberg.co.uk
www.ebayfaq.co.uk

 

The 'clean' thing does seem to be a popular request. I suppose that's
natural, but something I kinda take as read when I go somewhere. I
think I must've been lucky with my choices as I honestly can't ever
remember going somewhere that struck me as anything other than clean.

 

Sand paper do ya?
--

Cheers!
Fr Jack
96 Tiger.
FRJACKUKRM AT GMAIL DOT COM
skype: fr.jack (without the dot)
Insomnia sucks!

 

Krusty scribbled:

No namby rubbish food, just good chips/eggs/sausages/bacon/butties. And
cake. And no crap coffees or other shite, just normal decent fresh
brewed coffee & tea.

Plenty of room, seats that aren't a PITA after 10 minutes, and number 1
decent, friendly, thoughtful service.

For starters anyway.

To start with she's going to have to do the most commonly requested
food and drinks, and then when set up and rolling introduce the other
diets and alternative foods then. Trying to do them first would be a
recipe for disaster I would have though.

 

Monkey scribbled:

^^^^ ^^^^^

Bit of a problem there, no?

That is the clincher. The insurance would be horrendously expensive,
and sourcing the food and ingredients a massive headache as well, as
would be staff training.

From what I've been told most production lines are used for multiple
food products, or at least have other food products in near proximity
so food stuffs getting from one product into another is likely.

To make any "X" free product you need to have a line not used for any
other types of food, and in isolation from anything else. Costs lots,
for a minor, slow moving food line.

Oh, I forgot another must : bogs that don't stink of piss, are kept
clean, everything works, and there's proper paper towels and not daft
hot air hand dryers.

 

Heard this on the CBC this week, so I don't claim the idea as my own,
but I do know it to be true.

Both extremes of the price range in eating places have a common feature.
The food varies daily. In cheap places it's on a blackboard, with
today's special - usually what the cook has managed to secure at low
cost that day. In expensive places it is also fresh that day - but
probably custom printed on finest vellum. But the idea works in both
places. Good fresh ingredients - and that also usually means local.

The all day beakfast is a popular choice because it is usually cooked to
order. Similarly grills and barbecues. The principle being buy the best
ingredients and do as little as posible to them and above all do not
keep them sitting about in warm places until ordered.

Another option is the the sort of food that sits in a slow cooker and
can therefore be available as and when required. "Cassoulet" if you want
to be posh, but "baked beans" is the nearly same thing. I don't mean
stuff out of a can. In fact any restuarant/cafe that relies on pre-
cooked packaged catering supplies will lose my custom.

But good customer service is what sets the best apart from the rest. And
if I don't have to tell you what that is - if you have ever visited any
other establishment you know what it means - sadly, usually by its
absence.

I also much prefer the idea of a fixed price - the bill should never
come as a surprise.

 

At last, someone who understands me!

 

Facilities catering for bike clothing, helmets etc as stated elsewhere.
Plus....

Sausages that have meat in them. Good local produce that I wouldn't mind
paying a premium for. There's plenty of good producers of processed
foods (breads, cheeses, salads, vegetables, bacon, hams etc.) [1] all
around the country, so why not put your local stuff on the menu
alongside the run of the mill stuff?

I wouldn't have thought that anybody else would be doing that in a cafe
setting[2].

--
Chris H,
CBR600F, two#55
He's predictable, but that's to be expected.
Please remove veg to reply

[1] i.e. not cash'n'carry mechanically recovered meat products and
wilted veg.
[2] i.e. not a posh restuarant.

 

That's not for effect, darsy means it.

 

Krusty emerged from their own little world to say

Fine by me. My bike is 100% legit but I do tend to break one or two[1]
traffic regulations whilst on the move.

[1] speed mainly but occasionally overtake across double whites

 

She can have her eggs frozen these days, I'm sure.

 

He gets my vote.

"No dogs, no irish, no people with upside down heads and leather
waistcoats.

 

Occasionally???
How did cammo describe your riding?

 

Krusty wrote

Somewhere to park yerrat.

 

GPZ emerged from their own little world to say

Enlighten me. I misremember. Although I had it in my sig at one point so it
will be on google somewhere.

 

Decent coffee
Intelligent service that is friendly and fast
Decent coffee

That'd be cool!
I'm waaaay over here in Cananada but someday I might be back over
--------> and maybe this caff will turn out to be a good place for a
meet ;-)

I've cut the crossposts(no offence UKRMers) to reply but I hope Krusty
reads the replies in both groups as possibly some caffers will remove
the xposts TAAW.

 

Yeah, right. Welcome to the modern era.

Drinks-wise, coffee is a must. Both regular Red Mountain for the likes
of Frag, and decent espresso/capuccino/latte (with assorted syrups) for
anyone who's made it into the '90s. Tea, yeah, whatever.

As to food, a good cooked breakfast is surely the staple of any cafe
worth visiting, and that easily leads to butties. Besides the obvious
burgers (and chicken nuggets/fish fingers for the kids), try to steer
away from the usual fried shit. Keep the menu simple (the more things
there are on a menu, the worse they're likely to be) and avoid anything
that tastes like it's just come out of a packet, eg. lasagne.

And go for a slightly kitsch look. Red/white check tablecloths, ketchup
bottles that look like tomatoes, a name like "café munch" and play easy
listening music (appeals to young and old alike, even if only on an
ironic level) or hand-picked jazz. Quietly. No fucking Virgin FM or
Capital or whatever they have down your way.

Basically, not shit.